October Garden Harvest

I neglected the garden in August. I should have watered and weeded but if was hot and dry and I didn't give it the attention it needed to really flourish. 

Is did get some autumn goodies picked before the hard freeze. I've got 6 tomatoes left in my fridge and I'm savoring every delicious bite. 

 

So many bell peppers! The reds are so sweet this year. Best I've ever grown.  Next year, I'll try to stay on top of the beetle population to get an autumn squash harvest. 

Fall Break 2017: Preparation

For fall break we headed north with big plans to see some church history sites, play (eat) Amish food in Jamesport Missouri, learn about pioneer life of the early saints in Illinois, and take a steamboat ride on the Mississippi River in Hannibal, Missouri where Mark Twain spent his youth. 

During the two weeks leading up to fall break, I prepped the children by picking up literature and media for everyone. We started listening to The Adventures of Tom Sawyer on audiobook in the car and we became experts at  speaking in drippy southern Mark Twain accents. There is a navigation app called Ways, where one can opt for their directions to be given to you by C3PO, a boy band, Mr T (I pity the fool who makes a u turn!), etc. we joked that Sam Clemens should be an option, and after that, anytime someone needed directions, we delivered them in overly descriptive southern drawls that rolled slowly off the tongue. Because getting directions from Mark Twain would be like using a thesaurus dredged in molasses. 

Everyone got an age appropriate history of Sam Clemens dose of Tom Sawyer, Becky Thatcher and Huckleberry Finn, and for the long drive we watched several film adaptations of the books. 

And this was super fun, I found a lego version of The Celebrated Frog of Calaveras County. Hilarious! Found here: 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=FXivgpLSQeo 

Two Family Home Evenings were devoted to the Joseph Smith Prophet of the Restoration film and a selection of other publications from the church video library. We read excerpts from Joseph Smith History and Doctrine and Covenants. 

For lodging, I booked the Marydale Inn b&b in Jamesport Mo, and the Nauvoo Family Cabins in Illinois. 

I studied a Sunday school lesson on Adam Ondi Ahman for a discussion there. 

I kept having this thought that I wish my nephews from California were coming with us on this trip, particularly Amy's oldest, Parker, who turns 18 in a couple weeks. I felt like I should call and invite them, but was hesitant because how likely is it to be able to pull the boys from school and put them on last minute flights to Missouri 4 days later? 

The feeling that I should invite them persisted, so the next day I followed the prompting and called my sister at 6am and told her age needs to send one or some of her boys out to join us. 

She said it sounded dreamy but obviously was highly impossible with all of their commitments and the expense. 

And then she called me the next day and said, "I coming. I'm booking flights for Parker, Tyler, and I.  We'll see you Saturday!" I did some last minute rearranging of cabin and inn reservations and it all worked out. Because of the trouble I ran into rearranging our reservations to accommodate 3 more people (we ended up calling a friend of the innkeeper  who has an air bnb) I ran out of time to read up on a few of our destinations, but we decided to wing it and play those stops by ear. It really was a great trip. I want to go back soon. So much more to do and see!

Halloween 2017

Oh Halloween, you lasted like 3 months long this year. Ha. It's been a nonstop costume party extravaganza up in here. Every night, after the kids are in bed, Aaron and I usually raid their candy. We glutton ourselves shrapnel and then pass out on the sofa, buried in candy wrappers. This year, I'm limited to eating a small selection (lol thanks for nothing, braces) but we're enjoying all the "adulting"  we're doing instead. 

1)Bradley's haunted forest and hayride 

2) Walmart home office trick or treating 

The line to get into the home office was also dressed up--as a mid-summer line for a Disney attraction! 1 hour wait had us like "no way" so we hit up the 608 building instead. No line, lots of candy, and done before the people who we just lining up to wait at the main Walmart entrance made it inside. Winning! 

3) town center field trip with Soren. It was freezing that day! 

4) sugar creek ward chili cook off and trunk or treat. I spent the day dying clothes green to make all of Quincys wildest dreams come e true. In the end she was thrilled and I felt like a pushover for not making her and Reese wear the Harry Potter robes they "had" to have for a birthday party in the summer, with the promise that they could use them again on Halloween. I can't believe I feel for it! Fool me twice, girls! Oh wait, you did, because in March we made poodle skirts with grandma Lynda for 50's day with the intention of you using the skirts again for Halloween. Again, nope. The girls needed to be something "original" for Halloween  and I bought into the excitement and spent a day driving to Halloween stores in Rogers, Springdale, and Fayetteville to find Q a green morph suit and fatigues. I ended up with a clearance brown camo top and some old cargo pants and dyed everything green. 

I had a fake beard and ax to wear, and chest hair drawn on my neck and aaron freaked out, "you can't go cross dressed at a church party!" 😂 I buttoned up my shirt and ditched the big beard in favor of mascara scruff on my face instead. It freaked Aaron out even more LOL. 

So I told my costume story to a friend when we arrived, and 30 minutes later, my name was called as a prize winner for "best attention to detail". Hahaha I was shoveling food in my face when they called my name and everyone turned around and looked at me, holding my soup bowl mid air to my face like "Wait. What?" Hahaha take that Aaron! My lumberjack chest hair won a prize! Burn!

Of course later, as I teased aaron, he got me back as he smiled and delightfully said YES to Soren when he asked for a balloon. (I totally hate helium balloons. They last forever, and then when they finally deflate, the kids panic when I try to throw them away)

And Aaron opened the back door to the van to reveal he had helped the clean up crew clear tables, and stuffed like 15 helium balloons into the van! He couldn't not laugh as he stared right at me and called out to Soren "I got ALL of these balloons for YOU to take home with you, buddy! You're welcome!" 

You're dead to me, Aaron! Hahahaha 

Here I am with Naomi W, Jill S, and Danielle P. I'm trying to look like a tough lumberjack, but in reality, I had just eaten and my braces were full of food so I kept my mouth closed for the pic hahaha.

5) Cooper class party time! 

Heaven bless Room Mothers.  

6) Primrose Lane Trick or Treating 

My parents teamed up with Durbin's with sloppy Joe's and chips, an outdoor movie going, and a hot cocoa bar for the neighborhood. This street. It's a slice of heaven. 

Friends and neighbors all worked up and down the street, and gathered on my parents and Durbin's driveways to visit. 

Where else in the world can you still get a homemade cookies and caramel apple in your Trick or treat bag and be allowed to eat them? Nita and Kathy had a table of wrapped homemade goodies for everyone. It was the cutest. 

Sloane got tired of her chicken costume and dragged it around over one shoulder. 

Comfort Food Season

They say the key factors in the Danish practice of Hygge are candles, coziness, and togetherness. I frequently keep a candle burning in my home, and a fire in the winter months, but if we had to do away with both of those elements and only offered homemade rolls as a replacement , I think the world happiness level would still blow Hygge off the charts. Why? Because bread is life and homemade bread is love.

My kids call these "Christmas Rolls" or "Thanksgiving Rolls" because that's about how often I have the energy to roll out 3 dozen  crescents. But tonight was special because we were feeding the Sister Missionaries, and we had invited some neighbor friends over for a "cottage meeting" style Family Home Evening lesson.  

At the last minute, our neighbors were unable to come, but my parents dropped by after being out early all day doing some service, and we invited them to stay.  

The kids were reverent during the lesson and everyone listened and participated. 

I repeat, all of the kids were reverent during the lesson and everyone listened and participated. 

It was sort of a miracle. 

We had a good discussion and even though it wasn't exactly how we planned our dinner party to turn out, we had a wonderful family night. And really, how can any night with fresh from the oven homemade rolls, end badly? These babies are individually hand dipped in butter.  Eat your heart out, Hygge. 

The One Where I Speak at the School Board Meeting

"My name is Megan Willardson. I am a Bella Vista resident of 12 years and a BUSD parent with children at Cooper, Barker, and Washington... and with two younger children at home, I will have children attending schools in this district until the year 2033.

If I were to walk in to a bank today and ask for a $1.8 million dollar improvement loan intended to be repaid over a 15 year span, the first things the loan officer would do are  check my income security, and ask what my plans are to pay back the loan.  A bank does not lend money based on verbal commitments for repayment.  

If the school district is going to fund this stadium proposal completion with a loan, then it needs to be treated like a loan, and we must make sure our sponsors agree to be contracted "debtors." 

Granting a loan makes Bentonville Unified School District a Financial lender.  We need to be a smart lenders and investigate the financial security of the borrowers. 

What is the backup plan if sponsors drop their contributions?  Are we willing and prepared to give this money away if if isn't repaid?  As a reminder, we already gave this project $2 million dollars of seed money, that could have been spent on other projects, like, say...an assistant choir director at the high school. This was only 12 weeks ago. We're talking 3.8 million dollars in 12 weeks, with zero discussion about how to secure repayment. 

As one of the many parents in this room acting as voluntary financial advisors, I urge you to either consider a different investment for district funds with more secure debtors, or give us some confidence in the borrowers commitment and require a consign from the athletic fund sponsors  willing to enter a contracted debt agreement for stadium completion.

I would love to see all of the sponsors who will be responsible for repaying the loan up here, making a plea for this cause, but not one of the sponsors are  even present in this meeting. Everyone WANTS the stadium tombs completed. We can all agree on this. It's the lack of responsibility attached to this loan that concerns me. A loan with no documented signature for financial responsibility is actually a gift. 

Finally, I implore the question: if we have suddenly 1.8 million dollars available for flex investing, are there more pressing ways our money could be spent?  A completed stadium will be wonderful. What I question is whether expediting it's completion is a higher priority than expediting the completion of any of the proposed schools that are on the 10 year plan. Stadium completion was left OFF the 10 year plan, and then 2 million dollars was gifted to the project. The stadium is not an emergency. 

 3.8 million dollars would go a long way to fix our transportation crisis. Give me 3.8 million and I will fix that disaster for you. 3.8m could fund half of the elementary school on Ford Springs Road that we have no financial plan for and will be asking the public to pay for in a millage no one will vote for because the lady millage freed up 3.8 million dollars that was irresponsibility spent on a press box with an elevator."

Obviously, the board passed the proposal with a 5-2 approval. 

For one hot second, I thought they might not though. Joe Quinn and Matt Burgess (the two dissenting votes) pressed hard that this is a facilities issue.   Willie Cowgur said that if he were a betting man, he would bet that the loan is repaid within 5-7 years by sponsors. Joe asked again how much sponsorship money we've got coming in and the coach said he's up to $120k/year. Last year it was only $50k (which is spoken for so we only have 70k available annually to make a $200k loan payment....ummmm anyone else see a math problem here? I wanted to stand up and call the national scholars back into the room and ask them to punch the numbers. To me, $70k/year is insufficient income to pay a $200k bill. But they promise the money will come in like monsoon rains once the stadium is complete. That is a fair gamble to take...but the backup plan is to use growth funds...which affects the 10 year budget. Which infuriates me that Dr Jones and Travis Riggs keep saying this doesn't affect the budget. It does if you touch the growth plans, Travis. 

Everyone also kept saying it's the right thing to do because the kids deserve this. That there is no community pride for athletes who have to compete in Tiger stadium. 

Tiger Stadium is beautiful. It's a 5+ million dollar athletic complex and it is truly spectacular. No, it does not say "wolverines" on the lockers and bleachers. But it's beautiful.  

Also part of the discussion: 

4 schools in BUSD do not have any fire sprinklers. Yup! 

No. Fire sprinklers. No air conditioning at 2 schools in any staff rooms or hallways. No weather awnings over the outdoor walkways for bus riders. 

Dr Jones had someone look up state fire code and clarify that sprinklers are not a mandated requirement, so it doesn't matter. The schools that want AC will need to "wait in line" for their facilities updates scheduled for year 2020-2023. 

Before I spoke, 2 bus drivers spoke, asking about the faculty salary raises. The district finally approved in the last meeting to give a 2.6% for all BUSD staff and faculty except classified bus drivers, because they were given a raise last year and as Dr Jones states, "we pay pur drivers plenty. It's well above the competitive average and if the drivers don't want the job they don't want the job. We don't have the funds to raise the pay again. 

It will only cost the district $32,000 to include ALL bus drivers in the pay raise. 

We can spend 3.8 million on a pressbox with an elevator, but not $30k on the employees who drive our children to and from school every day? And forget about fire sprinklers. That ridiculousness needs to "wait in line to be addressed." Does no one see a problem with priorities here? 

This sickens me. 

The whole meeting just made me feel sick. I don't want to go back. I didn't even want to go back to this meeting, but I felt like things needed to be said that aren't being said. 

Bentonville West will have a beautiful stadium and that is wonderful. 

Dr Jones' husband is a football coach at bentonville west. Hopefully, he enjoys his new office and feels the community pride that is a dire priority for our tax dollars. Hopefully the sponsors will come, and hopefully they triple, so the loan can be repaid and growth funds aren't used.  Hopefully, this "gift for the arts" will open our superintendents eyes that money spent on hiring now orchestra and an assistant choir director is also a good investment.  

Hopefully Travis Riggs gets his 6th concession window added so he doesn't have to wait in line so long for nachos next year. 

Hopefully those sweet bus drivers who are barely getting by don't leave BUSD for better paying CDL jobs at JB Hunt or Walmart. 

Hopefully, someone convinces Dr Jones to start a financial plan for schools on Ford Springs road before I give up and leave Bella Vista. 

And hopefully, I talk myself out of going to a school board meeting ever again. The last two were enough to make me feel like parent opinions don't matter.  

The Tin Grin is IN!

Here's the before. I actually don't mind my teeth. But I do have two trouble makers that are moving 20 years after having braces and they're starting all sorts of drama in my mouth and pushing everything else around. I often not to correct my horrible crossbite, because it's 2-3 years in full braces and rubber bands and I just don't care that my bottom jaw is shifted to the right. Not enough to spend money on it anyway.  

The crowding and movement, however, is causing a plethora of problems, so I'm stuck in braces for 6 months. Luckily, it's only a partial set that goes from bicuspid to bicuspid on top and bottom, leaving my molars alone, and therefore not costing us a thing after insurance and a small remainder from the HSA. 

But now I look like this. 

Pro tip: fastest way to "take 20 years off" is to break out on your chin, and get braces. I feel like a 13 year old! Hahaha. At least my Sunday school students will have a good laugh. 

When I got my hair cut last week, I asked my friend to clean/trim up my bangs a bit and she said, "oh no...I can't let you have braces AND bangs at the same time! What are you trying to relive the most ugly awkward years of your life?!"  

I need #Awkward on a sweatshirt. Make it oversized one, please, so I can wear it with stretchy pants when I become too reclusive to leave the house. 

Soren says "I don't like your face with those bracelets on it!"  

Neither do I, son! 

Here's to 6 months of empathy for teenagers. 

And lots of flashbacks. 

Craft Fairs

It's craft fair weekend. And by weekend, I mean month, because there has been a craft fair every weekend this month. 

The Junk Ranch

Vintage Market Days

Here, I saw Jessa and Jana Duggar. These women are so...lovely. They are kind and joyful and it's just a pleasure to see such wonderful women out in the world. They exude beauty inside and out. It's not tv editing folks, Duggar girls legitimately are certain women. They're delightful. 

Spanker Creek Craft Fair

FYI- peanut brittle just isn't the same when you've got a mouth full of fresh metal. I popped a sample in my mouth, forgetting my current orthodontic predicament, and then had a laugh when I realized I couldn't chew! These braces...they're like a rotten diet! 

Sloane didn't last long, and my mouth was begging for ibuprofen anyway, so I headed out pretty quickly, with little Sloanie screaming at top decibel the whole stroller ride back toward the car. We joked that by the glares and unsolicited parenting tips from the judging ladies we passed on our way out of the fair regarding Sloane's very high pitched vocal alarm that she was done, that the ladies must have assumed by my braces that I'm a teen mother. Hahaha! 

Other than a jar of pear butter for a bunco prize (I'm hosting in November), a dip mix for the holidays, and a mini pumpkin for Soren and Sloane at the Junk Ranch, I didn't buy anything at any of the fairs. It's super fun to walk around and get cute decorating ideas though. I think I need to make a little Christmas tree farm sign...and maybe someday plant a Christmas tree farm. Because how fun would that be?  

My Pink!

Sloanie loooooves pretty things. On Sunday she asked for “my pink” sparkly toenails and fingernails. Pink thinks are not just pink, they are “my pink”. This little lady is keeping me young lately! 

Block Party on Primrose Lane: Chili, Stew, and A Movie, Too!

40 neighbors of primrose lane got together at my parents’ house Friday Night for a chili potluck and an outdoor movie. Huge shout out to my parents for hosting such a fun gathering. We watched Dennis the Menace, and it was never decided which of the 20+ neighborhood kids is Dennis and which of the retired guys is the Mr Wilson of Primrose Lane.  This neighborhood is so wonderful.  I love the friendships and memories for my children, and the caring community of faith and friendship that we share.  

It’s just a really special place to live and raise a family. 

After the movie, I stayed to help clean up, and came inside to my crew asleep in my parents living room. Corbin! Haha! What a fun night. 

This is Foster Care

As I dramatically tiptoed out of the master bathroom to slip into bed as quietly as possible,  the tiny noises of my own movements became a mocking laughter as they echoed around in the unoccupied space of the empty crib in the corner of my room. No one is sleeping there, tonight.

I do not need to tiptoe

I do not have a baby here any more.

It's awful and weird. It is hard when friends and family who never met him see us and think we are a complete set, or talk like he never happened, or that this was just a temporary task or crusade that is done.  We were eight. They don’t understand that we are not seven and we sheepishly have no rights or means to explain the parts they missed.  

But the hardest is when I forget. Not that he was here, but that he isn’t still here. I panicked at the playground last week when I glanced over at our picnic blanket and spun in a circle surveying the grass and bark chips of the park with “where’s my baby?!” and only a blink later, remembered and wonder how I could forget, again, that he isn't even here? 

Here I am on a Saturday night, wondering that again. My carefully quiet tiptoe dance through my bedtime routine suddenly feels like an awkward exhibition.  And even though no one was even there to catch my silly routine, I feel vulnerably spotlighted and silly, and shamefully stupid for forgetting that I am, in fact tiptoeing for no one.  My face is hot with embarrassment. 

Oh how I miss the fuzzy head and tiny dark brown eyes of the lightest sleeper ever born. He was my biggest fan. He was my bedside audience who never got enough of my company. 

I don't need to tip toe any more. I can brush my teeth with the bathroom door open and turn on the light and actually flush when I get up to pee in the middle of the night. I can pray out loud next to my bed instead of in my closet. I can open my squeaky dresser drawers. I can use a bedside lamp and read in bed.   It feels awkward to forget I can do those things now. Like I've stepped out onto a stage to perform the act I've practiced and prepared so many times before, only  to be met with empty seats and dead air in the theatre when the curtain rises.  

I am so sad this show is over.  It had a 10+ month run. Every single day was a "hell week" frenzy of trying to catch up. But I played the part with everything I had, and after plenty of bad reviews from critics who shared their opinions---though I never set out to impress them anyway---It's curtain call and the only applause I wish to hear is from a baby who still hasn't developed the ability to clap. The room, the crib, and my arms are heavy with empty.

An empty-full. So full I'm weighed down to breaking, aching, bursting, cheering, cracking, shouting, weeping, melting, grieving love.  

I am so heavy-empty-full of love.  

I exit the stage and take my seat. I will be in the audience for a season, comforting the tender young hearts in my home while they grasp an understanding of the scene change. I am watching and cheering and hoping and always wondering about that alternate ending, and waiting for call backs to play the role again.