For the beauty of the Earth. For the beauty of the skies. For the love, which from our birth, over and around us lies.

We attempted a family walk/hike after naptime, yesterday. Tanyard creek had hundreds of people gathered for an event, and zero parking, even roadside. Not sure what was going on there, but people be crazy thinking that’s a good idea, so we drove to Blowing Springs. Closed to pedestrians only. The camping lot and parking lots were packed with RV’s and cars and people. 

So we ended up parking behind Harps grocery and walking along the Lake Ann damn. Views from both sides were beautiful. One of the boys had a meltdown and we ended up just coming home, but it was really pretty while it lasted. 

After we put the triplets to bed, we left the girls in charge and Aaron and I went on a much needed date. We drove through Andy’s custard for key lime pie concrete mixers, and then parked to talk about process our feelings about events that unfolded this week.  This beautiful sunset was a timely reminder of God’s awareness of us and restored hope in brightness waiting beyond the clouds. In all our worries, it is a good sky and watchful eye to be under. 

Meg Reads: the war that saved my life

Mother daughter book club is such a highlight in my life!

This book is the tale of a girl who is evacuated during the bombings. With her, she takes her club foot and a little brother to look after. She leaves behind a horrifically abusive mother and a world of isolation. 

The girls LOVED the Shaw girls book choice, this month.  Quincy has a thing for WWII era historical fiction. She f  invade war stories fascinating and says she likes the varying reactions of the way people respond to and overcome their trials. She also is really drawn to books with characters of differing physical abilities and enjoys their perspectives. 

Reese loved how nurturing and welcoming Susan was. Evacuee children tell the ultimate tale of foster care, and Reese recognized the many similarities in the children’s thoughts and behaviors.  Some of it was difficult to listen to. 

We all loved Ada’s determination to learn to walk and to ride a pony. And we were delighted with the accent of the audiobook narrator.  

These small group visits are everything for my extroverted heart. They are smart and loving and creative and hilarious and genuinely thoughtful. We cover alllll the topics, eat, and laugh until our faces hurt. Jill and Julie’s sister-antics keep us in stitches.  I joke that I don’t know why these amazing women even let me in the club...they are all so well read, and I don’t understand or care for the Lord of the Rings, Hamilton, The Muppets, or the entire Marvel Universe. They love me anyway, thank goodness. Probably because I come with Reese and Quincy, thank goodness. 

Our family has been carrying some heavy burdens during covid. I spent so many hours in frustrating conversations the phone with DHS and attorneys and CASA and therapists in the past few days, that my whole self was weary. Advocating against malicious intent is exhausting when you’re kicking against the pricks. I’ve been angry and disappointed and blindsided and vilified this week, and book club was the best 3 hours of respite from feeling SO much. Book club gave me a place to set most of the load down and engage in some levity to resuscitate my spirit.  

A Few Bright Things

I’m feeling broken down and beaten by the system today.  I cannot wait for the joyful day that I get to be free from the daily sorrows and traumas and inconveniences we are forced to endure while kicking against the pricks. I refuse to allow my children to be goaded into compromising circumstances that hurt and Re-traumatize them. I am angry with choices made by the department that support manipulative agendas and have been ruled by the judge to not be in the best interest of children. I’m losing faith in good will. I am exhausted from being bullied and vilified and lied to over and over again. I’ve sacrificed countless hours sitting on the phone this week with the department, attorneys, and therapists.  

On days like today, when the heartache and unbelievable frustration are holding my heart in a figurative vice that is so tight I can physically feel it’s grip squeezing me the life out of me. Then I look at my children and consider the best that they deserve and I know the fight is good and worthy. 

I’m taking a mental break from the roller coaster and the joke that is the department of human services. today. Manipulative and vindictive texts and emails will wait until tomorrow for responses. Today, I will just read books with the children and not be interrupted every 30 minutes. I will allow myself to be free to live and love without scrutiny. 

Here are some bright spots: 

A new phone for Reese

After 2 months of a phone that doesn’t work and 2 more months of a phone in and out of the shop and back and forth with Apple care, we gave up on the “warranty” and just replaced Reese’s phone. 

She has been out of contact with her friends for most of quarantine. She’s pretty happy to be able to communicate with us again, and has been busy playing with the camera feature. 

Sewing Pillows with Eunice

Esme has graduated from the crib to a big girl bed. Eunice brought her sewing machine over during naptime, this afternoon, and together we repurposed the crib sheet into two euro pillow shams. The crib sheet matches the wallpaper in the little girls’ room, and it cost a small fortune (but come on, a perfect match?  I saw it and bought it immediately, shouting, “Shut up and take my money!” at the Amazon cart), so even though it brought me 6 months of joy, I’m super happy to be able to reuse the fabric. 

I also loved the time spent with Eunice sitting across my kitchen table. We measured and cut and pinned and stitched and talked about important things like homemade salsa, California, Hank (her doggie), libraries, books, and Danish modern furniture.

 I love her. 

Pics of the finished products to come as soon as I get the pillows stuffed into them.  Everything is so much more enjoyable when done with a friend, isn’t it? 

Hufflepuff

I’m a Hufflepuff! I would have guessed Ravenclaw. But lives hard work and justice. 

Quincy is Slytherin with a king snake patronus. 

Reese is a Ravenclaw with a dolphin patronus. 

I don’t know what my patronus is....apparently I need to take another quiz for that. 

Home Tour: Classroom

The kids have been helping me “upgrade” the basement classroom to fit home learning for 2nd grade and kindergarten. I had two other moms lined up to do a weekly CoOp with. Some recent changes have me wondering if that part will happen after all, but I am optimistic that everything will work our exactly how it should! There will probably be a dozen more changes before school officially starts.  In the waiting, I am preparing what I can. 

I found these desks for a steal online, and added fun lights and bulletin boards. Right now it looks pretty sterile, but once I set up an art table, the kids will give their spaces some life. The chairs I bought were intended to go around a square table we have in the dining area for playing games and eating, but I’m going to use them down here instead...if they ever arrive! 

I miss my library children’s books. Classics, science, history, everything was covered. I’m slowly categorizing what we have and I’m realizing I’m missing a lot of the classics (no brown bear brown bear, no hungry caterpillar, or imogene’s antlers, or giving tree or rainbow fish or caps for sale. And my science books are lacking, too.  I will do some replacement shopping when I know what science and history units we will be doing. 

I found some vintage giant alphabet flash cards at the Rhea Lana  sale, and they’re so cute pinned on the walls. I’m pleased that they are getting good use, already. 

Every year, when my children have “meet the teacher” night, I thank their teachers for giving their lives to education, and then I tell them how lucky they are to get to spend the day with my kids. I’m feeling particularly blessed that it will be MY turn to be the lucky teacher! Soren curled up with me for a few chapters of our read-aloud today and I got a glimpse of the many great moments to come. 

Part of me is annoyed that I spent hours reorganizing something that I once already had. The other part is happy to have the time to put order to a space that’s been neglected since we moved back in. 


One room, one day at a time. 

I do really believe that learning can happen always and anywhere. We don’t really need desks or a map on the wall, or even a schedule. But since I have the classroom anyway, I’m enjoying making it a space that is specifically for my kids.