Or how about "a haircut after midnight", which seems to be when I do my best work. Aaron was looking pretty scruffy and we'd ignored the clippers for far too long. The last 3 times I have cut A's hair, I swore I'd never cut his hair that late at night again....at least not until he starts leaving me a better tip.
But again, a few nights ago, we put the kids in bed at 7, and started to watch Elf, but were both asleep by 7:30. I woke up at 12:30 and had somewhat an out of body experience. I was so confused. Where was I? What time is it? How long ago did the movie end? Wait, what movie were we even watching? Man, I feel like I've been drugged. I'm so tired, and so so so comfortable. My bedroom down the hall seems like it's miles away...I could just sleep here on the sofa a little longer. Ok, five more minutes here and then I'll get up and go to bed. Maybe ten more minutes. Really...I'll go...eventually...
And then I realized that THIS must be what it feels like to be Aaron! He falls asleep EVERY night on the sofa by 8, and then when I am ready go to bed I spend 10 minutes trying to wake him up enough to turn off the lights and wander down the hall with me. Half the time, he is so "out" that he says silly things to me, and it takes a 3rd or 4th attempt before he actually is conscious enough to realize where he is and why the wifey is barking at him.
So I realized finally where I was, and that it was past midnight. I woke Aaron up and was given the response, "Hey, do you think you could give me a haircut?"
Seriously? A haircut? now? It's 12:30. No way, man. Pull an Edward and put a whole can of mousse in that hair and make it work for you for one more day. You can even put some baby powder on your face, eat a red popcicle and maybe the ladies at the office will swoon.
He didn't think that was as funny as I did, as he has to stare at the Twilight movie poster all day, as there is one hung up on the wall in his assistant's cube right across from his.
Usually when I get the post-midnight haircut request, it is rejected unless Aaron has some important meeting, or is flying out of town the next day and the haircut can not be postponed longer than the duration of his trip. This time I had 5 hours of sleep and, now that I was awake, I felt like I'd had a full night of rest. So again, I gave a haircut in the middle of the night. They always seem to turn out better than those that I do in the afternoon, or right after the kids have gone to bed.
The 3:30am "Hey, I need a haircut and then a ride to the airport. By the way I'm going to be in Dallas for about 5 days"-haircut still takes the cake for my best work ever. Aaron got an ear full of my wrath while every possible mean thing I could think to say came out like "word vomit" as I snipped away at his too-long locks. He happily took a cab to the airport at 4:30.
Which brings us back to the present. And so, out of love for my husband, dislike of his too-long hair, and since I was already wide awake I went ahead and gave a haircut...yet again in the middle of the night.
Why not just go to the barber? He did about 6 weeks ago. At that point, most of my evenings were spent with me in bed ridiculously early, or with my head in the toilet throwing up. Knowing every last ounce of energy was being spent on caring for our children and attempting to keep up with laundry, he went to a salon and payed $20 for a terrible haircut. He knew I was far too exhausted to do anything but try and keep food down, and therefore didn't even ask. He also brought me home fried food that night. That's better than flowers, baby.
But now that I am feeling a lot better, and almost totally functioning, I return to my haircutting duties as resident beautician. My reasons:
1) I am cheap. My hair cuts are mostly free. All I require is a thank you and a kiss, and sometimes one of us will treat ourself to a movie or lunch with friends later with part of the $20 we saved.
2) Aside from the time I yelled at him the whole haircut (did I mention that I had JUST gotten our baby to sleep through the night, and would have to wake her up to take him to the airport? or that we lived in WI and a blizzard had just blown through, dumping another 10 inches of snow on the ground?) yeah, aside from that time, giving Aaron a haircut is some of our best conversation time. I always wait to cut hair until kids are in bed, because my little darlings can't help but run through the pile of hair on the floor and track it through the house, leaving a gross mess. And Q likes to eat the hair, and that's double gross. We don't answer the phone if it rings, because my hands are full, and Aaron is, well getting a haircut. And we're in the kitchen, where there is no TV, radio or other noise to drown out conversation.
No distractions.
No interruptions.
Just us. Finally alone, and having a date with a pair of scissors in the kitchen.
I hate cutting hair in the middle of the night, but there is something romantic about grooming the person you love.
And MY groom is well groomed indeed.
And MY groom is well groomed indeed.
I also gave Pieces a haircut the next day. It's pretty cute. Now if only I could get a haircut, and if Quin could grow enough hair to need a haircut, we would be set.
