Weak Things Will Become Strong

It's not always sunshine and rainbows.

I awoke Monday morning with golf ball sized lymph glands, 30+ kanker sores in my mouth, and a dark band of hives wrapped around the side of my abdomen and up my spine. Because of the location and body pain, and recent exposure to chickenpox (don't even get me started. I can't go there), I fearfully panicked for awhile that it might be shingles, but the rash has now evenly spread across my full torso and legs (and arms, and chest) and really are just itchy achey hives and an angry inflamed endocrine system. Perhaps an allergy? Who knows. Benadryl seems to be helping with the itchy achey part. 

Mothering is really fun, sometimes. 

Mothering is really really hard work, sometimes. I have been humbled lately as each of my children have experienced, or are experiencing, frustrating trials that I feel I have exhausted all of my abilities and knowledge to help them endure. Just sitting by, watching them go through it, feels like I'm not doing my job. But I am at a loss as to how to help them.  Last night, I knelt in prayer with Aaron and we called upon God for help with these little children. 

The scripture Ether 12:27 promises that if I will be humble and have faith, weak things will become strong. 

"And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them."

I know the trials I face right now in mothering are not punishment from God. (Though it probably sounds like it sometimes as I lament to Him in prayer, "Why is this so hard? Why art thou doing this to me/them?") Rather, these challenging days are to humble me. I know I am a better mother today than I was 3 years ago because of trials.  I know I only got through those trials with divine assistance. I can thank those difficult times for bringing me closer to Christ, and helping me develop testimony of the enabling power of the Atonement. I suppose it will help me to find gratitude in the difficulties I'm facing with my little ones today. 

I also received a blessing of healing, and among other things, was blessed with "endurance to to bear disappointments". 

So that's what's on my mind today. I'm analyzing the things that aren't going the way I want, and pondering which things I have power to change vs which things I need to accept how they are, with gratitude. 

And I'm loading up on Benadryl. 

Peacemaker

This morning was a doozy in the Willardson home.  I should stop taking so much credit for mornings that run smoothly and wonderfully, because in turn I blame myself for the mornings that do not.  Corbin is on day three of a rough streak and is really struggling to be around other people without touching or hurting them. It is testing all of us and I admit that by 6:30 this morning my patience as a mother had already worn raw, and I took every little criticism or complaint as a bludgeon to my battered esteem. Corbin, on the other hand continued to spiral out of control in a tantrum on the stairs, losing privileges as fast as I was a losing hope for a happy morning. 

Quincy disappeared upstairs and returned to hand a note to Corbin, which he stopped his tantrum to read. 

Corbin, 

I still love you no matter what and I feel sad for you and I'm sorry you are having a hard time. 

Love, Quincy

And then she just hugged him. 

Unconditional love. Compassion.

Of all the people in my family, Corbin and Quincy butt heads 5 times the amout of any other contention in our home. I wondered what sparked this unprecedented desire for resolution. As if she had read my thoughts, Quincy said to me, "I think it was the Holy Ghost who promoted me to help Corbin." 

Quincy set a needed example for me, this morning. I wish I had remembered and chosen to listen for the Holy Spirit's guidance, show compassion, and love unconditionally. 

Great job being a peacemaker, Quincy!