Bless Your Heart

Soren had an echocardiogram a week and a half ago.  He did great, but it was sort of awful.  It's difficult to hold your baby down on a table in awkward positions while an ultrasound tech pokes his chest for over an hour.  Soren smiled and laughed for the first half and then just looked at me and whimpered for the second half.  Finally, I climbed up on the bed and had Soren lay across my chest and the doctors were able to get the final pics they needed.
The staff at the hospital kept saying what a treat it was to be able to serve such a thriving, happy baby. It gave me a little perspective when they told me that many of the babies they work with are fighting for their lives and underweight.  They were pleased to tell me that this little baby guy weighed in at 17.5 lbs and is developing right on schedule...which is not news they get to report as often as they'd like.  We left the appointment hopeful, but real results would need to wait until our cardiology appointment the following Wednesday, and possibly after an EKG (electrocardiogram--the one where they stick a zillion sensors on his chest and attach wires that record heat beat patterns, listening for a murmur) if our doctor saw anything questionable on the echo.

When we got back from Ca, we met with the cardiologist, and Dr. Fontinot was pleased to deliver some GREAT news: we are D-O-N-E with cardiology!  Done with EKGs, done with echocardiograms, done with tiny blood pressure cuffs, done with the children's hospital, done turning blue, and done (hopefully) with nightmares that my baby will not wake up when I put him in bed at night. Done, done, and done, because: (drumroll please...)

Soren has a healthy heart!  

The Atrial Septal Defect in Soren's heart has closed beautifully, the Patent Ductus Arteriosus closed sometime between when he was 24 and 48 hours old, and the dilated ventricle is just the right size now.  His heart looks perfect.

I'm so grateful and relieved and grateful and relieved.  Modern medicine is such a miracle.
My baby is a miracle.  And I get to spend everyday with him and be reminded that God answers prayers.

This news gave me enough courage to leave him with the babysitter on Friday night while we went on a date.  This is a big step for me. I always have a bit of anxiety when the time comes to leave a baby home with the big kids and the sitter, but it has been particularly difficult for me to leave Soren--especially with a teenager. This was the first time I was able to go through with it.  Plus, he's so easy to pack along with us, that Aaron and I honestly don't mind bringing him with us on our dates.   But we knew it was good for us to slip away for a quick dinner date, so we left, and I was an antsy mess most of dinner. We used a gift card and went to On the Border, then walked around the new Home Goods for a little bit, and stopped at Sams Club for gas on the way home.  Not a late night out or anything particularly fancy, but it was just the two of us and since we are never alone together out of the house, it had a recognizably different feeling.  When our server brought our meal, he tripped and the tray of heavy plates and hot food came crashing down and shattered on us and the floor, landing right where Soren's carseat would have been sitting. I'd had my back to the server, so the accident had come out of nowhere and shaken me up a bit.  The next time the server flew around the same corner and rushed past us I ducked and covered my head. Aaron laughed and teased that I have PTSD but then got serious because it really wasn't funny how much it had startled me to look up and see plates coming down over my head. We were like new parents leaving a baby! This is #4! He should be the easiest!  We felt relieved that we had chosen last minute to leave Soren with the sitter, because he would have been hit with heavy plates and burned by steaming food. It was a small confirmation to me that I cannot protect my baby from everything, and he was just as safe at home in the care of our capable (and wonderful) sitter as he was with me. Accidents can happen anywhere. We are glad we left him home, and he did great with the bottle and went to bed with no trouble at all. When we got home I went in to check on Soren, and when I came out, Aaron admitted that he'd already gone in to peek on him too while I was taking the sitter home. Ha. I'm not the only parent who worries.

I'm just so relieved that he won't need surgery.
We love you, Soren. Bless you and your perfect little heart.

PS- how adorable is that teeny tiny hospital gown?
PPS- how adorable is that drooly bottom lip?