In All Fairness

We hit the Benton County Fair on Saturday night. Notice the pit stains on Captain Murph. Those are no coincidence. The fair is a schwetty place. First stop? For obvious purposes, we went for the deep fried foot long corn dogs.

We ran into the Nielsen girls and they rode the swings together. Before they saw their friends, my girls were afraid of the swings, but the power of peer pressure worked toward our advantage and before we knew it they were circling by with their hands in the air and smiles on their faces.

When Corbin grew tired of watching, Aaron took him to the carousel for a horsie ride.
Reese, Quincy and I went on one more ride-they chose the kiddy coaster. Their faces were classic. We walked around and enjoyed people watching at it's finest. Carnie Edition. It doesn't get any better than that, folks.

Say, is that a knife game for children? Yes. Yes it is. Forget the rock hard stuffed bear as big as your car. At this booth, little Sally can win a switchblade!
I think my biggest regret from the evening is not paying to see the World's Smallest Woman. The striped tent had a small wooden box in the middle of it and for 50 cents you could go inside and look in the box. This offer came with a "money back guarantee that she was in really the box and alive and breathing." How did I pass this up? Question: What do people do once they get in there and see the tiny woman? Do they just stare at her? Take pictures? Does she like to chat with people? That's awkward, isn't it? Here's how I imagine 100% of conversations with the Tiny Woman go:

Patron: "Hi! Wow! You're tiny! And real!"

Tiny Woman: "My husband is a pimp. Please save me from this horrible life of exhibition."

Patron: "Amazing! 'Alive and breathing' just like they promised! Totally worth 50 cents. Come on, Jack, let's go tell Brenda, she's gotta see this..."

Tiny Woman: "Seriously? I'm in a freaking wooden box. [sigh] Okay..uh..enjoy your cotton candy. help me..."

We hit the petting zoo next and held the baby chickies, but not before stopping to sample the smoked wings, sausage, and pork shoulder. Priorities, people. Corbin loved the chicks. The girls thought the piglets were "so adorable". Milked a "cow"

and pet a bunch of livestock. Yup. Q's "shorts" are pants, that she has hiked up to her thighs. She's been sporting this style anytime we force her to wear actual clothing other than just underwear on the bottom. She says, "it's too hot for clothes. These are my hot pants." Hot pants, they are.

Later, we heard the siren call of the funnel cakes.

And Aaron gave the evening a grand finale of gigantic fresh squeezed lemonade. He definitely knows how to keep his women happy. Any beverage that includes a straw wide enough to suck up melty little ice pieces is so much better than diamonds.
Great night. Captain Murph was right. Totally worth the schwetty pit stains.