Quincy on What Women Want.

Quincy: what do women want? Pockets!  We don’t want crop tops! We want the rest of the shirt back and we want pockets. 

Day dates

We’ve reached the point in summer where I wake up in a panic every morning with an urge to seize the day and soak up every drop. 

Actually, that has basically been the entire summer. 

This week has been heavy with schedule problems, more placement tests (soooo many) a zillion phone calls to get the ACT scheduled, etc. 

Between the craziness of back to school appointments (there are SO many!), we are playing hard at book stores and creeks and thrift shops and eating all the things.  

We just want to be together as much as possible before we are sliced up and served like pie all over NWA. 

Cucumbers

Soren waters the garden and pics one cucumber every day. They’re his favorite and we cannot produce enough to stuff our faces as much as we would like. Every time he brings one in, he shows it off to everyone, washes it, then slices it up and serves it with all the little rounds spread out into a smiley face on a plate. 

One on one with Sloane

Aaron took the big kids out for a date this afternoon. While the twins napped. I had a little one on one time with Sloane. It felt like we stepped back in time 2 years. We snuggled on the sofa and she practiced flash cards and read a book to me, we shared a snack, and I watched her give a 15 minute performance of her “show” with baby dolls. It warmed my heart and filled both of our cups.

Stay little just a bit longer. Sloanie! 

Retro Arcade

We are dwindling down to the last few days of summer which means friends are on last minute getaways and we are feeling that same irresistible pull to run away but we are unable to cross state lines or miss a weekend court ordered visit. So we are filling our data with local adventures and living it up. 

Also, I cry a lot. It’s hitting me SO hard that this is our “last summer” before Reese leaves for college and I just can’t hang with it. We’re feeling very not free during a season where we wish we could be free to skip off to California or any coastline for uninterrupted togetherness during these last unscheduled days. We are having fun together here in NWA though, and on a rainy afternoon last week we found pizza at pipe loft then hit up the retro arcade in Fayetteville. 

Long live summer break. 

Siloam Springs Kayak Park

The other mothers

I found out today that the bio mother of one of the  children we fostered is dead. 

I predicted this would happen and I hate that it happened.  

I mothered this woman’s child.  I feel connected to her.  I went to her hearing after an arrest and wasn’t allowed in. Did she know I wondered and worried about her? That I kept her baby safe and hoped she was safe?  That I called CASA and DHS months and years after the case closed to express concerns and no one heard me and no one followed up on a closed case.  She was overlooked, or only seen for mistakes and problems, and unseen once the case closed.  

To me, she was not invisible. Her life mattered even when it seemed no one was rooting for her. 

This system. 

This cycle. 

These children.  

We’ve got to do better.  

I have so many more thoughts about all of this, about her. My feelings are big. I don’t really expect anyone to quite understand…because who can relate to the death of your temporary baby mama?  But my mind spent a LOT of time emotionally connecting with and knowing this woman without ever even formally meeting her. I hope she knew that at least one person out there was thinking about her, wondering if she was safe, sheltered, and sober.  And even though she never saw me there, I hope she knows someone showed up, and someone notices and cares that she is gone.  

To the other mama: there’s rest and work waiting for you on the other side. May you feel welcomed, seen, and whole there. 

Rest In Peace, 

The Other Other Mama.