Tuesday Love

I need to upload some pictures from my camera to el blog, but until then, here are a few things I love about today:

1) Sunshine and flowers. I'll probably post about this again when I have photos to show for it. It rained and poured every single day last week, but the sun is shining and the world is green and gorgeous again, this week. Bella Vista is in bloom and it is beautiful. I could sing all day long about how much I love the rainbow of tulips in my flower bed.

2) Garden. Yeyah! We've worked hard over the past 3 weeks and the Willy 2012 Garden is going to be delicious. It brings me pure joy to go outside with the kids and answer their little, "what's that? And what's that?" queries as they point out each of the bright green rows of teeny tiny sprouts they have helped plant. My children know where their food comes from, that growing food takes work and diligence, and that every summer a miracle will happen as their little prayers for our family garden are answered and we are blessed with a bumper crop of goodness to enjoy and share. Growing a garden is a simple therapy that teaches many lessons to our family every year.

3) I had a baby check up yesterday and Baby Willy sounds great! I've gained back the weight I lost during the first trimester and there was no sign of keytones in my urine this visit! This is all wonderful news to us and we are so grateful that the hyperemesis has settled into just regular old morning sickness---which is totally manageable! I still get sick with headaches and puke my guts out at least once every single day, but I am able to cook and clean and drive and play and snuggle and live again. We'll find out in 3 weeks if we are having a boy or a girl!

4) The children start swimming lessons at the fitness center tonight. Classes are 45 minutes long, meet once a week, and will last for the next 10 weeks. Corbin turns 3 right before the last day of class, so the director let me add him in, even though he technically is still 2. We'll see how that goes. I'm a little nervous.

5) LDS General Conference is this weekend on Saturday and Sunday. To watch it, click here on Saturday morning. A couple weeks ago in church, we talked about Noah in the Relief Society lesson. He preached repentance for 120 years to the people and when the time came to board the ark only eight people listened. I've been thinking about that as conference approaches and I wonder if I had been alive in Noah's time if I would have listened to his counsel, or laughed with the masses and called him crazy. I'm grateful that I have examples from the scriptures to learn from and can read about the prophecies of ancient prophets being fulfilled. It is so much easier for me to believe in a prophet than it must have been for those people in Noah's time, who were probably filled with regret when it began to rain. I also think about friends of mine who have been the first or only member of their family to convert to the church and how courageous it must be for many of them to believe things that might not have been supported by their families. It's pretty easy for me to live my religion and I don't take that blessing for granted.

6) Good deals! Katie called to tell me she found cute modest swimsuits for girls at Crazy 8's so I headed down there today. Not only did I luck out with swimwear for my girls, but all of their winter and fall clothes were being clearanced out. This is great for me, since Reese is very picky about clothes and will only knit leggings and cotton shirts with very few exceptions. (karma---I was totally the same child.) I bought several of these exact shirts that she loves for $2 and matching fleece jackets for $4 and the matching hair bows for $1 for her to wear to school in the Fall. Really cute stuff. I got a few outfits for Quincy including sweaters and a dress (with matching bows) for the same prices. How stoked was I when I got to the register and they said everything on sale was an additional 30% off? Oh very excited. I grabbed a few more shirts for the girls to wear this summer including an earth day shirt that Reese is going to have a heart attack over.

7) After shopping we sat in the sun and watched the kids play on the outdoor playground at the mall. Corbin climbed to the top of a "rock" immediately and looked like king of the mountain. I need to remember that my little boy needs to climb and wrestle and have a lot of opportunities to be active. He looked so happy today climbing and sliding and running around with his friends and sister and that makes me happy.

8) I hired a couple of (the best ever) cleaning ladies to come do a deep clean on Monday. I'm looking forward to it, already. Yes, I could scrub my own toilets, and no, my house is not utterly disgusting--it's surprisingly tidy considering what our last 2 months have been like. I'd rather use the hours of energy I have in a day doing fun things like cooking dinner for my family and playing outside in this beautiful weather and making sure the laundry is done (it never ends, does it?) and taking the kids to soccer and swimming lessons. So I hired out and I am not too proud to say it so don't judge. A clean house is very important to us, but scrubbing my shower and mopping the kitchen floor is about all I could do for one day and then I'd need to sit and rest. My kids are more important than a clean floor, so I choose them. But my family still deserves to have a clean floor.

There a saying I see often on the internet that says something like, "Good Moms have messy houses, sticky floors, dirty ovens and happy kids"

That sounds nice, but I don't buy that at all, not for my family anyway. My kids are not happy when our home is messy, and neither am I. We like order. Living in chaos causes contention, frustration, anxiety and serves us poorly. I've let a lot go and sacrificed a lot..and I mean a LOT of things go in order to stay off my feet as much as possible, keep our baby healthy, and survive the past 17 weeks, and Aaron even commented to me last night about how proud he is of me for not killing myself to do things I ordinarily would do. But even he misses our normal routine. Living in a mess does not bless my family. Que Karen and Alma. They are the sweetest women ever and I am already looking forward to having them come bless my home and my family with their love and sparkly magic.

9) My parents are coming! For the children, this is the most anticipated season of the year. They love spending time with grandparents and already have quite the agenda lined up. Dad, get the score pads ready, we have some games to play...

10) I have a new preschool student starting tomorrow. Another small person in my home to teach and adore. My job is the greatest!

11) My friends, family, and visiting teachers call and check in on me every few days. I think that if there is anything that has kept me out of the hospital so far, it is the love and service of people who care about us. Thanks to everyone who has chipped in. I don't think I have ever been as well cared for as I was in February and March.

12) Reese's bus is almost here, which means I am due for one of the greatest run-to-you-with-open-arms-and-a-big-smile bear hugs ever. Probably my favorite part of the day.

Happy Tuesday.

Have a good one.

I Hear

Quincy: "If I mix my vanilla yogurt in this chocolate pudding do you think it will be totally disgusting or just kinda gross but still good to eat? I'm going for it, Mom."

Reese: "Mom, since you're having a baby and dad is at work and there is a LOT of laundry on your bed, I am doing a secret special something in your room, so just take a nap and don't peek. And if you need to go pee, you'd better use my bathroom, or knock."

Corbin: "I horsey, Neeeeiiiiggghhhhh!!!!! I horsey! No.....wook! I a piggy, oink oink, rrraaarrrrrrr! I piggy-tiger!"

the dryer humming.

cardinals chirping and nesting in the crepe myrtles.

the kitchen cabinets being opened and closed 100 times by Quincy, our kitchen snacking mouse.

silence from the toilet that isn't "running" anymore because I fixed it (booyah!).

rain pouring out over the sides of our gutters.

squawky Scoutie and Eleanor telling the world there are eggs to collect. (Happy 1st birthday, chickens!)

Stuff that ain't fo sissies/I'm spent.

Unless you have acually suffered from Hyperemesis Gravidarum yourself, you truly cannot understand what it is like. You just can't. Wishing for sickness to get better does not translate into ingratitude for this baby, and I would do it all 150 times again, because even though it is hard, it is worth it.  Here is my reality:

Every day, my schedule goes as follows:

4:15 Aaron's alarm goes off. I make a mad dash to the bathroom and throw up. Crawl back into bed. Eat some crackers or a piece of toast.

6:15 Get Reese ready for school, pack her lunch, and send her out the door. Throw up in the driveway or on the lawn while we wait for the bus.

6:45 Eat a bagel and cream cheese and a juice box. Read and then pray that today will be better or at least different than the day before.

7:15-8:15 Sleep

8:15 get dressed, take Quincy to school. Pull over on the way home and throw up somewhere along Lancashire blvd and then throw up again and again for another 1-2 hours when I get home. Lay on couch with a bowl and watch Spirit or Toy Story with Corbin. On the days I don't have to drive anywhere, lie on the sofa and do absolutely nothing and don't start throwing up until I have to sit up and do something.

11am Eat Breakfast #3. Take Zofran. Turn all the lights off because Zofran may help keep food down, but the nausea never goes away, and Zofran causes headaches, light sensitivity, and anxiety attacks.

12:00 pick up Quincy from school. Throw up Zofran. Take another dose.

12:30-3 eat lunch, nap Corbin, set Q up with a quiet activity. Sleep on the sofa for 2 glorious un-nauseated hours. On a really good day, take advantake of this time and go to the store, or take the kids to the sand park. When I feel great, I REALLY feel pretty great and try to make the most of it.

3:00 Reese gets home, homework, snacks, think about what I could eat for dinner.

3:15 Bring on the Zofran headache....

4:30 - 6:30 pm = sick sick sick. Aaron brings home dinner, and swoops in like a knight and feeds the children, gives them much needed attention, and helps get them into bed. Dinner gets eaten and thrown up multiple times.

7pm finally keep another dose of Zofran down. Eat a bagel and cream cheese or something equaly bland and boring.

8-9:30 pm, I usually feel pretty great. This is definitely the best hour of my day and the only time I will get anything accomplished.

10pm-12pm moan and grown on the sofa and run to the kitchen sink every 30-45 minutes. Feel extreme gratitude for Aaron for helping keep life running around here. Sip a bowl of chicken broth, eat 5 crackers, drink some gatorade.

midnight: collapse into bed, somehow exhausted, as if I done anyting other than lay around all day.

This has been our daily routine for the last (count em) 7+ weeks....except I didn't get any Zofran until 3 weeks ago.

Now, throw in a round of RSV, several ear infections and a burst ear drum, strep, pinkeye, midnight kid puke all over the beds, a lice scare at Q's school (luckily, we didn't get it, but that's probably because everything in our house was basically boiled when she got home), excess saliva (so gross), pregnancy incontinence and then of all things, I got a sinus and ear infection this week.
So it hasn't been hard because friends haven't offered to help with playdates...they've totally offered, my friends are awesome. Luck and good health just haven't been on our side long enough to send the children anywhere, this month!

I had to quit teaching my older preschool class because it was just too hard to load up on enough Zofran to stay well for the 2 1/2 hr class for two days in a row. I'm managing the other class fine for now and openly admit that I simply love it too much to give it up entirely.

My mom arrived Wednesday night, and witnessed the horror show that is my puke(/pee my pants) schedule and we couldn't be happier that she is here to help.

I've managed to keep hydrated enough to stay out of the hospital, our baby is healthy and growing, I was well enough to make it to church on Sunday and have a few good outings last week, and for all of that we are grateful beyond words.

This is my 8th pregnancy in 8 years. You would think that each one would get easier, but for me, they don't.

Tonight, all I did was stand up, and I immediately (like, immediately) started throwing up. It was like watching Saturday in reverse.

I don't know why it is so much work for me to have a baby when it is so much easier for other women. I also don't know why those women will see me throwing up in a trash can or a bathroom or a parking lot somewhere and feel compelled to tell me how easy their pregnancies were and how "this never happened to them". Why, ladies, why? Be useful, go get me a paper towel...and some clean underwear...and second (or third) lunch.
And don't ask me, "why did you decide to have more kids if being pregnant makes you so sick?", or tell me that my wishes to feel better mean I am ungrateful for this baby. And don't assume that I have any kind of control at all over how I feel, cuz girl....you don't know my life.

Anyway, obviously want this baby very badly. The effort to have him or her here began a year ago and has involved a terrible miscarriage, a lot of heartache, and a lot of waiting. It only seems fitting that the entire process will be filled with trials and opposition until he or she arrives. We are thrilled and terrified and happy and grateful and already madly in love with who Aaron has decided must be a sassy-pants little red-head daughter to be giving me so much grief already ;)

Seriously, we will be SHOCKED if this baby is a boy. But then, we were already shocked at the first ultrasound when the dr told us there is only one baby in there, because I am bigger than I was at 20 weeks with the last pregnancy, and sick enough for 10 babies.

My mom got here on Wednesday and she has been a life saver. I've already thrown up one less time for every poopy diaper of Corbin's that "Gwamma" has changed ;), and she's held my hair back a lot more than anyone should ever do in their life. We're enjoying each other's company, too, of course, and the hours I felt really good (or was drugged up into believing I felt good) we've gotten out of the house and enjoyed. Aaron will be gone all next week for work. I would seriously be panicking if my mom weren't here to take care of us!

Anyway, that is our life right now. This post is whiny, but I don't really care. I never post how I really truly feel, and maybe if I had written a play by play of my pregnancy over the summer (where I also spent several weeks throwing up, so FYI, it's absolute bull when a dr tells you that being sick is a sign of a healthy baby. just sayin'.) we would have been better prepared and not foolish enough to actually believe that we understood what our "worst case scenario" hypermesis scenario looked like. We had no idea just how bad it could get!

Some days do seem like it is getting better. Corbin was most definitely my easiest pregnancy and I quit throwing up by about 17 or 18 weeks, so we have our fingers crossed that relief is just around the corner.

Thanks, Mom, for still being my "Mom" and giving my husband, children, and girlfriends a much needed break from being my caretakers (I have a whole other post for them coming soon) and for never having anything but positive things to say about another baby joining our family. We are pretty super incredibly happy, too.

And also, thanks for making sacrifices and enduring the not-easiness of pregnancy one last time, 30 years ago, so I could be lucky enough to call you my Mom, today. I am grateful for you, and well...wasn't I totally worth it? ;)

A Good Day

Today, we woke up to the first snowfall of the year.
Then, the stars aligned and all the kids went to school, a playdate, and a swap all at the same time. I found my lucky self sitting down for a (quiet/lovely/rare) lunch with Kasey at the Green Bean.

Locals, have you been to this place? It's only open for lunch, but it is quite the gem.

Who thinks to put blackberries, red peppers, blueberries, black grapes and avocado on a hummus on a mesquite smoked turkey sandwich? The lovely little lady who owns the Green Bean, that's who, and she knows what she is doing. She might as well have spread a layer of crack all over that sandwich because I can't stop thinking about when I will be able to go back for another.
The bread for my sandwich was still warm when I ate it.
The pecan bar was devoured instantly. Twice. Because I bought a second one.

The company was excellent. I highly recommend lunch anywhere with Kasey.

The rest of the day included:
-cleaning my kitchen (I've been an organizing fool lately and it is finally starting to pay off)
-a phone call to my sister (hollah Amy! I miss you!)
-a nap
-a surprise package from my parents' trip to London. I had to use serious self restraint to keep from eating the entire package of McVitties cookies (mmmm delicious...and digestive)
-receiving some good advice about having charity (from my friend who knew I needed to hear it today)
-re-mopping a path of about 200 sets of snow covered footprints that ran back and forth from the ourside door to the hallway (right across my clean kitchen floor. I should have known it would snow as soon as I mopped. That'll hopefully teach me to put it off a little longer next time). The kids loved the snow.
-friends coming over to play
-hot chocolate and marshmallows
-a dinner that was served, with love, from the freezer (bless my parents for talking me into that purchase. I don't know how I lived without it.) to my family.
-Relief Society Meeting.

I came home to find everyone asleep and a book waiting for me on the sofa.
It might be 17* outside, but it is a toasty 75* in my living room.
Not a bad Thursday.

How?

After searching all afternoon, and feeling like a crazy person every time I heard it ring, I finally found my phone...

...in the dishwasher.

Winning!

Corbin's Agenda Today and Everyday

1) wake up.
2) wipe snot on Mom's clean shirt.