"I'm Just So Fresh and Clean..."

On Christmas morning, once presents had been opened, and breakfast had been eaten, I rushed around the house in a hurry to finish getting the last minute items packed for our trip.

I opened the dryer to retrieve the finally-dry laundry waiting to be stuffed into a bag and discovered a mysterious pink waxy substance smeared on everything.
Once you become a mother, something happens in the stain-identification dept, and you go from guessing games and assumptions to going right in for the sniff. (ex: are these socks clean? sniff. No. they're not)

Sniff. Sniff.
Sparkly Bubble Gum Scented Lip gloss.
ALL OVER MY WHITES. I now have sparkly pink smeared, bubble gum scented underwear.

How did this happen?
We all know how it happened.
Reese, owner, lover, and leaver around the hous-er of the lipgloss is how it happened.

I was totally irritated that MY laundry had been violated, rather than this happening to hers. Besides, new socks and underwear are totally not as fun to replace.
I already LOATHE the chore of laundry, so my Christmas Day Suprise was less than humorous at the time, so to make myself feel better about my ruined clothes, I lectured both children that all lip gloss is to remain clear of the laundry baskets. (like they were even listening with new barbies AND replacement lip gloss in hand.) AND I add (because this is the SECOND TIME I have had a lip gloss in the laundry incident) that if I FIND any lip gloss in the laundry baskets, I will confiscate it for a week.
SO THERE.
Reese responds with an annoyed "mmmhmmm" and doesn't. even. CARE.
I become even MORE irritated with her, but it's Christmas so I decide to just let it go.
Fast forward to my 20 week ultrasound last week...

"Make-up" is a new discovery for my children and now that they know it exists, they are obsessed with it.
Lip gloss seemed like a happy compromise.

We started out with chapstick, but then Q ate it, and that's just nasty (it was flavored.)
We upgraded to lipgloss, because it rolls on and therefore cannot have bites taken out of it.

This is us in the waiting room at the OB's office.

This is us doing everything we can to keep the kids entertained for like 2 hours while we wait.
and wait and wait and wait.

This is Quincy as she drops the lip gloss through the holes in the basket into the pile of laundry.

What's with my kids' need to unite lipgloss with laundry?

Q whines over the "loss" and tries to figure out how to retreive the imprisoned lipgloss from it's white plastic cage.
Q whines some more and requests the help of Reese, who throws her an "I told you so/look how well behaved I'M being" rejection.
Aaron tells Meg to retrieve the lipgloss from the basket and give it back to now-screaming Quincy.

Meg reminds Aaron of the "new rule" and the Christmas morning lip gloss in laundry episode.

Aaron rolls his eyes, and says to "just give it to her" to keep her quiet because we're all going a little crazy after being cooped up in this tiny room, and it's just not worth it.

Meg informs Aaron that this is the laundry basket where the nurse puts the dirty sheets after she's given a pelvic exam. The white sheets in that basket have had naked lady parts on them.

Meg THEN describes some of da "ladies" she often sees in the waiting room at the OB's office, AND possible reasons THEY might be getting a pelvic exam (rash, growth, mysterious lady goo) just to provide Aaron with a better mental image of what he is not only asking Meg to reach her hand into, but what he wants to allow his daughter to rub all over her mouth.

Aaron opts to abandon lipgloss retreival request and takes the girls out in the hall for fruit snacks and a walk instead.

Good bye lip gloss. You will be replaced.
And my apologies to the women at LifeSpring that will soon find Grape Scented Sparkly lipgloss smeared all over your clean white laundry.