Little Things

Reese (with arms wrapped around my torso in an endless super hug): "Mom, Mrs. Pledger read a book about um "Did You Fill A Bucket Today?" and she said that everyone has an invisible bucket that they carry around. If you say something nice to someone else, or give them a hug or something, it fills up their bucket and makes them happy. AND, guess what? She said doing nice things fills your own bucket, too! Is that real? It sounds good."

Oh, how I love her.
I'm grateful for the innocence of children. I am especially grateful that before snuggling up in my lap for a hug or kiss, my children never stop for a moment to assess what kind of mother I was that day, or whether I am deserving of their affection. They don't care what kind of mother I was. They just fold their little bodies into my arms and share all the love they have in their hearts with me, because to them, I am always good enough. I need their example of unbiased, unconditional, and totally boundless love to keep my cynical, skeptical, and often crazy and irrational side at bay.
I am so lucky to have my family.

Here are a few recent "little things" from my 30 days of appreciation for Aaron:
-cleaned the garage. This was no small task. It isn't finished, but a significant dent was made.
-hauled the trash to the curb.
-dinner "warming on the stove" (1950's housewife style) and ready to be eaten right when he walks in the door and says, "Lucy, I'm home!", every night this week.
-put the mattress warmer on the bed and turned his side of the bed to "warm" 20 minutes before he went to bed, so the sheets weren't cold.

This week's intentional acts of kindness have resulted in more peace in our home. Whether we recognize the process or not, gratitude generally follows the rules of reciprocity. It is amazing how intentionally expressing love for one person---even in the simplest way, like a pair of new socks or a little handwritten note, can result in buckets so full they spill over the brim to everyone in the family.

Yes, Reese, invisible buckets are real.

Thanks for filling mine today, Dolly.

A Day Date

Yesterday, Aaron and I redeemed a babysitting swap and went to Oklahoma City.

We went to the temple and ate lunch at The Cheesecake Factory.

I know, right? It was a long drive, but wonderful nonetheless. 8 hours alone in the car to have uninterrupted grown up conversation does a marriage good. Aaron's love language is Quality Time, so making arrangements to spend an entire day together is a big deal. The scenery on the way to OKC is usually a little boring, but taking the trip during the peak of fall colors provided a breathtaking backdrop of colorful foliage. Occasionally, thousands of black birds would paint a ribbon across the grey sky, silencing our banter long enough for us to just watch and enjoy the beauty of the season.
I can't think of a better way for us to kick off this month of gratitude than doing a little service, renewing covenants, eating cheesecake, reflecting on our own blessings, and singing along obnoxiously to our favorite road trip jams.

{Little Things}

Day 6: redbox (of his choice) and gourmet popcorn (garlic and parmesan...also his choice) date at home.

Day 7: Dry erase markers are perfect for writing notes on the bathroom mirror. Easy to read and the ink wipes right off with a paper towel. Leave your love a note of appreciation this week. You might be surprised to walk in the bathroom later and find a note for you, in return :)

On Day 4

Surprise!

Tickets have been reserved for the grand opening of the Crystal Bridges Museum of American Art in Bentonville. Our family + our besties + dinner at the Station Cafe on the town square + a great collection of art in an incredible building = an all American day! We can't wait.

The best part? Thanks to a 20 Million dollar donation from Walmart Inc., entrance to the museum is free, and always will be. (You still have to make reservations because there were a limited # of tickets available.) Hooray for a free museum! Thanks for the great family date, Walmart!

{Little Things}

Day 4: a package of his favorite socks arrived.

{Little Things}

Day 1: steel cut oats for breakfast (his fave)

I've got the crockpot system down to a science, now.
1) put 1 cup of steel cut oats (NOT rolled oats) and 4 cups of water in a mini (NOT full size) crockpot before you go to bed (this is great for a night you are late getting to bed).
2) Set to "keep warm" (NOT low).
3) enjoy hot breakfast 6-8 hrs later. If it's too thick, add some milk. and brown sugar. yum.

Day 2: a haircut

On Love and Gratitude

Can I just say that Aaron is a rock star?
I know it is sort of (really) lame to brag about your spouse a ton on a blog, but the support he's given me lately deserves to be credited. The past few months have not been easy for me and Aaron's help has been a constant reminder of how much I need him, how grateful I am for him, and why I married him.

He makes me laugh, every day. He is my friend. He supports my relationship with my Savior. He not only puts up with my wild, creative and artistic endeavors, but he encourages them. He is grateful. He reminds me to let bad moments be just that---bad moments, and to let them pass without allowing them to spoil good moments. He is a good example in all things. He respects me as an equal partner in our marriage and as a parent. He wakes up insanely early, works hard, and when he comes home he works here---all to provide me and our children with a life that we love. And he's damn good looking.

And so, in honor of a man that brings me so much happiness I am giving happiness back.
The next 30 days are dedicated to Aaron.

Not because it's a holiday.
Not because it's his birthday.
Just because.
-because he deserves it.
-because he does so much for me.
-because he loves me.
-because I love him back.

Random acts of service go a long way. We all try to do "little things" for people we love to show them we appreciate them. In marriage, however, it is so easy to be lazy and forget to appreciate our spouse. We take their "they're always there"-ness for granted and focus our energy on more needy situations, like the children or laundry or clogged toilets (gross). Less important but more immediate needs often suck our attention and even our gratitude, while our loved one sits on the back burner like a pot of soup (mmm soup). We stop by the pot occasionally, but only to take and be filled enough to carry on with our tasks, and days can go by without us adding any "little things" back into the pot.

Somehow, my metaphors make their way back to food. I can't help it.
Anyway, it's time to feed the pot, if you will. Add some appreciation to the soup.

Do you have someone that you love and appreciate?
Wanna play along?
Join me in 30 days of Gratitude and Appreciation.
1) Tell your spouse (or someone you cherish) daily that you love them and appreciate them.
2) Do something nice for your spouse (or someone you love) every day for 30 days.

I have a list of "little things" started and will post about many of them, but here are some ideas to get you started. Remember that people give and receive love in different ways (ever read the 5 love languages? words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, acts of service, and gifts) so try to be aware of your spouse's language and incorporate more of those ideas when you show appreciation.

-make him a hot breakfast
-pack his lunch for a week
-write a note on the bathroom mirror
-iron his shirt
-put away the laptop, ipad, phone, etc and watch a movie together
-wash or clean out his car
-give him a massage
-plan and make all the arrangements for a date
-bake a favorite dessert or prepare a favorite meal
-offer to stay with the kids so he can relax, read, take a nap, go to the gym, shop, go to a movie with some friends, etc.
-commit to refrain from criticising, complaining, or saying anything negative at all for 24 hours
-do something romantic
-write him a note or letter
-organize his side of the closet
-make him a cd of his favorite songs (haha remember the FRIENDS episode where chandler gave Monica a mixed tape with Janice singing on it?)
-do a household chore that he usually takes care of but doesn't particularly enjoy.

You might have to get creative to find time to do some of these things. Cleaning his car, for example, isn't really an act of love and appreciation if you abandon him with the children for an hour during the busiest part of the day to go take his car through the car wash, know what I mean? Try to plan a few days ahead to make sure you can think things through and give true appreciation.

What are some little things you do to show appreciation?
Leave a comment to share a few ideas of your own, even if you aren't committing to the 30 days thing. Everyone likes to be appreciated in different ways, so it will be great for us all get a few fresh ideas from the comment thread.