I’m feeling broken down and beaten by the system today. I cannot wait for the joyful day that I get to be free from the daily sorrows and traumas and inconveniences we are forced to endure while kicking against the pricks. I refuse to allow my children to be goaded into compromising circumstances that hurt and Re-traumatize them. I am angry with choices made by the department that support manipulative agendas and have been ruled by the judge to not be in the best interest of children. I’m losing faith in good will. I am exhausted from being bullied and vilified and lied to over and over again. I’ve sacrificed countless hours sitting on the phone this week with the department, attorneys, and therapists.
On days like today, when the heartache and unbelievable frustration are holding my heart in a figurative vice that is so tight I can physically feel it’s grip squeezing me the life out of me. Then I look at my children and consider the best that they deserve and I know the fight is good and worthy.
I’m taking a mental break from the roller coaster and the joke that is the department of human services. today. Manipulative and vindictive texts and emails will wait until tomorrow for responses. Today, I will just read books with the children and not be interrupted every 30 minutes. I will allow myself to be free to live and love without scrutiny.
Here are some bright spots:
No comments:
Post a Comment