Uprising

Don't go to the Walmart pharmacy at 5:30.
Just don't do it.
It will be the biggest mistake of your life.
Ok, I get it. Your kid is sick and needs medicine, but listen to me, if you can be fairly certain that your kid will still be alive the following morning, just wait until then to go to the pharmacy. Don't go at 5:30pm. You can thank me later.

Aside from the typical usual-ness that happens to me at the pharmacy, (like when I wait 2 hrs only to discover that they do not carry that medication. Or the pharmacist doesn't like the dose recommended by my pediatrician and is holding the Rx hostage until he can personally speak with her the following day. Or when my kids are sick and overtired and waiting in a 45 minute line at walmart is pure torture for them so as I lift them into the shopping buggy they scream as if they're being lowered into boiling water, causing an awesome scene, etc) I got a particularly nice show the last time we were there.

This all happened after I had been awarded "worst mommy ever" by Reese.
After carried a whimpering sick Quincy around the store because she refused to walk and the buggy was full. And after and had to call for "clean up on aisle 3" when Corbin realized that he can reach the contents in the back of the buggy and throw them over board. His item of choice was, of course, a glass jar of baby food (See that? Just another reason to continue making my own!) which shattered glass and yellow slime all over the tampon aisle.

Did I mention I was in the tampon aisle? You can guess why I was there, which as you can imagine, only made the day even more fabulous, and my patience even better.

Anyway, after 10 minutes in the back of a line so long the pharmacists look like ants behind the counter, I had exhausted my resources (aka the emergency bag of fruit snacks in the bottom of the diaper bag) and was all "I Spy"ed out. What is the hold up, people?

They opened a second register and the line started moving pretty quickly. The hold-up was a man having a problem with his insurance. I think they realized he wasn't going anywhere and decided to open the other register just to get the line actually moving again.

Turns out, the Man at the Counter was actually the CRAZY Man at the Counter.

"NO! I will NOT pay $90 for this prescription! I will pay SEVEN dollars for this prescription!"

The poor pharmacist. I actually felt bad for her for a minute, but then I remembered the time she played God with my prescription and made my afternoon miserable, and my pity quickly turned to optimism that we might get a little show while we were waiting.

"I'm sorry, Sir, but this medication blah blah blah....I'll call the insurance again...blah blah blah...my manager says....blah blah blah...."

Here comes the crazy, "I SAID, I will pay SEVEN DOLLARS for this prescription!"

"It costs ninety." says the pharmacist.

Then Mr Crazy REACHED OVER THE COUNTER and GRABBED the pharmacy bag right out of her hands!

She screamed, "Sir!" and he took off running!
She picked up the announcement phone and called for assistance in the pharmacy, then climbed OVER the counter to chase after him.

Does this mean that Window 1 is now available to help the next customer?

He was "caught" at the entrance and brought back to the counter momentarily before being escorted out of the store empty handed by security. He was shaking like crazy...not seizure shaking, more like "I'm going to strangle you with your lab coat" shaking. I wonder if his fix was in that $90 bag. Crazy!

So if you do absolutely have to go the pharmacy at 5:30 pm, take some candy and a bag of popcorn, because if I happen to be there at the same, all the freaks are bound to come out of the woodwork and give us a show. Also, you will want the snacks because you'll be waiting in line for freaking forever.

I have to go get Quincy's Rx filled tomorrow. Wish me luck.