Dear Clovis (yes. again)

Dear Clovis New Mexico,
It would appear I owe you a grand apology. It turns out that you are actually pretty awesome. You appeared a few weeks ago, after our internet service crashed and I had spent HOURS on the phone with Mrs. Fake Person Pretending To Be a Real Human On The Line Tech Support Lady and had FINALLY gotten our internet up and running again. I checked the blog and you were there. Flattered as I was to have another big fan, it bothered me so that you never left a comment to identify yourself.
Then you started to show up A LOT. Many page views, and also many hours spent idle on my blog. You'd even go check out my friend's blogs, and my sitemeter. It got me pretty paranoid.

But it turns out that you, Clovis, are a great fan indeed, and that I have no need to be paranoid at all because, well...

YOU are ME.

Yeah. Apparently during my little hassle where my internet was overhauled and reassigned, there was a little mix up and my address now shows up as Clovis, New Mexico ...not at all where I actually live.
Seriously.

I am my own stalker.

All the time on my own blog? I leave our blog open as our home page.
All the page views? What I had thought was someone reading and reading, then clicking "read more posts" to read even more..turned out to be me again. I often hit the "refresh" button when I walk past the laptop, to see if there are any new comments to read. According to Sitemeter, "refresh" = page view.
The out clicks to my site meter? Oh agian, just me...checking in on how many times Clovis/ME had stopped by and freaking out that they were always there!
The out clicks to my friends' blogs? Me again, reading YOUR updated posts.
How did you finally figure it out? Too much time spent investigating. It took me longer to figure out than it would have taken the average bear. I'm quite embarassed that I didn't realize it sooner. But at the same time...New Mexico? Who would have thought? What first clued me in was that Clovis used the same internet provider as me, so many states away. Also, Clovis made a visit to my brother in law's private blog, so either Clovis is me, or Clovis cracked the system.
Oh! ...and the more time I SPENT hunting down my stalker, trying to find their source, the longer Clovis appeared to be viewing my own blog and site meter info. I set myself up.

How's THAT for paranoid?

Still going private? Unfortunately, Yes March 1st. I have to. I had an unidentified visitor from the UK last week spend about 15 minutes on our blog. UK's website? "Fat Willys..."
Many of my in laws refer to themselves as "Willy's" as a nickname for our last name. So Naive Meg-o sees the referring website and hops over to "Fat Willy's" website to find out who her witty, overweight relatives in the United Kingdom are. Well as the page loads I read the full title "Fat Willies....(yadda yadda insert 3 more words of filthyness of your choice)" which is exactly what I saw an image of when the page loaded.

Yeah. "Fat Willies etc." = PORN.
Nasty.

Lucky for me, my content adviser (thank you mr. filthy filter) shut it down quickly before I got more than just a glimpse of what United Kingdom had been checking out before hopping over to visit me. But still. A glimpse was enough. Someone in the United Kingdom looked at porn, then looked at my family. I feel so violated. They haven't been back, but sick, right? I don't need any more incentive than that.

Time to take the bloggy private.
March 1st. email me, y'all.
United Kingdom, you are NOT invited to the party.

And deepest apologies to the actual people who live in the REAL Clovis, New Mexico. I may have cursed a word or two in your direction in my frustrated witch hunt.

And once again, I provide my readers with an exciting story in which I embarrass myself for their entertainment.