Things that are Total Crap.

I put up 40 ft of fence with my Dad today along the property that neighbors Keith. (aka the jerk...to catch up on our past experiences with him, click the "on being a good neighbor" tag)
We were careful to make sure that the ENTIRE fence is 2 inches INSIDE of the property line. The fence is 100% on our property JUST so there will be no problems.

We decided that one fence section was too long (13 ft between posts), so tonight around 8pm, I went out to dig a hole to add a post in the middle and create two 6 ft segments of fence.

at 8:45 Mrs. Keith opened her garage and said, "it's THEM. Over THERE. WHAT are they doing now?" to Keith. I kept digging (behind my fence).
She came over minutes later and said, "ARE YOU DEAF?"

Ok. At this point, I have two options.
option #1 = be nice
option #2 = don't be nice

I went for option #1.5 = defensive.

Me: Uh. No.

Mrs. Keith: There's clanking in my bedroom.

Me: I'm sorry. I am almost done.

Mrs. Keith: I have to get up at 5:30 in the morning. I have to work.

Me: I am almost done.
(let it be stated here that there WAS originally a hole near this location at one point, but it was "mysteriously filled in" at our last episode with Keith.

Mrs. Keith: I said I have to get up at 5:30 in the morning, and you are CLANKING in my bedroom!

Me: I understand. I have to wake up early, too. My baby gets up at 5:30.

Mrs Keith: Are you DENSE? I said I have a JOB. Do you know what that means? You can do this tomorrow, you have no life and no responsibility and you are only out here to cause trouble.

Me: Don't call me dense. I have a job, too.

Mrs Keith: YOU. DO. NOT! (this is where she goes psycho) You do not work! You don't know how to work!

Me: (Did she seriously just tell me that I don't know how to work? There are so many things wrong with this conversation I don't know where to begin.)
Ok listen. I am only out here tonight because I received a letter from the POA that YOU had complained about our boat being in our driveway, and that we have until May 5th, that's TO-DAY, to move it. Well, the boat goes right here, so I am finishing the fence so I can move my boat and make you happy.
ALSO, I am only DIGGING by HAND right now because the hole we dug months ago was mysteriously filled back in by YOUR "land surveyor". I am almost done.

Mrs. Keith: How am I going to get it through your thick head that you need to stop right now? You start smarting off to me when all I did was come over here and politely ask you to be quiet.

Me: Polite? Seriously? I am ALMOST DONE.

Mrs. Keith: WHEN will you be done?

Me: When this hole is 18 inches deep again.

enter Aaron...who uses a tone of voice that immediately tells me he prefers option #2.

Aaron: What's the problem out here?

enter Keith: My wife is trying to sleep and SHE (points at me) is smarting off to her.

Mrs Keith then told a ridiculous version of what had just happened.

I told her she was lying, but it didn't matter because I was going to stop "clanking" with my shovel and go inside.

Mrs Keith: "I'm calling the police. They'll take care of this."

Aaron: Take care of what? She is done. What are they going to do? Make her stop extra?

Mr and Mrs Keith simultaneously yelled, at one point Keith's mumbling (yes. dentures) got bad and Mrs. Keith told her she can't understand him. We just stood there shocked that this whole conversation was even happening. How did it escalate to this point? How did this get so crazy?
They just kept yelling, telling us that the POA had called and ticketed THEM for their ghetto railroad ties that they lined their yard with (to make a pseudo curb and prevent anyone from parking in front of their house. FYI We have never complained, though we should have when Keith went nuts and made verbal threats to "straighten me out when my husband is not around." a couple years ago.). THEN Keith started crying while he was yelling, and got all shakey and Mrs. Keith calmed him down while she bitterly spat out things like, "we have NEVER done anything to YOU, EVER! You two have caused nothing but problems for us since you moved here. We are good neighbors and you are horrible people! (that last line came out with so much hatred, I swear her breath was green). Your fence is on our property and we are good Christians and decided to just let it go and not complain."

Aaron jumped in here insisting that Keith doesn't even know WHERE his property line is, since it is clearly marked and not even touching within 2 inches of the fence.
Then Mrs. Keith yelled: "Why can't you just be good Christians and leave us alone?!"

{Uh, yeah. We're trying to leave you alone. Hence, the FREAKIN FENCE between our properties!!! Just let me build the dang fence, lady!!!! }

Aaron: Ok. We're done. Go to bed.

and that was that.

Do you feel like you're in Jr. High? Madness!!!

The fence cannot be complete soon enough.
Either that, or I am just going to have to move.

1756 sq ft house for sale in beautiful Bella Vista.
It comes with the worst neighbors in America.