A certain 7 month old thinks she is 15 or something.

Weak Things Will Become Strong

It's not always sunshine and rainbows.

I awoke Monday morning with golf ball sized lymph glands, 30+ kanker sores in my mouth, and a dark band of hives wrapped around the side of my abdomen and up my spine. Because of the location and body pain, and recent exposure to chickenpox (don't even get me started. I can't go there), I fearfully panicked for awhile that it might be shingles, but the rash has now evenly spread across my full torso and legs (and arms, and chest) and really are just itchy achey hives and an angry inflamed endocrine system. Perhaps an allergy? Who knows. Benadryl seems to be helping with the itchy achey part. 

Mothering is really fun, sometimes. 

Mothering is really really hard work, sometimes. I have been humbled lately as each of my children have experienced, or are experiencing, frustrating trials that I feel I have exhausted all of my abilities and knowledge to help them endure. Just sitting by, watching them go through it, feels like I'm not doing my job. But I am at a loss as to how to help them.  Last night, I knelt in prayer with Aaron and we called upon God for help with these little children. 

The scripture Ether 12:27 promises that if I will be humble and have faith, weak things will become strong. 

"And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them."

I know the trials I face right now in mothering are not punishment from God. (Though it probably sounds like it sometimes as I lament to Him in prayer, "Why is this so hard? Why art thou doing this to me/them?") Rather, these challenging days are to humble me. I know I am a better mother today than I was 3 years ago because of trials.  I know I only got through those trials with divine assistance. I can thank those difficult times for bringing me closer to Christ, and helping me develop testimony of the enabling power of the Atonement. I suppose it will help me to find gratitude in the difficulties I'm facing with my little ones today. 

I also received a blessing of healing, and among other things, was blessed with "endurance to to bear disappointments". 

So that's what's on my mind today. I'm analyzing the things that aren't going the way I want, and pondering which things I have power to change vs which things I need to accept how they are, with gratitude. 

And I'm loading up on Benadryl. 

Meet the Teacher

It took until the 4th day of school, but I finally got to meet Quincy's and Corbin's teachers. The children are in good hands with Mrs Hallwachs and Mrs Southworth, and both teachers had only good reports for my Middle Willies. 

Peach Picking With My Sweet Peaches

 Katie and Carly and I took our little guys out to Taylor Farm in Gentry to pick peaches. The kids carried around adorable red buckets and picked a peck of pickle peaches. Just kidding. I don't even know what a peck is, and they weren't pickled. But they were pink, plump, and practically perfect. 

There are some serious perks when your good friend is also an amazing photographer. Like when you get an email loaded with photos that capture our perfectly peachy adventure. 

And now, I have 10 quarts of peaches put up for the year.  Canning with a friend is so much faster and immeasurably more fun with a friend. 

Two. Days. Later.

Seriously, universe?! Different tire. This time, I was on a country road in Gentry, Ar. Luckily, Carly wasn't far ahead of me and came back. We'd planned to just roll up our sleeves and DIY the tire change, but it wasn't necessary. Before shed even turned around, a young kid named Michael (or Angel Michael, as I called him) pulled over and said few words, "flat?" "Got a spare?" And as I nodded he was pulling the spare out of my trunk and putting a jack under the car. 

I love the South. Every single person who drove past me stopped to offer help.  And when Carly pulled behind me, people stopped to ask her if she needed anything. Old and young, they all offered and we were out of there in no time.  

Could whoever keeps leaving razor blades in the road please stop? Leave it to me to drive over them and get them jammed in my sidewall so my tires aren't fixable. I wasn't really wanting to buy 4 new tires, this week.

My neighbor, Mrs JJ picked up Corbin and Quincy with her kids, and I made it to Old High just in time to get Reese.  Aaron met me and switched cars again to deal with the tire purchase after work, and also to not have Sloane and Soren and I chugging down the country highways on our super lousy spare.  Reese laughed her head off when I rolled up in Aarons truck again. "Another one?! No way!" 

I sure feel like I've landed the role Damsel in Distress for like 2 years.  That's not me.  I don't like being so reliant on other people all the time, but I seen to find myself in a perpetual debt of gratitude to friends and strangers and my wonderful husband, who are always coming to my rescue, both physically and emotionally.  It's been humbling to know what I need to make everything great, but not have time or ability to just do it. To everyone who's pulled me out of a rut lately, thanks for saving me, and for making me feel like I'm worth rescuing. 

Whaaaaaaat.

Ummmmm hello?! Sloane, you are 7 months old. Knock this business off right now. 

She is SO proud of herself and waves hi every time she gets on her feet. Stay my little baby, Miss Sloane! She is a curious one, this girl. Curious and thrill seeking, and brave. Heaven help me, I am not those things! 

Sloane is cruising. 

Hi, I'm Meg Willardson and I do NOT endorse this message. 

First Day

It's the first day of school. Oh I had great plans for this day! Last night, I went to the market super late at night and bought everything for a big, hearty breakfast. I would walke up an hour before the children and serve them heaping plates of love to fill them up for the first day. 

I would drive them to school, blasting our traditional "hold your light up" song to fire them up. I would walk them to class and meet the teachers and take a photo at their desk, and kiss my sweet babies at the door. I would keep it together then cry in the parking lot. 

Then, per tradition, I would take the littles for a donut date. 

After a busy summer, I treated myself to a Morning for Meg. I hired a college aged babysitter to come play with my babies while I took a few hours to relax: a Mom's Only swim party and breakfast with some friends followed by none other than a massage. Yes! I scheduled myself 60 minutes of blissful solitude for meditation and deep tissue relaxation. 

I would come home at noon to napping children, and curl up with the book I bought for myself (The Night Circus) and I would just read until school pickup time. 

You guys. It was just too good to be true.

The children woke up at 4am, too excited/nervous for school to go back to sleep. They were a tired, quarreling wreck by 6am. They ate cold cereal for breakfast. 

To reset the bad energy/attitudes in our home, I had each child say something positive and encouraging to each other before family prayers. We loaded into the van. Things were looking up! 

Aaaannnnnd then our tire blew out in the driveway. I looked at the clock and knew we'd never make it in time. The children took a quick "first day" pic in our driveway, then hopped into the car with Aaron and sped away. 

And just like that, summer ended. 

Soren was pretty upset about everyone just leaving us stranded at home, and about missing our donut date. I was sort of just stunned with disappointment and could not go back into the house. Soren settled for riding his bike in the yard and I sat on my porch swing with Sloane and cried. 

Yes. It was a pity party. I know it seems silly, but I REALLY needed to know the children would have a good day, partly so I wouldn't feel guilty for taking a morning for me....which wasn't happening either. 

The children were 15 minutes late for school. I didn't realize just how badly I wanted to walk them in, until I no longer had the chance. 

To my surprise, aaron returned after taking the kids, put the spare on the van, and traded cars with me so he could fix the tire on his lunch hour. What a guy. 

My sitter came over late and I was still able to swing by the mom swim for a bit before my massage appointment. We ate the hearty breakfast for dinner, and everyone was fine. Even though the day didn't go completely the way I had planned, it all worked out.  I came home so relaxed from my massage, I thought maybe the children would enjoy and benefit from the same  luxury.  Aaron had some meetings after dinner, so once soren and Sloane were in bed,  I told the big kids to go put their robes on. They looked so cute as they each waited for their turn at the "mommy spa". I set out my lotions for them to choose from, and fashioned a simple "massage table" and played some music on my phone with the lights off while I rubbed their backs, shoulders, and necks for a few minutes before sending them off to their shower. It was such a quick and easy gesture but they really loved it, and it had an amazingly positive effect on everyone's attitude about the first day. 

Reese was most appreciative and said "I love this!" About a thousand times while I massages her arms. Girlfriend loooves physical touch. I can scrach her back or twirl her head for 2 minutes and she is filled with love. She's like a sweet puppy that comes around for a belly rub it a head pay when she needs a boost. I found a sticky note of thanks on my pillow when I went to bed and, of course, she signed it from everyone. 

Quincy tried so hard to relax but giggled and tickled nearly the whole time. I'm not surprised my her reaction either, of that she wanted to chat the whole time. I mostly just gave her a good head scratch and neck massage while she told me more tales of her day. 

Corbin just said "hey guess what? I'm naked under this towel! And laughed over and over. He had underwear on, for the record. He chose pumpkin spice lotion and told me he hoped it wouldn't wash off in his shower so he would smell like dessert at school. I could hardly touch him without firing off giggles at first, but he, too, settled down and shallow laughter slowly became slow, deep breaths and yawns until eventually floated off to a shower and crashed in bed. 

Everyone kindly slept until 6:30 the next day.