"And I'll Be Co-o-o-o-o-o-ming Back For More, More, Ooooooh Ah ah ah ah!"

Dear Quiznos,

I have (a very good) reason to believe that you are putting some kind of addictive substance in your Sonoma Turkey Flatbread Sammies. Could you please just give me the recipe for that chipotle mayo so I can slather it atop everything I eat for a week, and get my fill? Those little sammies just get better every time I have them. I used to be totally satisfied with just one Sonoma Turkey Sammy.... Then I wanted two sammies.
Now I MUST have two, and would be even happier if you threw in an alpine chicken sammy for kicks. That be three sammies, Quiznos.

No longer am I excited that they are "only $2". You lured me in, got me hooked, and the figure has jumped to $6. Just give me the chipotle mayo and I'll be fine.

...and I don't WANT it in a smaller size. I want it supersized. Here is where you could learn a few things from Mr. McDonald. I want that mayo hung from a bag on a metal pole next to me and pumped into my system intravenously.

Ok just thinking about it is giving me the shakes...and it's only been 5 hours.
I'll be starting a support group soon. Our first meeting will be held at Quiznos.

PS-you really should do something about those yucky circular things you sell by the register. They are pretending to be cookies. You won't fool me there. Not with an Atlanta Bread Company selling warm chocolate chip toffee crunch cookies less than 3 miles away.

Sincerely, Meg

PS-this one is for 3 gold stars.
10 gold stars if you give me the exact recipe...from Quiznos...or if you show up at my house with a sammy.
...because I'm not above bribery.