Owls would be easier.

I'm sorry Dorothy.
It appears another one of the Horcruxes you left behind has been destroyed.
The Willy mailbox was in bad shape.
Literally.
Let's go over a few things that I will not miss:
-The base. Because why put cement in the ground, when you can take an old milk can, fill it with cement, and fashion a new lid.
-the plywood lid. Jes. It is held down with wire hangers.
-the newspaper box. We do not subscribe to the paper.
-the dent. My first clue that Carl should not be driving. A month after we moved in, he backed into the mailbox. Flattened it. I was stoked. A new mailbox was officially bumped to the top of the "Honey Do" priority list for the house! Let's get diggin'!

No such luck, Carl was outside in the snow, pounding out the dent (not very well, as you can see from the finished product below), and repainting it with a different shade of black than was previously used. It never closed the same again, and after that incident always required two hands to close correctly (and avoid finding the mail blown about in the street).

But yesterday my dream came true.
Even though Aaron was fighting a cold, he set up a new mailbox for me.

Pretty. What a perfect gift. I love it!

Dorothy,
We have been busy. You don't have many horcruxes left in this house anymore. May your strength be weakened with the knowledge that a portion of your soul will be crushed by a garbage truck on Thursday. Perhaps now, we will finally go a full week without getting any of your mail. But, until we meet again,
Avada Kedavra!

Your mailbox was unforgiveable.

This is getting ridiculous.

In yesterday's mail:
Looks like we'll be receiving both American Cheerleader AND EBONY magazines through the month of October. Any predictions as to what subscription will arrive in November? I'm hoping for something I might actually read, like Cottage Living, or even Parent's would at least be useful.

"Call Me! On the line, Baby, Call Me Call Me Anytime..."

Special Delivery...
Another phone book!

Inside every man there is a 14 old girl trying to get out.

Ok maybe not. But we've somehow gotten ourselves on magazine trial list. We have received 4 issues of EBONY magazine, addressed to Aaron Willardson Walmart Snacks.
EBONY. REALLY.
Because every Salty Snack Buyer really wants to read about "how many calories are in that mojito".

Aaron didn't believe me that they were actually addressed to him and thought it was a joke.
The mailbox was visited by Alicia Keys, Michelle O, Jada Pinkett-Smith, and then Whitney.

This month our free mail has gone a little more vanilla...

That's right. American Cheerleader.
Now Aaron can read his Cheer-O-Scope, and brush up on his "Liberty Grip, Double Down Cradle, and Tuck Arch Basket Toss".

what. the. heck.

and
TWO DAYS LATER...
Another issue!

This one featuring the "Team Twilight Article where Ashley Greene dishes on her vampy life"

Lucky us.

My niece is a frosh cheerleader-Tay, they're all yours...and you're gonna want them, cuz according to this week's Cheer-O-Scope, "...a new love possibility shows up in late October".

Don't You Just Love It When...

...someone stops by your house to get the mail that you've been picking up for the past week, and that's when you remember that you were supposed to be picking up their mail for the past week?


Neighbor of the Year.
(sorry Carl. I'm on very little sleep.)

"Call Me! On the Line Baby Call Me, Call Me Anytime..."

Ding Dong!

What's this??!!

Another surprise visitor?

An unexpected package?

Publisher's Clearing House?

Nope.
Just another phone book!

"Call Me! On the Line, Call Me, Call Me, Any Anytime"

Last week we had a suspiciously fast knock on the door, followed by a doorbell ring (in spite of my "sleeping babies" sign taped OVER the ringer) in the middle of the day.

Oooh! YAY! Is it a mystery treat delivery? A Secret Santa? The postman delivering a Christmas package? I love presents! The suspense was killing me...

Away to the window
I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash (ok mini blinds)

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave a lustre of mid-day to objects below,

When, what to my wondering eyes did appear,
But another PHONE BOOK
mocking my gift-hungry cheer.

And not just one this time, but two!
Whyyy? Why two? To keep at opposite ends of the house and minimize the extra walking hassle? Honestly, if you are already going to the trouble to get up and search through the zillion pages of the phone book to find a phone number (which I do MAYBE twice a year, if that) how hard is it to walk across the house the the location of the phone book, and open it up? Must a phone book be stored next to every phone in the house?

Done. We have one phone.

How often are business changing their phone numbers? We get a new phone book every couple of months around here. I feel bad just throwing the old ones away. How sad for anyone paying for an AD in the phone book, they have to be ridiculously expensive, and then people only have a chance to see the ad for like 12 weeks before they get another phone book on their doorstep and the old one goes in the trash. What a waste of paper, money, manpower...whoever delivers these bad boys must be really strong. The way "neighborhoods" are set up around here, they probably don't even finish delivering one set of books, before it is time to hand out the next.

Ok, crazy post I know....but consider this. How many phone books must I be receiving to feel the need to make a post?

Why don't I show you?
Behold, our current phone book crop. I decided to start saving them...just so you could see how ridiculous this is. It didn't take long to acquire enough to prove my point.

SEVEN phone books.
...and they keep coming all year long!

It's not even January. How many more phone books are in production just to celebrate the new year? Does anyone else have this problem? Or do the phone book people just really like the aesthetics of my ghetto un-landscaped front yard? Are there less armadillo-dug dirt piles to trip over in my lawn than others? Maybe they just can't get away from astroturf covered front step? Need another look at the beautiful lady who answers the door?

You may have noticed I often end incomplete posts with "more to come"...but rarely actually follow through with "more to come". This time I'm pretty sure that in 12-14 weeks there should be "more to come". At least to my house.

And what's with the 'tiny phone book'? Is that supposed to be for your car? Like if you get lost in the middle of nowhere?

Dear Phone Book Makers for Northwest Arkansas
News Flash: If you get lost in Northwest Arkansas, not only is there a pretty good chance that there is a whole lot of NOTHING and even more NOBODY around to come rescue you, there is also 100 pefcent chance that you actually are "in the middle of nowhere" and there is a ZERO percent chance I have enough service on my cell phone to call anyone in my handy phone book for help. Are you at all familiar with the term Ozarks? I think it is Native American for "turn off the paved road" or "yeah, those directions I gave you were WAY off... sorry about that" or "I'm sure there's a backway that'll git you there faster"...

For the next 365 days please keep additional phone books out of sight
Happy Christmas to all and to all a good night!