Sheets

It’s the little things. 

I found my sheets today. I’m grateful for the sheets I’ve been sleeping on, and they served us well, but boy oh boy am I stoked to climb into my bed tonight. I replaced our bedding at IKEA when we were in KC, and now even the same sheets? That’s just over the top exciting. I’m still having a lot of nightmares/night anxiety about the fire, and have a very difficult time sleeping for more than a few hours without waking up. I always sleep better on the days I run, but that’s only 2 maybe 3 times a week if I’m lucky. 

There is so much on my plate. The twins have had some emotional relapses and are having traumatic episodes several times a week, sometimes several times a day. I weep and wail for justice for them and my cries fall on ears that are choosing not to hear, and that makes the wounds even worse, because then I am hurting for them, too. 

I remember a year ago when I coached and mothered them through this thinking, Meg it’s ok. A year from now your life is going to be SO much easier. Your load will be lighter. The kids will be out of diapers and disassociated behavior will be a thing of the past. 

I want to time travel and give last year Meg a hug and tell her she can do this. And then help her to buckle up for the next 6-12 months! 

What I’m learning is that even at what I think is my MOST stretched, I am capable of carrying so much more. And if I yoke myself to the Savior, the load of burden can be infinite, because He will enable me to bear it. I feel daily that “this is not the meal, Jerry.” 

This is not the trial that defines our lives. This is only a preparation for something ahead. I can feel the heaviness of the emotional burden and I know it is only a training session for the future.  I am weak and weary and need to toughen up quick, because Future Meg needs to be stronger than she is today. 

And she will be, because she trained HARD today and survived.

I’m so thankful to those who answer my calls and just listen. The spontaneous acts of service and kindness are so thoughtful and always so needed.  These little things mean SO much to me. You give me life. 

Like finding my favorite sheets. 

Kansas City

I’ve had trouble getting posts to publish and sort of gave up after that. I’ll give it another shot though because...well, because blogging is something I need to do.  

We took a little temple trip a few weekends ago in early February. Here’s the post! 















Our last temple trip attempt involved me getting very sick and hurling most of the day.  I’ve tried and tried to schedule a do-over for weeks, but plans fell through to the kids needs, or work travel schedule, or stake activities, or snow. But Friday was the day the stars aligned! Aaron had been traveling since the previous Saturday for Walmart YBM and flew in at 10:30 Thursday night. Aaron starts a new position at work, on Monday, so Friday was the ideal opportunity to take a day off.  I tried to call a few college aged girls but being a last minute trip, they were booked up!  Kasey took Friday off and stepped in as Mama all weekend!  My parents helped a lot too and tag teamed bringing kids home from school, b-ball, play dates, etc. and Jimmie ran operation human jungle  gym/fun coordinator. I’m so thankful to have had this opportunity to slip away.  

A few hiccups. Sloane woke up at 2am Friday morning and refused to go back to sleep. I also had an 8mile memorial Run for Jennifer event I had committed to attend on Saturday. Esme cried all morning that she was going to throw up.  Aaron realized early that morning that it was a new month and his recommend had just expired.  I had a lot of anxiety about leaving the children, even though I knew they would be in wonderful and safe hands. It sounds silly, but good grief, can’t a set of tired parents just go to the temple?  Satan really did not want us to go, and threw every opposition at us, knowing full well that sick kids, anxiety, and lack of preparation might be enough to cause us to postpone yet again. The twins have an important hearing this week, we had things to discuss, and really have poured every ounce of energy into the children and fire recovery that we needed to reconnect and plan and worship and receive peace and instruction that can only be felt within the walls of the house of the Lord. 

Aaron made a couple calls and our local leaders were incredibly accommodating and Aaron interviewed and renewed his recommend. 

Kasey and I knocked out an 8 mile run on Friday morning. It wasn’t the same as #run4jennifer, but hey we got it done. The kids are fine. We need the temple and we know it and nothing was going to stop us. 

We drove straight up to Kansas City and grabbed a late lunch at Noodles and Company, then spent 5.5 glorious, non-rushed hours in the temple doing initiatories and an endowment session. 

We stayed at a boutique hotel at crowne plaza called The Fontaine and we checked in, then ate dinner at 11pm by a fire in the house restaurant like a couple of childless grownups. 

On Saturday, Aaron hit the hotel gym, I slept in, we found out there is a Kneaders in Kansas City. 

I repeat, THERE IS A KNEADERS IN KANSAS CITY.  That was the obvious thing to do next and once we were filled with French toast, we felt like going back to the temple for sealings. So we did! It was so wonderful. We checked into The Sheraton and were upgraded to the concierge floor. The rest of Saturday was filled with window shopping for furniture in the fancy shops in the city. I drooled over the ginormous lululemon store and Aaron drooled over the Teslas. We made a mandatory stop inside Moosejaw, an outdoor adventure clothing brands recently acquired by Walmart. Aaron destroyed me on a round of ping pong, I tripped on uneven floor and busted my face on a window display. We FaceTimed the children, priced pots and pans at Sur le Table, eyed pretty fountains and sculptures, talked and laughed and planned and cried and ate the best mashed potatoes ever at Kona Grill, got lost in the maze shopping for replacement essentials at IKEA, and had free cake from the concierge at midnight and a continental breakfast Sunday morning before heading home to meet up with our family at church. It was so good and we promised to not let 2 years pass by again before we take a night away together. 

Soren’s First Piano Lesson

Soren expressed an interest in piano lessons, so we decided to give it a shot. We haven’t replaced our piano yet so the kids are practicing on a borrowed large electric keyboard. Soren was fascinated by the many sound options the synth has to offer and I jumped on the interest and asked if he would like lessons. We are giving it a 2 month trial to see if the interest is a thing.  Soren lost two teeth in as many days and one came out in the car right before lessons. He was so excited for his first lesson and his lost tooth and he ran in to tell Thith-ter Thuh-theene all about it.  Enjoy making music, “Thoren!”