Reese and Quincy babysat in the nearby stake center while Aaron and I were in the temple. The children describe the highlights as: getting dropped off with happy meals, playing with bubbles, and being out of the car. The lowlights were the triplets all pooping, the girls realizing they were locked out of the van and had no diapers. The front window of the van was down, so they got into the van that way, but then the car alarm went off and some strangers hollered “hey! What are you doing?” (Well intended, I’m sure) and freaked them out, so they rolled up the window, and ran back into the church, but forgot the diapers and locked themselves out again. At this time, Reese had already removed and thrown away one of the poopy diapers, and with nothing to put back on Adrian, she was so worried he would poop or pee on the churc carpet, that the girls took turns entertaining the triplets (two still poopy with mysterious blueish-black diahrreah poop from Corbin’s birthday cake frosting) in the tiled bathroom/dressing room for an hour and a half, while the other entertained Corbin and Soren in a vacant classroom. Esme also put her hand through the back of an open door jam and split her fingers open when the door closed. The kids found a band aid in the first aid kit in a supply closet. Reese describes it as the most stressful babysitting gig she’s ever had and Quincy calls it “the big disaster”. I think they handled everything just fine....probably because this is a pretty accurate description of the craziness that ensues just about any time I attempt to go anywhere. They’re doing just great. The car alarm finally stopped honking, Adrian never peed on the church carpet (though Esmes hand did bleed on it), everyone survived, and we were able to attend the temple. Willardson Win.
After the temple, We took the children to Science City for some fun and stress relief. The big kids explored the place together much of the time and Aaron and I alternated between Sloane and one of the twins, and offering coping exercises to the other twin who was over tired and over stimulated and needed space for a couple of extreme meltdowns. Soren got separated from the group and I spent 10 minutes searching for him, and blocking out flashbacks of 5 year old Corbin getting pulled from my grasp and lost in a crowd at Silver a Dollar City. Soren is so smart and found a mother and a staff member. The mother also had 7 children and she smiled knowingly and laughed as I ran to Soren and told him how well he had done to find a mother to help him. She pointed out her cell phone number written boldly across each of her children’s arms and said “this is our normal. We get it!” I’m thankful Soren was perfectly safe. I’m thankful I’m not the only mother out there who can’t keep her act together well enough to just go to a children’s museum for an hour without losing a child, and another child having a public tantrum that involved throwing shoes at people and screaming that cleared a room, and another deciding 50 feet from the exit that she was done walking for the day and went completely limp and rolled on the floor, but pulled out hair or clawed the face and arms of anyone offering to carry her. We were quite a side show today. I took a great deal of relief in the solidarity that mother offered. I’m also grateful for how oddly certain I was that we would find Soren safe and sound, and he was.
I with I could post more pics. I took dozens but many of them have the twins in them, so I cannot post them or their cute faces.
Because between all of the chaos that follows us, there were moments of learning and creativity and exploration and togetherness, and fun, and memories made. We’re in way over our heads and boy do we know it. 50 insane moments are worth it for the 5 really good moments. Because those 5 are just so good, and there’s no rule book that states what the good:insane chaos ratio has to be. And though I wish every day that my children from hard places didn’t have to have endured the horrors they’ve survived and are still traumatized by, these are their histories, their stories and their realities, and it’s our story to be part of their healing and their present. Their present looks like tantrums and sensory processing delay and food insecurity and occasional disassociation. Those are big loud chaotic things. So we are a big loud chaotic family. It’s difficult to navigate sometimes, especially when we go places that are better enjoyed with order, quiet, and predictable behavior, but that’s not our current jam. Thank goodness life doesn’t have to be perfect to be wonderful.
I’ve been asking in prayer for the Lord to “show me who I am” and I heard the phrase used a few ones in church today. After losing a kid in a museum, I sure needed the answer I received today, which is: capable. That’s a slippery but beautiful garment. I’ll hold on to it and try on for the season, believing with faith that it fits.
Making lava lamp pens
Esme got stuck in this giant black tube slide and Aaron had to climb in partway to get her out.
Sloane always closes one eye when she points things out that are faraway. It’s hilarious.
My favorite weird roadside thing to see on the way home from KC. A tree growing out of an old grain silo. See this? Beautiful things grow, and even thrive while surrounded with walls of opposition. It reminds me of my favorite General conference quote ever, “look up, not around.” The tree’s nourishment come from its roots, and the sun. Stay well rooted, and look to the light, and every one will turn out exactly as they should.
I might also add that the opposition surrounding this strong tree, is a man made interference, and all sorts of metaphors about worldly perspectives and influences can be drawn from that.
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