A few nights ago, I accidentally left the door that goes out to our garage from the kitchen open all night long. Oopsie. I've squished a couple crickets, but no biggie, right?
Wrong. There is a biggie, alright. A big FAT mouse. He ran across my kitchen floor when I flipped on the light in there at 6 am and he scared the crap out of me. My house is clean. I have like 50 stray cats in our yard. How the CRAP did I get a mouse? Sick!
I'll tell you how. HENRY. We frequently see little critters coming in and out of his garage, and last time I was over there, the floor was a carpet of rodent feces.
Dear Mouse,
Why? Why my house? You had a freaking paradise set up across the street with your pals. The kitchen alone is a smorgasboard. Were you crowded out? Did the fruit fly colonies hog the rotten fruit pile? What about the bathrooms? The toilets are full...that seems like the kind of thing a nasty little critter like yourself would be interested in. Why did you come to my house? Now I feel all icky and want to move. Also, I'm afraid to take off my shoes and it is 103* outside.
Curse you, tiny beast!
I am armed with dcon bricks and enough traps to kill an army (just in case you have any little friends, but I really don't think you do). You are going to die.
-Meg
Dear Henry,
Your house is disgusting. Now that you've attracted mice, do you know what are going to come next? Snakes. I don't do mice, I definitely don't do snakes, and I don't do well with hoarders. Expect a visit from the Health Department very soon. Also, you probably should not be driving while taking hydrocodone. You also probably shouldn't continue taking hydrocodone if you're describing its effects as "just the same as water".
-Meg
I cleaned my garage today (finding a mouse in your home will drive you to absolute insanity.) I'm sorting, scrubbing, and purging everything I own. Nothing is safe from the wrath of my ScotchBrite sponge. I even cleaned my cleaning products. Hopefully Little Fatty came over on from Henry's on his own and doesn't have 20 cousins slummin' it with him in our crawlspace.
I'm so grossed out I can't breathe. I don't think I'll sleep until Fatty is dead.
I'll blog more later. I need to go finish bleaching everything I own.
Goodbye Butterflies
12 years ago
5 comments:
As you mom I have to say that Henry needs an intervention. Call someone. He obviously can't help himself so good neighbor call the health dept. Or homeowners association or someone. His house is gross and it stinks so bad that it has to be unhealthy for him to live there. So sorry about the mouse I feel the same way about them.
Sick. Sorry.
Ugh! That's sick. I hope you get that fatty mouse!
Mice are horrible!! I'm shuddering over here in sympathy. The best trap, from my experience, is the old fashioned kind with peanut butter and a iron stomached man who will throw the awful dead mouse out for you. Seriously, I just shuddered again. I looooaaaathe rodents.
gross. time for the law.
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