There are so many changes in downtown Bentonville but one thing that has stayed the same is Pickin on the Square. I love the nostalgia and I love seeing musicians young and old playing together. Yay community!
We joined Kasey for a n evening walk. I love me some sisters who are also best friends.
The Sugar Creek Showdown was 1,000 degrees. Soren killed it out there!
Aaron is SO funny. If you don’t know how hilarious he is, you don’t know him well. He makes me laugh every day. People say our kids get their quirks from me, but they probably got the straight up weirdo gene from me. Aaron is respectfully quirky. Like he always has a banana peel on the back of his FJ. Whyyyyyy? Just throw it away? I don’t know. It’s weird. It’s a thing. It’s and aaron quirk.
His reef sandals (the Californian in him will insist that you DONT CALL THEM FLIP FLOPS) broke and he refuses to replace them. He just fixes them with a butter knife every time he wears them and then one of them inevitable ends up flopping around. (Haha the irony. Flopping?!) let em go, Willardson. Ya need some new Reefs. He stubbornly insists No! They’re mine! Like. Toddler gripping to a disgustingly well lived security blanket. It’s a bit now and it’s hysterical. I love him.
My parents are coming back to Arkansas soon. I’ve tried to devote an hour or two each day getting their yard and home ready to welcome them. My boys have maintained the lawn, but the flower beds became overgrown and unmanageable during the hot summer months and I neglected them. I need to tend my yard as well…it all looks pretty dreadful, but one space at a time. My moms is looking so much better already. This space was waist high in weeds. Some fresh mulch will help. I cleared the other bed that was equally bad yesterday. Hopefully I can get to it all before they arrive this weekend!
I did a thing and purchased about 100 tulip bulbs for my vegetable beds. I got early, mid, and late spring blooms and in March I hope have bouquets on bouquets. I don’t know anything about flower gardening. Like at all really. But hopefully Spring Meg will be grateful. Now to clear out my dead vegetables and gather time and energy to plant them all!
When you’re gone or distracted all of July and actually gone all of August, your garden does not get watered. I harvested what I could of my tomatoes this week, made some aoli and indulged in the best sandwich. I wish summer didn’t end for this reason alone. This sandwich. If you’re a sandwich person come over. Except I’m out of tomatoes. Bring those. I will feed you. This one was so good I texted a photo of it on the family chat. I could have wept over its perfection. Wait am I still going on and on and on over a sandwich? Absolutely I am.
Dental work for Reese in Utah and checkups for the twins this week. I don’t know what everyone’s smiling about…Cavities for everyone. Several. Soren and Sloane also have fillings scheduled to be filled in October. Reese texted “I’m never eating sugar again.” She takes excellent care of her beautiful teeth, and I have been super diligent about the younger kids brushing. I think we just have unfortunate dental genes. My siblings all teeth that are actually crumbling in their 50s. Not really looking forward to that 🫠. One nice thing is that the twins love going to their dentist. They see a pediatric dentist and it’s a day spa experience. There was once a time that often involved hysterics and hiding or refusing to get in the car, and appointments required prepping with hydroxyzine and packing weighted blankets and sensory vests, and receiving laughing gas at the dentist to get them to go. It is a tender mercy that now they look forward to it and go in happily!
Esme loves violin lessons and has picked up bow hold and posture quite naturally. Let’s hope this ease trends for a long time for her! She’s doing great.
Sunday was hard. Awful actually.
PTSD is hard.
Maybe it’s because big sisters aren’t home. Maybe it’s the season changing. I don’t know. I think maybe the trigger was when Aaron mentioned to the family on his way out the door that it was fast Sunday. It was just as a kind reminder, but minutes later Bear snapped. Totally Unglued. Unrecognizable child and my heart aches for him that early childhood trauma has created an actual change in his brain that can have such a large and lasting effect. So our day began with a very violent nonverbal little person who couldn’t get out of his lower brain. I exercised every tool and skill I have and still ended up having to call aaron to come home from bishopric meeting to help with our other children (Who were reacting in their own ways. Their point of reference as siblings matters and affects their individual responses significantly) while I helped Bear regulate. My own nervous system was already depleted though and it made for a difficult day. I can’t believe I did this every day for years. How did we survive as a family? And how did our case worker ever think that any other scenario would be better for him? It is so obvious to me that it would have been detrimental, catastrophic even, to send these beautiful and emotionally broken children to another family at any point during their time in foster care. This is Herculean work. I will own that I only did it because I had God’s help. I reflect on the many miracles we witnessed and I believe I can expect more miracles for them in the future. Sunday was so hard and so exhausting but we get up Monday and keep on because there is still healing work to be done and so much love needed to give.
Aaron and I traded roles after 90 minutes and I took rest by taking the other children to church. My heart sank when our row was occupied. This place to sit doesn’t need to be a thing, but it is. “Our” pew at church became a source of stability for several of us after the house fire and some ward boundary reassignments. When I asked my children how they were adjusting, a month or so after the last boundary change, one thing many of them mentioned and appreciated was the security and familiarity of our back pew. It’s a little thing, but it is a holy space that provided them with belonging, ownership, and comfort. Lately, some of us have been asked to relocate and give the row up for another family with multiples who I’m sure mean well but just don’t know our story or how palpable the emotional need for territorial security is for some of us. And honestly I don’t know them well so I can only assume that their need is as significant as ours. And it’s probably time for us to learn to adjust. But every time we’ve been asked to move it is just the worst and I have to spend sacrament in the hall.
This was one of those Sundays I just wanted to file into our spot and breathe.
To be fair, how could anyone but my own children know I was spent from holding a child that morning to keep him from hurting himself. I have some enormous bruises on my body this week to remind me of how hard Sunday morning was.
I found us a spot next to the Johnsons and steeled myself for the after math with my few who have a pretty low window of tolerance for change when it comes to certain things. Sundays were “forced DCFS visit day” for the twins and our whole family spent 2 years of traumatizing horror every Sunday. Just making it to church and plopping down in that row offered all of us critical rest from our labors. Some might even notice that we often sit in the same order even on the pew: Bear, Aaron, Esme Meg Quincy, [Reese] Corbin, Soren, Sloane.
The meeting was rough but we made it. After church I found several selfies like this on my phone and it gave me life. I was preoccupied with other kids, but now I see that at least one of my kids had a super great sacrament meeting! Hallelujah.
We went for a family walk Sunday night so Sloane could find nurse logs and document them for an assignment. It started out ok.
By the end…💀 we are that family that can’t go for a walk. Our normal is one child pushing another off the slide and while we assess if the arm landed on is broken (it’s not!) another child takes their shoes and launches them into the woods, then bolts. Did everyone take crazy pills this week? It feels like it. We laughed a lot and wept a lot about the madness of our season. 🤪 Here we are, take it or leave it (but take it. We are crazy but we are also awesome)
Speaking of walking…that was a leisurely “togetherness” walk.
I’m also on a walking-for-fitness streak and walked 5x this week. Some alone on the trails, some a spontaneous meet up with Nicole S, some planned with Robyn and Tiffany, and a last minute “wanna walk? Let’s walk!” With Kasey and Sloane and Esme after we volunteered recruiting people at the For the Love Community Night for SHP Bunks across America
I love the trail systems and all the art here!
Corbin and I launched his fundraiser to pay for his spring orchestra trip. It’s much smaller than San Diego was last year, so thankfully we only need to make 40 pans, vs the 80+ pans we did last year! In less than 24 hours since posting, I think there are 20 pans spoken for already. So far, so good!
We bid Ryan the turtle farewell this week. My friend Robbie teaches at CES and is delighted to have a new class per. The twins pop in and say hi each day. He was so cute and also smelled if his tank wasn’t changed often. I’m relieved to not have that on our chore/to do list any more. But he also was the coolest pet.
All the walking and yard work has given me an opportunity to listen to some conference talks, follow him podcast, and books. I feel like an actual grown up with time to relax. (Not me blogging at 1:15am bc I just got off the phone with Ryan then Q then a text thread with Reese. Crickets all day sometimes, but grateful to hear from all 3 of them and happy to get out of bed and get a late night recap of the day from my favorite young adults.
But now I have listening time during the day so I can read books or something so I’m doing that again. Here’s the dark and twisty psychological thriller I just [listened to] read. It was good. Not a genre I’ve tried before and not sure I’ll pick up another any time soon, but fun for Autumn to read something a bit spooky. Heads up it was a little PG-13.
The big girls and I started this during the drives on our trip. Great book. WWII, sisters, navigating loss and complicated relationships, motherhood, humanitarian aid, sacrifice, and survival.
Let Them—this was recommended by many. I appreciate Mel Robbins’ ideas and also don’t like super duper love everything she says. This book is kind of podcast-ey. And outside an occasional gospel study podcast, I think I’m just not really a podcast person. Some takeaways I pondered are
1) using the Let Them Theory (you can only control you and let others/them do whatever they’re gonna do) with family is extra critical bc family have a stake in everyone’s life’s successes.
2) Any change you make makes positive or negative waves through the interconnected family web system. Imagine a big spiderweb with water droplets all over it. We can’t tap on
One side of the web and not expect water to fall off in other parts. It’s interconnected. Know and accept that actions that we make tap the wet web -not necessarily right it’s just reality. Create space for both opinions to be true and remember that both negative AND positive actions affect the web. We can “let them” and still make the web stronger through our own personal righteous decisions.
School picture day proofs. What a cutie.
After Corbin’s success securing a date to HOCO, it’s been a steady trickle of Steezy Boys over here for late night poster making and pun plotting. I’ve been volunteered as bubble letter writer and Landon W, Chase W, and Ammon have all been over here with markers and bubble letter requests.
Cute scenes from last Saturday with the kids.
SBO feels pretty different this year. Still great, just different. I do miss hanging out with Marcie, Amy, Nikki, and Jerushia. We could laugh and talk for days so it was a social outlet for me as well. I addressed the crowd for a moment at the mandatory parent meeting and then dashed out early to make it to a soccer game. Or XC meet. I don’t even remember. Oh September, you’re a busy one!
More mission calls! Josh is going to serve in Ogden, Utah! Way to go Josh!
Corbin, Landon W, Josh, Richard A, Roman M, and “Gordy” (Jackson G)
Josh joined us for Sunday dinners several times over the summer and after rolling his pickup, made a habit of calling to keep him awake at the wheel during his weekly commute from summer sales in Tulsa. He’s a helpful kid and is first to volunteer to haul bins up to the attic or take out the trash any time he’s at our house. We’re so excited for his decision to set aside personal affairs and go serve the Lord.
I gave the missionaries, Rhett, and Capra haircuts last week. It’s sweet when Quincy’s pals come around even though she’s at school.
Quincy and a roommate Allie met Bear Bachmeier and he took this selfie with them at the last home game.
Soren with buddies Lalo C and Lucas A at the Shiloh Christian XC meet. Soren is getting faster and faster!
Good Luck Bear
Soren and Reesevstarted this puzzle weeks ago and the triple threat finally buckled down and helped me finished it the other night. They said “music and a puzzle? New candle? Feels like fall!”
This is marketing genius. I didn’t buy but I think they’re so cute and brilliant.
Sloane face times with Reese.
Peep Sloane in science class
Someone is sooo funny! This new dryer ball appeared during our Switzerland trip 💀
I ran into an old preschool student! Hi Rye! He’s nearly as tall as I am!
These big girls! I snapped these before they left. We spent a lot of time (especially late late at night) hanging out up in their room. It is eerily empty now and I don’t love that.i sure love these beautiful faces though abd water to save the pics because they are just shots from every day life
Elder Bingham gave his homecoming talk.
We have been neighbors! We’ve lived next to the Fausts for as long as we’ve been on primrose Lane. My kids grew up alongside Emma, Jacob, and Sawyer and we will miss them! Soren and Saw were still babies! So many memories, especially snow days…here are a couple throwbacks. Best wishes Faust Fam!
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