"Burn Like Fire In Cairo..."

WHAT. THE. HECK.

I am officially the caretaker for the geriatric demographic in my neighborhood.

This afternoon, Ross and Marge's Smoke Alarm went off. Remember what happened last time?

I wasn't about to fall into THAT trap and find myself looking at another Naked Marge...
But 5 minutes went by...and the alarm just kept getting louder, and louder. How do I NOT check up on them?

I threw on Aaron's shoes and ran over there, letting myself in through the back door, which was wide open.

Ross and Marge are just SITTING there in a CLOUD of smoke watching tv. Really, so much smoke that I put my arm up over my face to breathe. The smoke alarm is beeping well beyond comfort level.

"Hey! Everything ok in here?"

They just stared at me. "Of course, honey, what's going on?"

THEY DIDN'T EVEN HEAR THE FREAKING ALARM BLARING THROUGH THE HOUSE!

Me: Guys, your smoke alarm has been going off for several minutes, and it is very smoky in here, is something burning?

Ross: Oh MY! The steaks!

Yes, that's right, Ross was pan frying LIVER STEAKS on his stove, sat down for a break, and forgot about them. They were charred.

I grabbed a dishtowel and shut the stupid alarm off, then turned on some ceiling fans and opened more windows (HOW the smoke didn't get to them is beyond me...I was DYING to get outta there.) then calmed their dog down, who had also been barking up a storm and freaking out.

"Ok, well I'm glad everyone is ok, I just heard the alarm and couldn't help but come over and check on you after a few minutes when it didn't turn off. Let me know if you need anything."

They thanked me, and on my way out the door I heard them conversing, "such a sweet girl... How on earth did she hear that thing? Did you hear it? No, I thought I heard a car alarm so I turned up the tv when I couldn't hear the news...My golly that girl must have extra ears in the back of her head...."

The smoke alarm went off two more times after that.
Even their dog stopped caring.