The week that was all Mondays

It simmered with awful all week and started to boil on Thursday night when we had one of those dinners where i just knew there would be chaos. I  made a few preventative attempts by setting the table ahead of time, even filling all the glasses for everyone beforehand and reminding the children that once dinner began they needed to stay at the table. 

It was total chaos. 

I tripped over a pair of shoes on the way to the table and in frustration barked at the child who had still not put them away. She kicked them under the table and I decided to choose my battles and just carry on with dinner. Soren was screaming for juice, Corbin was crying because Quincy had set out the forks he wanted to set, Q refused to eat dinner because "breakfast burritos are disgusting and I wanted grilled cheese" and so on. Little things that I should've known better to just ignore.  It was just a crazy night where everyone was tired, hungry, and sooo ready for bed. And Mr Saunchy bellowed juice requests at all of us throughout the meal, raising the decibel level up to the headache range.  

I could have remained calm, but unfortunately, I chose not to. I was mad that I was in fact, not June Cleaver, and a peaceful dinner was not going to happen. I was mad that the children were acting like children. I was mad that I was letting it make me mad. There were at least 2 kids out of their seat and running around the table at any given moment Soren's yelling for juice got louder as I told the children to sit back down and finish eating. For the sake of peace, Aaron finally surrendered his tall glass of OJ to Saunchy to silence his request as I totlh lost it and shouted, "Just. Sit. Down! Be still!" And the glass of orange juice dumped all over Soren, dinner, and the table. It then ran between the planks of the table and onto the floor, filling the new shoes that had been kicked directly under them. I hastily said in my horrid "mother knows best" voice, "I bet you wish you had listened and put those away now that they're full of orange juice." and consequently sent Reese into hysterics who marched up to her room, but not quite into her room, so we could still hear and be punished by her misery as she perched herself at the top of the stairs and cried. We finished eating in non-conversation accompanied by crying and complaints about gross dinner and a confession that Q had lost her custom ear plugs that she wears to swim, shower, etc. Corbin didn't make it to the bathroom and peed all over his mustache rug, which turns out us dry clean only (seriously, bathrug makers? Dry clean? Why?) I gave up on baths, helped Reese calm down, Aaron cleaned up Soren and I sent everyone to bed hastily. 

I started cleaning up the sticky orange juice mess and when I tilted Soren's chair  to lift it, a whole bunch of orange juice that had pooled on the seat under the booster sloshed out and all over me. 

I had was so done with this day.

SO done. 

I took the booster off, washed everything down, started mopping and ran out of steam. It had already been an emotional day for me as right before dinner I had come from a birthday visit at my sweet friend's house and she had told me she is dying. I went to bed crying for her and crying for my kids that I had lost my temper over spilled juice of all things. I KNEW the evening could've gone more peacefully if I had chosen to a) set a different tone, and b) reacted differently to everything that happened.

 

"Tomorrow is another day. Just be grateful to have a tomorrow and for the chance to try again." I told myself.

 Aaron consoled my feelings of failure with the same advice.

In the morning, Mr Saunchy was gone and a well rested, happy Soren greeted me with requests for oatmeal. I popped him into his booster seat, served him breakfast and headed toward my bedroom to get dressed.  

Crash! 

Soren was still buckled in the booster seat, and face first on the floor. 

In my angry cleaning fury the night before, I had mopped up the juice, but never reattached the booster TO the chair! And then I'd strapped my baby into the horrible trap and he was now screaming in pain. 

I immediately scooped him up and held him close to me and ran to the sofa to snuggle him up and console his owies that were totally my fault. After a minute of shaky sobs he looked up at me.

Blood. So much blood. 

Blood Everywhere. 

A busted chin, split almost an inch on impact would not quit bleeding. I knew right away it was going to need stitches and called our pediatrician. An hour later we were in his office getting checked out and it was decided that the area was too high tension and too big to be glued shut. Stitches for sure. They didn't charge me for our visit and sent us straight over to the ER. 

They wanted to sedate Soren for stitches but I begged them not to. Is there any other option? Soren was really calm (albeit bleeding still) and putting him under general anesthesia for 3 stitches seemed extreme. 

They gave him 3 treatments of local anesthesia and Soreb enjoyed a few Popsicles whole we waited 30 minutes for him to numb and for the cosmetic surgeon to arrive. 

The worst part for sure was as traumatizing for me as it was for him. They called it the papoose board and even though it was terrible, it was done after 10 minutes and I'm glad Soren didn't need to be sedated. First his wrists were strapped to his sides, then giant panels overlap and swaddle-velcroed him  until only his head was mobile. They covered everything but his chin with sterile cloths and he cried, "mama mama!" and I cried too while a nurse held his head still and they stitches his wound closed. 

It was horribly traumatic and a real boil over at the end of an already difficult week. Soren was down to one stitch left by Monday and part of me hopes it will just fall out, too, to save us a trip back to the ER to have it removed tomorrow. 

I know these things just happen. 

I know my kid is fine. 

I also know this was a wake up call to simmer down now. If I had been in a better frame of mind, I would've been aware of not attaching the booster seat. 

I'm thankful it wasn't worse. 

I'm thankful for "try again tomorrows."

Photo Dump

1) Reese made this bday card for our little neighbor buddy's Minecraft bday. I'm going to call it a good thing that the only kind of "creeper" that she knows about is from Minecraft. 

2) The last week of summer was just what it should be. Part lazy, part chaotic. I love our heavenly street where my children can play and play and play. 

3) this little image of our baby girl. Her hands are open and it gives me peace. Our 20 week ultrasound revealed a cyst on her brain, which is scary but apparently happens in 5-15% of pregnancies. Hopefully it will just go away, as these cysts commonly do. But it's also a sign of many pretty severe health challenges including Hydrocephalus and Trisomy 18, so naturally, I'm a little (a lot) worried about her, like all the time. Trisomy 18 usually reveals clenched fists in an ultrasound, so this little snapshot of individual fingers fanned out brings me some peace. Isn't she the most precious 11 ounces of baby goodness you've ever seen? Technology is so amazing. Unfortunately, technology has also giving me a little too much info to worry about and there's really nothing we can do but watch and wait. I'd almost rather not know than just wait helplessly. I already have a prenatal echo scheduled at 25 weeks since I'm high risk for congenital heart defects after having Soren.  Now we'll also get a fourth peek of our baby girl via a level 2 4D ultrasound at 30 weeks. We're anxious to see her progress, praying for this cyst to disappear, and we are excited see who she ends up looking like. I don't think she looks like either of us yet in the 20 week pic. We'll see as time goes by.  No name decided yet, but I love her so much already and I am very grateful to be able to carry her.  Pregnancy is a gift we do not take for granted. 

4) Evidently, my kids like order as much as I do. Happy. 

5) purge purge! I rid my home of 11 storage bins of child and infant clothing on Friday and Saturday. I started with a garage sale but once it started raining Saturday morning I decided I had better things to do with a Saturday, so everything was thrown in the car and dropped off at goodwill for donation. I probably could've made a killing at Rhea Lana but it just isn't worth my time or energy right now. Plus, it felt good to donate such a massive amount of clothing. I could've supplied a village. 

The above pic was just 1/10th of what I had going out of here. Not kidding. My garage was packed with tables that overflowed. The baby girl clothes even went, save a few token nostalgic pieces. Those clothes will be 10 years old when baby lady arrives and I realized its not reasonable to store 11 bins of clothes for 6-10 years until they fit her, when other children could be wearing them right now, while they're still in style.

6)Autumn is coming. I'm feeling less energy as each day passes and I know I will be a lethargic anemic heap of gestating uselessness come October. I'm putting a lot of energy into finishing up projects around the house now, before my motivation and ability is totally gone. 

Last week I finally installed new hardware in the girls bathroom so their shower curtain could hang correctly (it kept crashing down) and high enough for the curtain to not puddle on the floor. The girls also picked out some rugs and a fuzzy seat cover. The room is a cheery and happy place. 

7) Those would be hatch green chiles roasting over a fire. Yum. I brought home half a case of them sweating in a big black bag and bagged them up in my deep freezer.

8) I gave away 20 lbs of fresh tomatoes at church two Sundays ago at church, 15 lbs to friends, and 15 lbs to my neighbor who made a giant batch of delicious roasted tomato soup with them. I could've canned them, but I'm just too physically tired to stand around in the kitchen for hours, it's way too hot to do any canning, and these bad boys are sooo delicious they really deserve to be enjoyed fresh anyway. 

9) Soren is really into climbing and perching on anything and everything wobbly and precarious. He loves to sit at the counter with the big kids and he loves to get into a plank position and walk his feet up the wall with all his support on his upper body American Ninja Warrior style. All the balancing and climbing and scaling is really cute and makes me sweat often because he also ends up falling a lot. 

10) fresh tomatoes, basil, and zucchini mean one of my favorite pasta dishes. 

Pasta + zucchini thrown info the pot to cook at the last minute, drain water and toss with fresh tomatoes, fresh pressed garlic, and good olive oil. Chiffonade some basil, add a splash of balsamic vinaigrette, a dash of marjoram and some coarse sea salt. Heavenly! I could eat it every day for lunch, and basically have for the past few weeks. Warm or cold, it's my fave. Add done artichoke hearts and it's extra delish.

11) look what we grew! Small but sweet. Next year, I will pick them earlier. I didn't realize they'd ripen so quickly and in the summer heat most of the crop turned into mush. 

12) the children love school. I love when they come home. It's loud and chaotic and there is homework to do and snacks to fix and they argue and are starving and     have stories about their day and they're full of grand ideas and it's just way better than when they're gone all day.

13) the annual emergency preparedness fair was this weekend. The children had their fingerprints taken and they got to meet Dan Skoff, the weather guy and celebrity crush. Quincy was absolutely star struck and wouldn't even speak at first. She just giggled until he called her over to the green screen and she exclaimed in giggly hysterics, "he knows my name! He said Quincy!" They also met Drew Michaels (that other weather guy). 

14)the BV pools close after Monday. We didn't use the pool as this summer as past years, but we had some really good times there. Reese learned to do a somersault and hand stand and Q rocked a vintage style bathing cap like a boss. I'm taking Soren for a final dip on Friday while the big guys are at school. 

 15) we discovered steak and shake and have made a few trips lately 

16) this just in: kids still love Chuck e cheese and one day spent there will make you the "best mom ever"

17) the Bella Vista chapel is complete! It is beautiful and it's ours.  My heart is full of joy for the members who have worked so hard to build the kingdom and see this dream of having a building in Bella Vista come to fruition has been a powerful display of The Lord keeping his promises.  The open house for the new chapel is in a few weeks and I'm in charge of the primary room stop along the tour. It has been a blessing to be a part of the committee that gets to present this lovely gift of a church to our community.

18) I forgot to include out back to school dinner feast. Tomatoes with fresh mozzarella basil and balsamic vinegar, a cheese and cracker assortment, salami, pepperoni, grapes and apples. We sat around the table and devoured it like starving wolves. I should "cook" like this more often.

19) since I'm having a baby this year I can't run my regular preschool program. I joined a little coop with other mom friends of 2 year olds and together we put together a once a week mommy school program for our tots to have some social interaction and learning. I'm thrilled to get to teach a little, happy to not pay for preschool since Soren still has like 4 years until kindergarten because of his August bday, and it was fun to gather with friends and create something enriching for the children. 

20) we sold big red! No need since all of our firewood can be gathered in our backyard now. It was an eyesore, but it got a lot of jobs done. I'm still pretty happy to see it out of my driveway and even happier that we sold big red for what we paid for it years ago. Sayonara. 

The Greatest Show on Earth

Corbin requested a circus theme for the boys' bathroom over a year ago.  I've had most of the stuff sitting around in the basement for 6-9 months and I'm finally getting my act together and putting the room together. I'm no photographer, but the room is pretty cute! Corbin said, "Mom! You gotta come see what the elves or maybe a tooth fairy did while I was at school!" The boys love it. 

Pinterest win! Pastic circus animals meets 1 inch drill bit = adorable animals on parade toothbrush holders.

Rug: Amazon

Artwork: hobby lobby and homemade 

Elephant towel hooks: Amazon 

Lion towel and lion bathrobe: walmart and Santa 

Shower curtain: purchased secondhand from a friend who made them years ago. (Hollah steph!) 

I totally need to add a print of a Ferris wheel above the toilet and I have a cute canvas craft in mind for a sign that says "strong man" for the door or by the mirror. And if I ever get my hands on one of those distorted circus funhouse mirrors, it's so going on the back of the door. Ooh or maybe in my bathroom because who doesn't love a good mirror to lie to us on our way out the door? ;) 

Mr Saunchy

Our home is currently ruled by a tiny red headed dictator we like to call Mr Saunchy. 

Soren went through a hardcore peanut butter and jelly sandwich phase recently. It was matched only by the strawberry phase. He put the two together and refers to both a sandwich and a strawberr yas a "saunchy" and he demands saunchies any time he is hungry. 

We're still adjusting to being the only two people home during the day and both feel a little list without the full crew to bark our orders at. Who is in charge when it's only the rooster baby and the mother at home? 

We've gotten several little projects finished up this week, Mr Saunchy and I. Artwork and mirrors and some curtains are finally going up, my collection of hooks is finally in the guest bath, and I'm getting ready to paint the guest room. Soren sat on the sink and at the top of the step ladder and played with a box of screws and nails and offered one to me every 30 seconds. 

I'm having a hard time believing this tiny person with many opinions is going to be two next week. He is a living miracle and my little shadow around the house. I'm so lucky to get to spend my days with him. He is such a lovey buddy. 

People say two is terrible. It isn't an easy phase, but mothering a tiny dictator isn't a terrible job. I think it's hard because it's around the time they turn two that we meet our match. The mother and the toddler are the two bossiest people in this house, for sure. I think we just understand each other. It's quiet when everyone else is gone and there's no one to do our bidding. It's just the two of us in a stalemate at the table for lunch today. 

We're having saunchies, of course. I suppose that answers the question who is really in charge. 

My heart is yours, Mr Saunchy. 

This Little Light of Mine

I love that song because ever since Corbin learned it in preschool. He always sings,

 "this is a little bit mine, I'm gonna let it shine. This is really mine, I gonna let it shine! Let it shine, let it shine, it's all mine!" 

True sentiments of a 5 year old: "This is mine". 

Our back to school family night did not disappoint. Of all the traditions we do with our children, releasing lanterns before they begin school has definitely become my favorite.  

We invited our friends, The Pendletons to join us this year, and we started with an FHE lesson at the house first about feeding our own spiritual light and keeping it bright.  We gave the children glow stars and flashlights and had them experiment with how the glow on the star fades quickly after awhile if it hasn't had any exposure to another source of light to "charge" it.  This is like our own testimony and the strength of our light can fade if we don't nourish and charge our mind with Spiritual substance on a regular basis.  

I made a back to school cake and gave each of the kids little "pencils" made from Rolos and Hershey kisses. And each child received a lantern zipper pull that I made from charms. I hope they remember the symbolism of light and live as an example to others while they are at school.

Once the sun had set, we went over to Lake Ann and released about a dozen lanterns filled with the warm glow of our memorable summer together.  It was beautiful. 

Just look at this little light of mine.  Nothing but pure joy. Am I ready to release him to the world?! Can't I keep him for myself? 

This one was special because we all participated. 

I love how our little circle of hands around the lanterns has grown over the years. I love the way the fire makes their faces glow. I love their excitement as they push the lantern into the night sky. My kids are like a personal little collection of sparkling stars. Bits of shining goodness giving light not just to me but all the world.

On the way home, the kids requested their favorite song, "Hold Your Light Up" that they listen to every year on the way to school the first day. They sang along, belting the words out as they waved their glow sticks and bracelets in the air. Their voices in the dark filled my heart with so much of their light that I spilled tears of joy that glowed contemptment and motherly pride.