Never Say Never

I swore many many years ago, that I would never put my child on a school bus.
Then my child started school.
I lasted 3 days.

The transition into Kindergarten has not been an easy one.
Basically, she doesn't like it.
But she does like it.

Change is a difficult thing for Reese. She likes to know what is happening. She likes to feel in control of her environment. She can handle huge challenges as long as she feels like she knows what is coming, and she feels in control of the situation.

Needless to say, with the little flood disaster, it's been a little chaotic around here the past few weeks.
At one point, there was plastic sheeting all over the living room, a mattress on the floor in the hallway, a sofa, loveseat, ottoman, 2 arm chairs, a dresser, a wardrobe, a rocking chair, a book shelf, a twin bed, a treadmill, a crib, and a piano all stacked in our dining room.

The girls were moved into our bedroom during the construction/painting phase, to the living room one night, and then to a new bedroom after the carpet arrived. Corbin was shuffled around as well and even spent a few nights in a pack n play in the kids' bathroom. "Dinner" meant anything that could be microwaved and served with salsa or ketchup.

Being a mom is not easy. It is hard to watch your child struggle with anything.

We forget how frustrating it was to learn how to tie shoelaces or how worried we used to get over a forgotten lunch, and we lose patience with our kids when they just can't relax or let "little" things go.

Brian Regan does a great comedy bit about this. We tell a kid that is crying over a popped balloon to "toughen up and forget about it---it's just a balloon we'll get you another balloon" and then we can't understand when they whine, "but I want THAT balloon, MY balloon!" and we grow even more impatient when they reject the replacement balloon that you had to fight a 15 minute line to get for them. Brian compares this to an adult losing a wallet or purse. Your keys are in there. Cash. Credit Cards. Your day planner, your ipod, your identity! If someone told you to "quit whining and forget about it, it's just a wallet, you'll get a new wallet", you'd be pretty pissed and feel like shouting back, "But that was MY wallet, I want that one, with my stuff in it! No! I don't want that ugly new wallet, I want the one with my drivers license and 100 bucks in it!"

Reese managed as well as any child could with her whole universe being flipped upside down around her, but when she got another double ear infection last week, it was the straw that broke the camels back. Her balloon popped and she fell apart.

Enter the 20 minute-peel-the-child-off-off-my-leg-and-leave-her-there-crying drop-offs at school. It had only been 3 days, and I was already burned out on meltdowns in the hallway outside her classroom door. Don't think I'm a sissy. These are not your ordinary meltdowns. They came complete with the ugly cry (you know, the one where the snot flows freely down to the chin, and it sounds so horrible you want to give them whatever they want just to make it stop?), threats to pee her pants if I didn't stay there with her, a heavy dose of, "How could you do this to me? You told me kindergarten would be fun! You lied!" that cut me right to the core. and of course, a desperate finger-pointing, public accusation of betrayal as I walked away.
I was shocked at her reaction to Kindergarten, but I really shouldn't have expected anything less. Reese is a theatrical negotiating genius and has been preparing all her life for this moment. She spared no dramatic expense.

Change is hard.
But life is full of change, so at some point, we all have to learn how to deal with it.

I had done everything I could considering our less-than-ideal torn up house situation, to make Reese's transition to full time Kindergarten a comfortable one. There was really nothing else to do but let her experience a little social discomfort, and offer her advice on how to work through it.

I put my kid on the bus.
I prayed.
and guess what?

We'll be okay.