The Flood...and the Fire

On Thursday, Dec 13, the upstairs toilet backed up and flooded through the floors to the kitchen below. 

It was waste water. Coming through the ceiling and light fixtures. Into the KITCHEN. Gross. 

When I opened the linens closet to get extra cleaning supplies, I noticed all of the towels in there were wet. 

Sweet. This room is flooded as well. 

Annnnnd then the drywall seams in the laundry room ceiling showed up. Also soaked trough. With poo water. 

Poor Quincy felt awful. She had clogged the toilet and tried to fix it herself, which led to more flooding, as she didn’t know to cut off the water supply line.  She felt guilty and responsible. We tried to help her understand that this was just an accident. No faults. No blame. Just a flood that we need t get fixed and carry on.

I stayed up until about 2am bleaching all the things. We realized we were in way over our heads with this one, and wet/contaminated drywall meant we needed to bring in professionals. So on Friday morning, we opened an insurance claim and a restoration company started pulling back carpet and drying out the walls and ceiling with big industrial fans. 

I said multiple times “is there ever a good time for a flood?” 

Really though, super inconvenient. It was Reese’s 14th birthday, and the day of an important hearing for the twins. And 10 days before Christmas. 

We left for court at noon, with restoration workers hanging up plastic sheets in the kitchen to set up a containment zone. They said the ceiling in 1/2 of the kitchen,  the laundry room, and guest bathroom would need to come down.  What a mess!

“We’ll relax after court.” We said. “Let’s just get through this heavy and emotional hearing, and then it will all be smooth sailing for Reese’s birthday and Christmas. 

Haha relax. Famous last words! 

We came home to trucks and lights, smoke and flames. 

Our home was engulfed in fire. 

Hygge

I roasted my first ever whole chicken (2, actually, since my family is huge) yesterday. I took all of my ingredients over to Naomi’s on Tuesday for a tutorial and brought everything home ready to pop into the oven. Thanks, Nay, for teaching me! 

This pretty instagram worthy pic is from last night. I looked at our Tuesday schedule and realized it was too crazy to have a sit down mean, so I threw grilled cheese sandwiches at the kids to eat in the van on the way to 900 activities in 900 locations, and set the pretty chickens aside in the fridge for Wednesday. 

Wednesday came abd began with a bang. Soren woke up with pinkeye. The twins had multiple important therapy sessions to attend, Corbin threw up at school and even though he showed no other symptoms, I had that mom feeling it was strep, so I made a dr appt for him, too. Both big girls are buried in school projects that have them at stress level emergency. (Thanks to The Office, we call this “threat level midnight”) 

So I chinned up, turned on Nat King Cole, lit some yummy Christmas candles, built us a cozy fire, abd had the table set with pretty dishes to try and turn around a yucky day with some hygge. 

 My offering was rejected and everyone was crying or yelling at someone else by dinner time. The witching hour was...well...bewitched and I could not get a handle on it.  

So I hid in my laundry room and ate all the chocolate from a Christmas goody plate that a friend had dropped off. It was great. 

I would have rather had a peaceful dinner with peaceful people, instead. But at least the chicken was pretty, the hum of my dryer was nice and loud, and the chocolate was good. Keeping it real here! 

Quincy is 12

Chippy/Snoopy/Waffles or whatever his name is the year is, left Q a birthday message. 

You know that scene in Elf where Buddy stays up all night, decorating the department store for Santa?  Corbin sneakily stayed up until 4am cutting out letters for a happy birthday banner in the dark, then creeping from the basement up to Reese abd Quincy’s bedroom and adding the pages one at a time.  Sweetest thing ever! He was a tired wreck the next day, but it was worth it because Quincy felt the birthday love and still has the banner hanging in her room. 



He also wrote cute little notes for her. 


Quincy did not do a friend party, this year.  We surprised her one evening with a special Harry Potter themed family birthday dinner, complete with hogwarts decor, a golden snitch, Hedwig the owl, Hagrid (me), and a speech about light and happiness from Dumbledore (also me, because there is no end to a mother’s love.) The meal was a snack assortment/charcuterie. We made butterbeer floats for dessert.  Quincy’s birthday candle was one of Aunt Lisa’s Chinese candles that opens and sings Happy Birthday. Q declared that her birthday week would live on as long as the candle kept singing. Of course, this meant we celebrated for 8 crazy nights. The candle has been thrown outside and our front yard has been singing obnoxiously 24/7 for a week! 

Birthdays end by crawling through the traditional birthday spanking tunnel. Grandpa is obviously new to this tradition. Hahaha! 

Oh Quincy Brooklyn, we love you so much! 

12 will be good to you! 

Corbin Sings at Roundup and Soren Gets the Big 3 Award Again!

Soren was awarded the Big 3 at school AGAIN! He just received this award in October, so he was quite surprised to get it again. I was not surprised at all. Soren is a shining little example of delightfulness at home. I’m happy that he carries this part of himself to school as well. Way to go, Soren! 

Corbin’s class performed a song about the respiratory system to the tune of Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer. It had about 100 verses and Corbin knows them all. Haha. 

I love being at Roundup for the kids. I was a sweaty mess by the time I left. The triplets climbed all over me and took turns melting down, but we made it out in one piece and the boys were so happy we were there. 

Funny story, when Soren stood up, the woman seated next to me eyed him, then eyed my multicultural brood in tow. She asked, “he yours, too?” Pointing at Soren. Then asked, “and are these three the same age?” When I answered,  “yes”, she nodded and said “oh! Did y’all do that artificial in-sam-in-ation? These two it’s obvious they had a different donor, but that little one don’t look a thing like you neither.”

😳😳 say what?

So that was a first. Haha! I guess it’s better than being called their nanny. I think. 

Also better than the comment I got at sams club from the tortilla lady, who asked which one of them was a mistake. I replied, “none of them!” And she asked “well how does that happen then?”  

I guess I don’t know how I feel about people coming up with crazy reasons why I’m caring for 2 not white children. I don’t feel like it’s fair to say “they’re in foster care.” Because it’s almost inevitably followed with a negative comment about their birth family, or about the concept of foster care, followed by calling me a “saint for taking on such a challenge.” 

Don’t get me wrong. There are a LOT of challenges that I face every day. But can’t we call children something other than a burdensome title right in their faces? How might children grow up differently if every human that felt the need to comment looked them in the eyes and told them they are of great worth. That they are loved. Important. That they matter. 

“I mother them.” 

is going to be the new answer to try out. I’ll post a follow up on how that goes after a trial run. 

Because “artificial insemination” .... 🤦🏻‍♀️ just. Wow. 😂

Another side note, Corbin’s teacher joined a few others to sing an a cappella Little Drummer Boy. The room was really quiet. Reverent, even.  I love that they did this, and I love that Christian Christmas music is still allowed in school here. I also like it when teachers collaborate to use their talents to do fun things for the kids, just for the sake of doing them and sharing a piece of themselves with their students. 

Caroling, Caroling, Now We Go

It’s a dumb thing. 

But I truly love the carolers of Primrose Lane. 

I absolutely slam on my breaks the first few times I drive up the lane, every December, thinking they are actual people and I need to slow down. 

I did a double take every time I left the house at night the year my next door neighbor had a couple on her porch, thinking there was a strange man lurking the cul de sac. 

I laughed until I peed when we put them on another neighbor’s back porch, peeking into Weezy’s bedroom window and scared her to death. 

I know they are kind of very creepy. 

I love em all the same. 

They just belong here, and I get so excited when they come back. 

We’ll Dress the House

I’m curled up on our new sofa. It’s so nice to have a piece of furniture in the parlor that is long enough to lie down on. 


And here it is with the lights on.  Not nearly as magical, but a glimpse of the book shelves! I am so happy with how they turned out. Definitely worth the hours and hours of priming and painting!  Hooray for a fire, the bath and body works Fresh Balsm candle, togetherness, and Hygge.  I’m so exhausted by 5pm each day. It hits me like a load of bricks.  I’m thankful for this cozy place to unwind when the circus goes to sleep.  More pics of the rest of the house to come, but here are a few of the mostly completed bookshelf project and a comfy place to stretch out and soak it up.  

CASA Christmas Party

Well this one’s a tricky post, since most of the pics include the twins. But I will share anyway, because it was a large part of our weekend.  The best part about this event is how inclusive it is. It is a whole family event. There is no distinction between foster kids and adoptive kids and bio kids. It’s just for the family. I loved seeing my children ministered to and loved on by this organization. Biological children in foster families make sacrifices too, and no one is calling them “a saint” or praising them for the love they freely give, the second hand trauma they endure daily, the bedrooms, clothes, or toys they share, the grief they experience, connection and attachments they form, or the attention of their parents that they sacrifice. It is just part of our lives, and they live it all, highs and lows.  It was so good for them to feel celebrated and included in a party, because they are a part of being a foster fanily in big ways. 

This party was 3 hours of unlimited fun at fast lanes. Everyone was given a little swipe card. Everyone visited Santa. No one asked who was a foster child. They just treated families like families. And they treated us so well. 

Haha Sloane was NOT a fan of the family bumper cars. The twins, however, loved the thrill of it all! We expected to last 30 minutes in that loud crowded place full of flashing lights and places to get lost. Not so! We were shocked. They stayed in a state of insanely happy sensory satisfaction the whole time. All the things to touch, lights to stare at, rides to go on...all of it was totally perfect for them, surprisingly.  

They begged to ride the kiddie coaster. I was hesitant but finally just said yes. Surprise again! Pure joy! No tears! They climbed aboard and smiled and squealed the whole time. So much fun. And what a nice surprise  for our fanily to just go somewhere and have fun and not leave in a parade of tears or tantrums. Also, the crowd was all people who totally “get it”  and have similar concerns. So it was all just very supportive and good. 

Thank you casa for a fun day! #bigfamilyproblems for us to go on one of these rides as a family a $45 expense. Unlimited thrills for hours was quite a gift! Bowling and laser tag and rides and a huge play structure and pizza and games galore. We are so grateful. 

Quincy’s First Cello Recital

Quincy picked up the cello this fall and I found a student teacher to help her get going via weekly private lessons and monthly group lessons. Quincy performed the Twinkle variation in a recital in Fayetteville, today. Some might argue that those Twinkles get old, but these Suzuki teachers love twinkle. It’s the heart and soul of the Suzuki school of music, and as Ms Holly S tells her orchestra students, “it’s never just music.” It’s so much more! Quincy sat up on a stage, all by herself, today, and performed a solo to an audience in a church. She practiced and prepared. She had a contracted accompanist. She was delighted to see her name in print on a program. She is a  cellist! She played so well. After the solo performances, the three instructors called up all of their students (and siblings of students...anyone with an instrument, come one come all) to sight read some Christmas carols together from the kaleidoscope book. But first, because this is a Suzuki school, ALL musicians at any skill level to come up and play the marathon of twinkle variations together. The advanced students did it too, because they are married to these rhythms and this little tune. I understand why. It’s the first thing you play, and you can play it even after very limited instruction. It’s inclusive. It’s back to the basic fundamentals of the craft. Those high schoolers played advanced harmonies and the beginners played the basics. I’ve always thought it was kind of odd the way the twinkle variations are so celebrated, and as a Suzuki student myself, I was soooo twinkled our as a 17 year old. Now I understand. It’s the lifeblood of the program. Look at Quincy up there, playing with some 10 year string students. She is a 10 WEEK string student. And they made music together and it was beautiful. 

It’s more than just music. 

Quincy’s first solo was just a wonderful experience for her.  Your hard work is paying off, Quincy! You are learning! Keep going! 

Lighting of the Square

I only took 3 pics that didn’t have a twin in them, so these are what I’m posting. 

We knew the twins couldn’t handle the crowds of Toyland, so we passed on that tradition this year. For the lighting of the square, Aaron felt irrationally optimistic that they would love it. We went slightly after the official lights on, so the crowds were dispersing, abd we parked over at Lawrence Plaza abd watched the ice skating exhibition and walked over to see the square lights after half the people had gone home. We were only there a total of 30 minutes, probably, and it was just enough before the little ones were super done. They loved all the “Christmas trees” and the music, though.  It was successful enough that  we are (strategically) planning an evening at Stewart family lights. 

Such a cute town. And hooray hooray for another warm evening. It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas! 

Quincy Sings

I snapped this pic of Quincy when I dropped her off for choir practice, this morning. Quincy has been singing in the ward choir for a few years and really enjoys it. She used to ride home from church with our (late)friend Teresa after rehearsal and I think they bonded together through sharing love of music and desserts. 

I like that Quincy has this little outlet that brings her joy each Sunday.  She is connected to friends and contributes to our ward family through singing in the choir.  Bonus: since she is there an hour early, she serves our family by dutifully saving us a pew in the chapel each week, too.  

Willy Thanksgiving 2018

We are so stuffed we ache! 

These beauties came at a comical cost. I doubled the batch, but forgot to split the dough into more containers! The jar exploded when I opened it and launched out of my hands, blasting dough all over the place.

A few hours later, I got the other one out, and this time Aaron was ready! I thought I was, too, but it still scared me so much I dropped to the floor when it gave way with a bang!  It was not easy to open, and I expected it to be forceful, but not loud like a shot gun!  

We started the day with a trip out for donuts. Then my parents came down and played Play Nine with the kids. I baked 3 desserts, this year: a Pumpkin Gooey Butter Cake, an Apple Blackberry pie, and a banana cream pie with a pretzel and caramel topping. 

Banana Cream Pie

1 Graham cracker crust

2-3 fresh bananas

1 large vanilla instant pudding mix

2c milk

1/2 c egg nog

1 c pretzels

Caramel sauce 

Heavy cream

Vanilla 

1/4 c sugar 

Line pie crust with banana slices

Drizzle with caramel

Mix pudding package with 2 c milk and 1/2 c egg nog 

Pour over bananas

Top with crushed pretzels, more bananas, and caramel sauce. 

Chill pie a few hours. 

Whip heavy cream with vanilla and sugar until peaks form. Top pie with whipped cream when you serve it. 

The twins LOVED thanksgiving and kept saying “it’s Christmas!”  They have a LOT of food issues, so a holiday that revolves around baking and eating all day totally IS Christmas for them! Haha! They were the cutest at their tiny table with Sloane tonight. 

Soren insisted that Thanksgiving is on Nov 23, not the 22 and that the real holiday is tomorrow.  
Little Sloane has figured out how to undo the pin that fastens her crib tent. She basically hadn’t slept in days and is totally feral. It’s 8:45 pm and she’s been awake since 3am. She’s beyond hyper with delirium. We’ve put her to bed multiple times tonight but she just gets out.  What goes up must come down, eventually, right?  We’re waiting for her to crash, but I think she’s going to outlast us!  It’s like a repeat of Memorial Day weekend.  She didn’t eat or sleep and was just crazy for 3 days until the crib tent arrived in the mail. When we set up the tent she slept for 16 hours straight and things were great for 6 months. She loved the crib tent and called it her temple bed.  But now she figured out she can just get out of the tent, and why go to bed when there are toys to play with. She won’t stay in a big girl bed, and won’t sleep anywhere. What are we going to do?  I think we’ve got one more day of this before somebody cracks.  Probably me.  It’s like the universe thought we didn’t have enough to stress about, so it decided to add a child wandering the house all night leaving a trail of destruction while she busily trues to keep herself awake. I’m sure this is in response to the increased fireworks display of traumatic meltdowns the twins have been having lately. It’s rough on us. I can only imagine it’s rough for a 3 year old, too.  She’s totally savage. Here she is, eating hummus under the table instead of taking a nap this afternoon. 

Oh Sloane. You helped made Thanksgiving 2018 one to remember! 


We are thankful. While we have our trials, we know the life we live is comfortable and we will try harder not to take it for granted.  This holiday we are trying to just enjoy being together. 

Reese’s Orchestra Concert

I hear her practice, and she sounds great, but adding those low strings in really makes the experience rich.  Orchestra concerts are quickly becoming one of my favorite “mom thing” exhibitions to attend.  The music is good, and it’s such a delight to watch these young musicians grow in their talents. Beautiful job tonight, Reese. Keep playing!