I Confess...

Sometimes, I get mad or upset and have a difficult time letting it go and moving on.

When this happens, Aaron turns on Wipeout, then sits back, and waits.

I sit there, fuming, and insist his plan isn't going to work.

But it's like a train wreck can't not watch
and I can't not laugh.
So then I get even more mad at Aaron for using a cheap tv show to make me not mad at him.

But then someone gets nailed in the head with a foam propeller and I can't stop laughing.
and Aaron congratulates himself on another victory.

Thanks, Wipeout.

Point: Facebook

I Confess:
The #1 reason I keep my facebook account active is so I can ask people to call me when I lose my phone. This happens at least once every two to three weeks.

I Confess:
Yeah, that last one is a lie. I solicit the help of Facebook friends to help me find my phone at least once every week. Sorry Friends.

Sometimes, buried treasure should just stay buried.

Tonight is our Relief Society meeting for home, family, and personal enrichment.

The theme is "buried treasure" and everyone is supposed to bring 5 things that represent our hidden talents.

At first, I was like, I LOVE this idea! It is always fun to learn new things about people you know really well, and it's a good opportunity to get to know some new girls that I don't get to talk to very often.

But hidden talents? I'm not really one to keep many things secret about myself, so this was a bit of a challenge. What are my hidden talents???

Um let's see...

1) being a lazy schlub (<---did you catch that, Angie?). I haven't washed my hair since Sunday. Sunday! And no, this isn't one of those blogs that I typed up 3 days ago and scheduled to post today. It's Thursday. So, I pretty much rock at being gross. It's the whole "don't wanna work out cuz then I have to get off my butt and go change into workout clothes" thing...but backwards. Don't wanna get dressed, cuz then I won't wanna go run with my night group after enrichment, tonight. Hidden talent? Maybe. Are my friends reading this? I'll be the one that shows up to enrichment tonight dressed like Sue Sylvester.

Don't sit too close to me. I stink.

2) Freak Magnet. This is a divine gift that I've been blessed with. They come to me in flocks. Old ladies want to tell me about their recent surgeries and difficulty urinating. If only I had one of those giant U shaped magnets to take tonight...I could stick the word "Freak" to it and call it good.

which leads to my next hidden talent:

3) writing about my run ins with the freaks on this here blog. It's good for a laugh, that's a hidden talent, right? The problem is that I'm supposed to bring something tangible that represents my buried treasures. Is there anything LESS tangible than a blog? I think not. Perhaps all of my blogging has been a waste of time...sort of like how you are feeling while reading this post. You'll never get those 5 minutes back. Sorry. There's still time, if you stop now, you can save yourself!

Ha. You're still reading. Who's the freak magnet, now suckahs?

4) The super powered nose. Both a curse and a blessing. Hidden Talent? I can sniff out a chocolate bar a mile away, man. My nose is awesome.

A few weeks ago, I went to my friend, Tia's, and when she opened her front door, I said, "are you cooking rice?"
I was still outside and I could smell rice cooking in her kitchen.
Unfortunately, I can also smell a fart from a mile away. And I am totally aware of how bad I smell right now. (see talent #1)
But you don't have to have a super powered nose to smell that.

5) speaking of farts...(yes, really. I warned you to just stop reading. You didn't listen.)I should just take a bag of beans tonight for my "talent". My friend, Hillary, calls me the "bean whisperer" because of all my bean recipes...at least I THINK it's because of my bean recipes, but the name "bean whisperer" is probably because she's been running with me before, and she didn't have any music to drown out my my sound effects.

There.
Do you feel like you know me better?
What? Too much?

I so don't have any friends left.

So those are my five "buried treasures".
What are yours?

Do You...

Ever have the kind of day where your purse/diaper bag is so dirty/full of crap that you'd rather just get a new one than clean it out?

I kind of feel like that about my whole house, today.

Dear Aaron,
You're wearing your last clean pair of socks, this morning. Let's move. And buy more socks.

Hugs,
Wifey.

Thumbody to Love

Ok, Moms.
Quincy sucks her thumb when she sleeps.
It doesn't totally bother me, as she isn't the kid who has her thumb in her mouth 24/7, but I also don't want her to be the 10 yr old that still sucks her thumb. I also haven't really found a solution that I'm really happy with to help her to stop this habit. I'm not really in a rush to help her stop, or anything, since it currently doesn't interfere with her ability to do anything.

But it's also one of those "first time" parenting issues where all the seasoned mothers and grandmothers tell me, "don't worry about it. When she's ready, she'll stop on her own." and all the mothers my own age tell me things like, "I sucked my thumb until I was 9, and it took years to fully kick the habit" and "My college roommate still sucks her thumb.", or "I got held back in Kindergarten because I couldn't write and suck my thumb in class at the same time."
Quincy rarely sucks her thumb unless she is going to sleep or watching tv, but still...that last one freaks me out, a little.

Thumbsucking.

Advice, suggestions, verbal abuse...

Let's hear 'em.

what's the rush?

You know those days when you get to the checkout line and the kids are just done?

Yeah, that happened to me yesterday, and yes, it is the week of Thanksgiving and there were only 2 lanes open at Wal-mart. I stood in line behind a procession of blue hairs, each with a Thanksgiving feast and a too-heavy bag of kitty litter in their cart and armed with a pocketbook of coupons. My kids were crying, fighting, screaming, etc. and the line was. not. moving.



Excruciating.



The best part? I forgot baby wipes. The store near my house is particularly terrible with replenishment, and they've been out of the wipes I use for 3 consecutive weeks. It didn't matter until this week, as I used my last wipe this morning.



So it wasn't really awesome when I got home, realized I'd forgotten the wipes, and had to go scrounge up the "emergency" travel pack of wipes from the car.



I also forgot to buy a new toothbrush, since mine had been dipped into the toilet by Corbin. I'd like to think optimistically and see this as a sign that he will be an excellent cleaner, someday.

But instead, I just think, "Hey! that's my toothbrush, man! What the heck?"



So....back to Wal-mart we went, this morning, where even more people were shopping, and again, we found ourselves waiting in a ridiculously long line. There were several registers open this time, but only to accomodate several more shoppers. I noticed that each line had at least

three blue hairs waiting in it! That's gotta be breaking some kind of record for most old people congregated in the same room since they stopped having Bingo night at Riordan Hall.



Today's checkout line adventure involved a changing of the guard. It took forever. As I stood there, actually feeling the hairs on my head turn grey, I started to wonder if time had frozen, and all of these people were actually the same people that were in line with me yesterday. Oh, man! Look what was going to happen to me, if I didn't get out of there, soon!



When I'd [finally] made it through the checkout and loaded my groceries and kids into the car, a sweet little old granny approached us. But then she didn't say anything.



"Uhhh, hi. Can I help you?" I asked.



"Oh dear. I've really done it this time." she was almost shaking with worry, and looked on the verge of tears. Grandma tears. Can you imagine anything more sad? Grandmas shouldn't ever have to cry.



"What's the matter?"



"Well, I know I drive a Toyota. And I know it is somewhere in this giant parking lot."



Poor Grandma. Who knows how long she'd been looking for her car. I thought I was exhausted, after waiting in that forever-of-a-line with my crying kids, but at least I'm young and healthy. She'd been standing in a line, too, listening to the same kids whining, and then she'd searched the parking lot over, and couldn't find her car. She was embarrassed and tired, and just wanted to get the heck out of there. I cruised around the parking lot and located her car (she was way off in her search, btw), she thanked me, and the day continued on as normal.

* * *

Last night, I couldn't get a hold of my friend on her cell phone, and I got really antsy. I wanted to see if she'd like to catch the 8pm showing of Harry Potter, and it was 6:45. What if she didn't call me back? It's a cell phone. She should answer it, right? I found myself actually worried that something was wrong, since she didn't answer her phone right when I called. It was only 15 minutes before she called be back, but in the meantime, I thought of 10 reasons why she wasn't answering, and had almost decided to do the movie another night.



Look at how impatient I've become.



Our society is so full of instant gratification, that it put me over the edge just to stand in line to buy groceries. Just like I can get online and watch my favorite shows at the click of a button, instantly download a song I want to listen to right now, I want to snap my fingers and be at the front of a line to get my groceries. I don't want to wait for anything anymore. I've even caught myself telling my girls to "hurry and get your shoes on", "let's go, let's go, let's go...hurry and get in the van", "hurry and get buckled quickly", "hurry and get your jammies on", "hurry and finish your dinner", "hurry and brush your teeth (and should that really be rushed?)", granted they can really be slowpokes and they do get distracted easily, but I say "Hurry" way too many times in any given day. What's the rush?

What is so important that I need to put my kid into a panic over putting shoes on fast enough?


All of these old people at Wal-mart, they were buying tons and tons of food. Huge turkeys, appetizers galore, pies, enough booze to cure any amount of social discomfort caused by family togetherness. No doubt, they are preparing for their incoming families.


Uhhh...Shouldn't their kids be taking care of that? I mean, if you're old enough to lose your car in the parking lot, and have difficulty remembering what kind of car you drive, you probably shouldn't be driving at all. You should be home, in a plastic covered barker lounger, having your feet rubbed by grandkids, while your own kids prepare Thanksgiving Dinner.



It's no wonder all these people take their sweet time in the grocery store. They are tired! They probably rushed their kids around and hurry hurry hurried everyone to everything for years, and for what?There's got to be a time when it's ok to just kick back, and enjoy the time in your life when you don't have to do anything, or be anywhere. Looking at all those tired grandmas buying turkeys today, It's clearly not when your hair is blue, so when is it? Does it end with childhood? My poor kids don't even have that, the way I rush them around.



This week, I am grateful for time.

Time at home with my children. It won't be long before they have places to go, and people of their own to feed. And I'll be the one alone in a parking lot, trying to find my "silver Toyota Avalon...or is it white?"



I will not rush my children, this week. I will let my kids be kids and they can take their own sweet time doing all of their little tasks...even if it seems like it is taking them forever.

Because as hard as I try to speed up time to pass over an undesireable phase, or freeze time to capture a tender moment of perfection, turn back time to remember a simpler day, or slow time down because they are growing too fast, I know it can't be done.



So, I will "exercise my patience", this week. Rather than rushing and hurring, I'll try to remember that what feels like is taking forever isn't forever.

I will not be in this grocery store line forever.

My kids won't be this age forever.

It will not be impossible to find the other shoe forever.



I will enjoy the wait.

Meg vs Facebook

Let's talk facebook.

First, Facebook ads.
Does this picture really make anyone want to go back to college?

'Cuz I think I'd rather not be seated next to that dude.
I think that dude is the reason I carry pepper spray when I walk to my car after class.
Yeah. I do that.
Maybe it's scare tactic. Like, "Hey loser, finish college or you'll end up working with carnies!"
I think it only motivates me to look into independent study.

Next, Facebook Friends.
Are you a choosy friend-er?
Do you friend everyone, secretly hoping to have more friends than CJane?
Do you friend, then secretly unfriend later, and hope they don't notice?
Do you segregate friends into lists of who can see status updates and who can't?
Do you say yes to all friend requests, but give them one and only one shot not to annoy you, then hit the hide/ignore/delete/unfriend/ignite button the second they blow it by posting a photo of their cat wearing suspenders or start making requests for their Lil' Green Patch?

Third, Facebook Status Updates.
Do you have rules? You know, like do you update according to a self-set calendar (daily, monthly, hourly, mood-ly, crazy guy cut you off in the parking lot-I should post about it-ly)
Should status updates serve a purpose? Express your mood? Tell about accomplishments? Share exciting news? Tell us when you pooped last?
Must the status update be funny?
Is venting via status update acceptable?

It's confession time.

Facebook.
Do you love it?
Hate it?
Want to marry it?
Spend too much time on it?
Wish you had more FB friends to give you chickens for your farmtown/farmville/farm-a-licious island?

I can't wait to read the responses.