If I Had A Stick Of Gum And You Didn't Have One, I'd Break It Right In Two...Give Half Of It To You

So my neighbors are moving. (no, not the neighbors we've been hoping would move.....the OTHER one's we've been hoping would move. The unemployed neighbors renting across the street from them, with the 13 year old and her LIVE IN 19 yr OLD BOYFRIEND (that she likes to fight with in the driveway), and 28 year old son that washes his 2 trucks (with the word REDNECK in vinyl lettering across the back windows) almost every day, and 2 rats (I mean boston terriors) that run around the neighborhood. One of them is 1/2 blind and the other is MISSING HIS NOSE and only has one cheek. Their names are Itty and Bitty.

The mom is very kind, and has even brought over a couple of "gifts" for my girls. One being a broken Easy Bake Oven, and the other an oversized stuffed bear, covered in mites and dog hair. Both "disappeared" during the night, and were long forgotten when I provided a new, CLEAN, replacement toy in the morning to distract them.

The heavens have opened and they are moving. We were about to break open the sparkling cider and celebrate when there was a knock on my door.

It was the son, holding a full container of Tide laundry detergent.
"Uh, I bought the wrong soap, and Mom is allergic to this kind. It's a full bottle and she thought you should have it"

(by the way, check out my new glass container for my powdered detergent! It holds an entire box of soap. Isn't it cute?)

Is it bad that I still questioned using the detergent? I figure, it's soap. Self-cleaning right? I'm sure there is nothing wrong with it.
Wait. What is wrong with me?!

The guilt set in...they really are nice people, just a little odd. I am a bad person for judging others. And for making fun of them after I judge them. I thanked him, accepted the gift and wished them good luck in their new home. (look out Kim, you have new neighbors.)
But he didn't leave. The transaction was not over. Nice Boy wanted to talk for awhile. I was all filled with guilt, so I engaged in small talk for a few minutes. Small talk was not enough. Nice Boy let me know the "great news" that he just filed for SSI, because he's "just too tired all the time to have a job", and that his mom is going to get it also, because now that he's over 25, his dad won't have to pay child support anymore. (Ok. I'm done. Go home, nice boy. This conversation is too uncomfortable for me, and if it doesn't end soon you will end up on my blog. Thank you for the free soap.)

He eventually left.
Maybe I should change my ways, and quit laughing at the expense of others.

But 10 minutes later, he was back with another parting gift. Nice Boy said his mom thought I could also use this gift, and they "harldy ever use it anymore". I just stared.I wished I'd had been wearing rubber gloves to accept it. Reese, of course, fell in love with it immediately, and is still begging to "let us keep it". (yah. like a pet.)



Charly, why don't you show us what's behind Door #1....

Why it's a plus size, sequined, spandex, iridescent flapper girl costume! Complete with a sequined hat.

What am I supposed to do with this? It is very stinky, and the feathers have little bugs that look like fruit flies in them. Seriously.

Sorry, Nice Boy. I don't think I'm going to quit mocking people ANY time soon.