"Anyone who thinks they are too small to make a difference has never been bitten by a mosquito."
-Jeannette Walls, Half Broke Horses
Small things really do make the difference. Obviously, we all have big things that happen in our lives, but the small things are what make up the bulk.
I see my day as a big clock that has been be sliced like a pie into 15 minute increments, dished out, served, and consumed by the different people and places where I was needed.
I love my life.
I love the places and people that I willingly let devour my time and attention, and I happily do it again at the start of every day. Maybe I am a true southerner. I have this bizarre need to feed people when they come over.
I think the problem is that sometimes we run out of pie, and the people that are left with our grouchy empty plate are really the people who deserve the first and biggest slice of our time, thoughts, and energy.
It is summer. I should have more to give, because I am not so busy running to soccer practice, running to class, or running to just run, anymore. Those extra guests have left my table and no longer need to be fed. So why do I still feel like I have run out of substance and am not progressing as a person?
To what master am I serving up my energy?
One of my favorite quotes comes from my friend Jocelyn. She says, "Comfort arrests progress." I've probably written about it before on my blog, so if this a repeat, deal with it. I love this line. I get too comfortable with how things are going and stop making an extra effort to grow spiritually, draw closer to my family and God.
As I have thought about how to change this, I came upon this nugget of inspiration:
"But if ye will turn to the Lord with full purpose of heart, and put your trust in him, and serve him with all diligence of mind, if ye do this, he will, according to his own will and pleasure, deliver you out of bondage." (Mosiah 7:33)
Bondage. Trust. Deliverance.
A rhetorical question: What binds you from progressing?
So, I've been asking myself some form of this question, for the last 10 days or so. Some days I have the same answer, and other days it is a completely new obstacle that I feel is keeping me from more happiness and a sound mind. Through recent events with friends, a 3am priesthood blessing from sweet Aaron when I hadn't slept in like 3 days, and good counsel from loved ones, I came to the conclusion that, for me, trust = safety and peace. I am no introvert. I feel like I need to have people I can trust in order to feel safe and happy and be able to function in life.
broken trust = meg stops working.
So it happens. People you trust make mistakes, sometimes big mistakes, and break your trust. But if you are like me, it just breaks YOU.
And then there is all the wasted time mulling over it that just makes me all the more useless. I think Satan loves that women like to stew their thoughts, because it makes it so easy for him to drop a bad ingredient into our pot, then sit back and let us do the simmering until it's flavor has overpowered every thought in our head.
Today, I sought peace with one of those stewed situations. I went back to that scripture and read it again, keeping that concept of how I identify trust in my mind.
Well, lo and behold, the FIRST line of the verse is "put your trust in HIM".
It doesn't matter if I've been burned by someone or if bad things happen.
It. Doesn't. Matter.
Well it does matter, of course, since I still care about them and have been affected greatly by them, but my life still can carry on even though it happened.
Remember on 9/11 how we all just sat in shock, staring at our tv's, watching the same news video coverage of the attacks? Remember how we were all just frozen in time, waiting for more news? We didn't do anything but sit and watch and wait. Maybe that segment of reverence was needed. It was sort of a calm before the tidal wave of anger washed over America. I think that there are times when it is ok to just be still and listen, and wait. But sometimes, we can get so comfortable with that, or so overcome with bad things that happen around us, that we can't take our mind off of them. And instead of sitting, watching, waiting, and listening, we are just sitting and doing nothing. Progress arrested.
I have learned this:
We can still progress even when bad things happen around us.
My idea of trust wasn't quite right, was it? Or, at least, where I placed it was wrong.
We really DON'T need to pour our trust into anything, except the Lord, because the rest of us are only human, and are guaranteed to make a mistake and lose someone's trust at some point. If you are one to expect perfection, and you identify trust of others with peace of mind, well then you might end up like me, arrested spiritually because you got too comfortable with being mad about what happened rather seeking to forgive and progress.
Bondage. Progress held captive by destructive emotions: anger, frustration, resentment, unconsolable sadness, being caught up in sadness over people who have let us down, pride, and inability to forgive.
I am grateful for Christ's unyielding love, for my wise, amazing husband, for my mom, and for friends who have helped me understand, forgive, repent and progress.
Some things really suck. Sad and ugly things can happen in this world.
That doesn't mean it is going to happen again, though, so why live bound by fear? It also doesn't mean that it won't happen to me again. The point is that I really have no control over that. It isn't about trusting other people that bad things won't happen to me. It's about trusting in the Atonement of Jesus Christ that I will be able to handle the bad things and move forward when they inevitably DO happen.
Trust. It's a little thing, but it makes a big difference whom we serve it to and share it with.
"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." (2 Timothy 1:7)
-Jeannette Walls, Half Broke Horses
Small things really do make the difference. Obviously, we all have big things that happen in our lives, but the small things are what make up the bulk.
I see my day as a big clock that has been be sliced like a pie into 15 minute increments, dished out, served, and consumed by the different people and places where I was needed.
I love my life.
I love the places and people that I willingly let devour my time and attention, and I happily do it again at the start of every day. Maybe I am a true southerner. I have this bizarre need to feed people when they come over.
I think the problem is that sometimes we run out of pie, and the people that are left with our grouchy empty plate are really the people who deserve the first and biggest slice of our time, thoughts, and energy.
It is summer. I should have more to give, because I am not so busy running to soccer practice, running to class, or running to just run, anymore. Those extra guests have left my table and no longer need to be fed. So why do I still feel like I have run out of substance and am not progressing as a person?
To what master am I serving up my energy?
One of my favorite quotes comes from my friend Jocelyn. She says, "Comfort arrests progress." I've probably written about it before on my blog, so if this a repeat, deal with it. I love this line. I get too comfortable with how things are going and stop making an extra effort to grow spiritually, draw closer to my family and God.
As I have thought about how to change this, I came upon this nugget of inspiration:
"But if ye will turn to the Lord with full purpose of heart, and put your trust in him, and serve him with all diligence of mind, if ye do this, he will, according to his own will and pleasure, deliver you out of bondage." (Mosiah 7:33)
Bondage. Trust. Deliverance.
A rhetorical question: What binds you from progressing?
So, I've been asking myself some form of this question, for the last 10 days or so. Some days I have the same answer, and other days it is a completely new obstacle that I feel is keeping me from more happiness and a sound mind. Through recent events with friends, a 3am priesthood blessing from sweet Aaron when I hadn't slept in like 3 days, and good counsel from loved ones, I came to the conclusion that, for me, trust = safety and peace. I am no introvert. I feel like I need to have people I can trust in order to feel safe and happy and be able to function in life.
broken trust = meg stops working.
So it happens. People you trust make mistakes, sometimes big mistakes, and break your trust. But if you are like me, it just breaks YOU.
And then there is all the wasted time mulling over it that just makes me all the more useless. I think Satan loves that women like to stew their thoughts, because it makes it so easy for him to drop a bad ingredient into our pot, then sit back and let us do the simmering until it's flavor has overpowered every thought in our head.
Today, I sought peace with one of those stewed situations. I went back to that scripture and read it again, keeping that concept of how I identify trust in my mind.
Well, lo and behold, the FIRST line of the verse is "put your trust in HIM".
It doesn't matter if I've been burned by someone or if bad things happen.
It. Doesn't. Matter.
Well it does matter, of course, since I still care about them and have been affected greatly by them, but my life still can carry on even though it happened.
Remember on 9/11 how we all just sat in shock, staring at our tv's, watching the same news video coverage of the attacks? Remember how we were all just frozen in time, waiting for more news? We didn't do anything but sit and watch and wait. Maybe that segment of reverence was needed. It was sort of a calm before the tidal wave of anger washed over America. I think that there are times when it is ok to just be still and listen, and wait. But sometimes, we can get so comfortable with that, or so overcome with bad things that happen around us, that we can't take our mind off of them. And instead of sitting, watching, waiting, and listening, we are just sitting and doing nothing. Progress arrested.
I have learned this:
We can still progress even when bad things happen around us.
My idea of trust wasn't quite right, was it? Or, at least, where I placed it was wrong.
We really DON'T need to pour our trust into anything, except the Lord, because the rest of us are only human, and are guaranteed to make a mistake and lose someone's trust at some point. If you are one to expect perfection, and you identify trust of others with peace of mind, well then you might end up like me, arrested spiritually because you got too comfortable with being mad about what happened rather seeking to forgive and progress.
Bondage. Progress held captive by destructive emotions: anger, frustration, resentment, unconsolable sadness, being caught up in sadness over people who have let us down, pride, and inability to forgive.
I am grateful for Christ's unyielding love, for my wise, amazing husband, for my mom, and for friends who have helped me understand, forgive, repent and progress.
Some things really suck. Sad and ugly things can happen in this world.
That doesn't mean it is going to happen again, though, so why live bound by fear? It also doesn't mean that it won't happen to me again. The point is that I really have no control over that. It isn't about trusting other people that bad things won't happen to me. It's about trusting in the Atonement of Jesus Christ that I will be able to handle the bad things and move forward when they inevitably DO happen.
Trust. It's a little thing, but it makes a big difference whom we serve it to and share it with.
"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." (2 Timothy 1:7)
Now that I am no longer fostering bad feelings (or letting them foster me), I feel free.
Delivered.
Now, who wants pie?
6 comments:
Meg, this is just beautiful. I love that God uses crappy situations to help others and make us grow, broken and distracted as we all are. Thank you for sharing.
PS Pie analogies are always just right. :)
I knew that you would pull yourself up by the bootstraps and seek for peace in the right place. That is one of the things I love about you.. You do choose to trust God.
You have a gift for putting your emotions into beautifully written words. I've learned a lot from the way you process life's lessons and use them to grow and progress and become the woman you are and want to become. I'm glad your week is becoming more peaceful and purposeful.
Thanks for sharing a slice of your pie with me consistently. It's one of my favorites.
Applying the scriptures to our lives opens our hearts to real healing and the real peace that it brings. Some times it is hard to remember the Savior's arms are always out stretched to us but we have to make the first move and submit to his will before we feel the comfort only he can provide. Your statements, so well written, express this beautifully. Thank you for sharing.
I concur. True peace comes when we trust in the Lord, forgive, and look for opportunities to serve or feed those around us. Because our Spirits need to be fed and sometimes that is best done while eating a slice of pie and talking with good friends.
The other thing I've learned recently is to put my Spirit first. My favorite quote right now is from CS Lewis: "You don't have a spirit. You are a spirit. You have a body" While our bodies are like demanding two year olds, we aren't ruled by them. We are spirits in bodies, given the experience to control and bend our bodies to our Heavenly Father's will and the example of our Lord Jesus Christ. It's put a lot in perspective for me, and now I try to focus on feeding my spirit first and foremost. Because you can take that with you. It's who you are.
I'm so glad you are doing well, Meg. It's difficult not to be bowed over by others' choices, because they affect our lives. But your decision to seek for solace in the Lord and let him deal with it is inspiring. Certainly we are not capable of carrying other people's burdens.
Post a Comment