Busted

The garage door made a loud POP! last night when I pushed the button to close the door.
The chain to the opener was hanging in pieces from the mechanism and the result was a loud clanking from the motor and the garage door stuck open, leaving our belongings exposed to the night.

What an unfortunate series of events...or is it? (cue evil eyes and sinister laugh: muahahaha...)

You see, we store the boat in the garage.
Yes. Instead of our 2nd car.
Yes. This arrangement makes me crazy.

Should a prime opportunity such as this ever occur, I knew I would take action.

Much to my chagrin, the husband grew wise to my pre-meditated plan to put a giant "Steal me! I'm FREE!" sign on the boat, with hope that it would mysteriously disappear in the night.

Aaron got up on a ladder and managed to get the door closed manually and my evil scheme was thwarted. Shame.

Any of my local friends have a recommendation for a good fix-it guy? Or a not-so-good fix-it guy? I mean, it wouldn't be the worst thing to have another opportunity to execute my plan.

Knowing my luck, Hoarder Henry would pick it up and I'd still have to stare at it every day, parked in the pile of crap across the street.

"Serenity Now, Insanity Later"

Why do I torture myself and check the weather in California? Why?
Does anyone else do this?

I've snapped.

Arkansas, it's been real, but I am not wired for seasons and you're a schwetty hot mess right now. We are done. No soup for you. NEXT!


tonight's dinner = frozen twinkies.
Gotta mix it up a little.

Signs of Insanity

Reasons to Avoid Me Right Now.

While we were in Ca, The air conditioner leaked, seeped through the subfloors, and flooded the hallway and a bedroom.
Remember how I thought my house smelled like old lady, when I got home?
That's because the flood sat in a hot humid house for 3 weeks, and all of the water damaged walls, carpet and subfloors were growing mildew.

New carpet coming.
Mildew cleaned.
Popcorn ceilings down.
Painting ceilings.
Treating floors and walls.
Painting walls.
Painting book shelves.
Priming and painting trim.
Painting baseboards.
Running out of time and sanity.
Reese has an ear infection.
Everything I own is stacked in my dining room.
I've "slept" on my living room floor for almost a week.
I'm about to crack.
Oh, and everything in my house is covered in a thin, white layer of dust, so I kind of look like I'm ON crack, too.

Now accepting prayers, positive energy, and free labor.

Hurricane Quincy Returns

Today has been utter chaos.

About 90% of it was spent following Quincy around, cleaning up her disasters. And while I cleaned one up, she made a mess somewhere else. I tried having her help, but sometimes...well it just wasn't happening.

Finally I pulled her off the table for the third time and put her in her crib.
She fell asleep.

By the time I'd finished damage control, (markers, toys, emptied glue, silverware drawer, hand soap, sock drawer, three 1/2 eaten apples a piece of slimy cheese and one basket of strawberries with one bite taken out of each, 2 rolls of toilet paper, ponies, stickers, a booklet of stamps turned into stickers...) she was awake.

awake and angry.

What. the. heck.

Anyone want an almost 3 year old for the night?

Anyone?

It's been a looooong day.

I love her, but dang. I had high hopes of productivity today, and they've been squashed by the beast! My house is in a state of disaster.

And as I typed this I had to pause because she drew on her leg, threw a book, and bit Reese on the toe.
Pray for me. There are 2 hours left until bedtime.
I don't know if I'm gonna make it.

Actually, I don't know if SHE is gonna make it.
Pray for HER...

gotta go. Someone is crying.

"Nothings Gonna Stop Us Now..."

Reese was kind enough to teach baby sis that if something is out of reach, you go get the stool from the bathroom sink and use it to give yourself a boost....and also, drawers are no longer off-limits, apparently.
It's hard to believe that I just organized these bathroom drawers 2 weeks ago, because they look like junk drawers now. She's like MacGyver, that girl. There is a very good possibility that she is building some kind of explosive device in the back of her closet from all the floss and Qtips she swipes.
Her goal?
1) Take everything out of the drawer and leave it on the floor.
2) ...except for the pokiest, most toxic item, with the really sharp edge...that is to be carried around the house in her kung-fu death grip. 3) Do this when said item is taken away:

We had her first little tantrum the other day, after taking away a permanent marker, a sharpie, to be exact. The name alone gives it more stealth than the other pens, which is, I think, why she went for it, first. My favorite part (other than the dramatic hand over her forehead) was that she called for Reese when she realized the rest of us weren't going to give her the attention she was hoping to get. Reese just kind of looked at her. I'm sure she was thinking..."that wimpy cry isn't going to get you ANYthing, Sweetheart. You're gonna have to pull out the big guns and hold your breath till you pass out, make your eyes bleed, bang your head on the driveway, throw up, or at least pee on the carpet before those guys will cave. Quit your belly aching... it's just pathetic."
We had a good laugh, but I'm no dummy. Quincy is merely a young jedi in training, and still has a lot to learn from her master-tantrum-thrower-older sister.

I've spent most of this week collecting nail clippers, nail files, hair clippies, toothbrushes, toothpaste, silverware, measuring cups, Tupperware, DVD's, socks, tampons, diapers, and shoes from all over the house. I seriously need to relocate my knives, quickly. No no, not because I'm worried that Quincy will hurt herself with one of them. She will leave it strategically placed in a high traffic area of my room, so I'll step on it and hurt MYself the next time I get up to go pee in the dark...which reminds me that I think I'm due for a tetanus shot.

In other Willy House happenings, I made the CUTEST little Christmas cards with Kasey yesterday, while the kids were napping and Aaron was golfing. You know your kids have had WAAAAAY too much Halloween candy when you wake up to discover that several of the little red pom-pom noses have been picked off the reindeer on your Christmas cards by your children, and sucked on because they looked like free candy. You would think that after one, they would have realized that candy is not furry and does not taste like glue, but they each ate a fair share of the unused pink pom-poms before moving on. I think the Halloween Witch is going to HAVE to come to our house tonight, (against Aaron's will, who claims I got the idea for the Halloween Witch from Communist Manifesto) and eliminate the possibility of mysterious "leftover candy" for the kids.

I am utterly disappointed in my daughters for their lack of candy discernment. Seriously...pink and red tiny pom-poms? They didn't even touch the brown ones...which clearly would have been the chocolate. Better luck next year, girls.