Re: Re

Re: as in, a response to the post about taking a "Re" day.

First, nothing terrible happened.
I used to take a lot of time on Sundays to lie around being lazy, nap, read, cook a big family dinner and reflect on the week I've had and the week that lies ahead.  Now it often feels like Sundays are very full that time is not my own. I am fine with this arrangement as Sundays are really not my day of rest to begin with, but God's day. I am a happy servant doing His work on the Sabbath and I hope He is pleased with my efforts to help Primary run smoothly.  I have a lot to learn and am humbled regularly by my lack of knowledge and leadership skills, but the many miracles I've been privileged to witness during the past few months testify to me that I am serving in the right calling.

Rescind then Recharge: 
Aaron has always been a wonderful example to me of someone who labors willingly for the Lord on Sundays.  I am inspired by his enthusiasm to fill the Sabbath with service. I am someone who still craves that whole "day of rest" (read: sweatpants and a lazy Sunday nap.) concept a bit and mourns the slow mornings/afternoons and time to do some of the things that recharge my spirit. For balance, I'm simply rescinding some of my mid-week availability and choosing a few days each month to just black out my calendar and be "unavailable" so I can do all the Re things that I used to do on the day of rest.  So far, I haven't managed to keep those days totally free and clear of responsibility, and I do have a husband and four children that I'd like to keep, so these days are not a vacation by any means, but Sundays never were completely restful either, so using part of an additional day to finish recharging is working out just wonderfully.

Rescue:

When I bake bread I feel like myself….nay, I feel like the woman I want to be, and that feels good because doing what we want to become is what gets us there, right?
Who cares if that's the right way, in this case, there is bread involved, so of course it is right. 

 

After Soren's birth, a week of dinners came to my door, courtesy of my angel friends. This service played a significant role in a speedy recovery and I try to pay it forward/return the favor when friends of mine have babies. Who has time to cook when there is a newborn to snuggle and an ice pack to sit on?  Giving and receiving of compassionate service feeds my testimony with a feast of love and charity for others.  I took meals two two friends with newborns this week and the pleasure really was mine. 

Reading:

I'm not usually one for the "self help" genre, but I have to say that there are treasures of wisdom on every page of this book, so far. I borrowed it at the advice of a friend and it was perfect for my Re day last Tuesday.  This book is a useful tool for defining boundaries to avoid feeling stuck in or abused by toxic relationships.  Do you have people in your life who leave you in a perpetual "fog" (fear, obligation, guilt)?  Even if you don't, you might know someone who does and the gems in this book can help liberate them from the slavery of unhappiness.
For me, I needed to read this as a reminder of the difference between being brother's keeper and feeling responsible for the choices of others. Well written, uplifting,  empowering, encouraging, and most importantly it isn't driven by "rightness" like so many books in this genre do. It's not about being justified or in the right and doesn't use anger as self preservation but instead uses values of love, respect, and awareness as tools to help you (me) cultivate peace and balance.  Many of the examples revolve around marriages and parent/child dynamics, but the concepts are all the same for friends, coworkers, etc. Anyway, good book. 

Another thing in the Read category is just a fun little thing and I thought I'd share because it might be just what someone else is looking for to add a little more uplifting substance to everyone's favorite time wasters: Facebook and Instagram. I "liked/followed" bofm365 and they post a quick daily Book of Mormon scripture segment (we're talking 10 verses average. Not kidding when I say "quick") and a thought provoking question or two. Anyway, usually when I'm scrolling through my phone it's because I have a few minutes while I'm waiting for the bus or for Corbin's preschool to get out or something. This isn't a time I choose to delve into some deep scripture study or anything, but reading a few verses and grasping a concept or two or sparking a train of thought based on gospel principles…well its just much more uplifting than one of the 100 buzz feed articles that I could be filling those 2 minutes with. Don't get me wrong, I love me some quality time wasting but it's nice to have a little prompt and reading assignment right in your face at the top of the news feed every time I turn to my phone for entertainment.  Find bofm365 on IG or FB and add it, even if just to have something more meaningful in your newsfeed for all those times when you "just have two minutes". 

Repent, Receive. 

The sharing time lesson last Sunday was about the Atonement. In preparing for her lesson, my friend shared a quote with me and the theme was to "just keep trying." The Visiting Teaching message this month was similar. Failure and disappointment are a part of God's plan so we can grow and gain knowledge, compassion, patience, long suffering, gratitude, perseverence and forgiveness.  Sometimes, I feel like I'm failing to be the kind of mother, wife, friend, daughter, neighbor, servant that I want to to be and that feels like I am failing God with my inability to fill the measure of my potential. I remembered this week that He knows we will make mistakes---it's supposed to happen. It's part of the plan! All we can do is repent and try again to do our best.  If we were all perfect, we wouldn't need Jesus. But we aren't perfect, and we do need Him and he is there for us, all of the time. 

I'm thankful for the Atonement.  It doesn't just cover my own sins and shortcomings, but every hurt that happens everywhere to everyone, even the unfortunate things that happen that are totally beyond my control. I feel happy when I accept the gift of weightlessness as I hand over the heaviness of burdens I do not wish to carry any longer to Jesus Christ and trust in Him to bear them.

Update (yeah, an update before even posting, since I started this post over a week ago…sad!): I gave the sharing time lesson today, also about the Atonement and ended up crying as I was overwhelmed with the Spirit testifying of the truth in what I was teaching the kids.  I kept it together enough to continue teaching, but probably not enough to keep them from feeling uncomfortable as I sniffled away up there.  Those poor kids! I don't mind crying, but I don't like making other people uncomfortable, which I'm sure they were as I stood up there crying. It's just that as I prepared to teach 100 children from ages 3-12 about the Atonement, and searched for ways to make the concept of a Savior understandable to them, the more I realized how perfect this gift really is and how it truly covers all sins, sadness, shortcomings, suffering, and sorrow, for adults and children alike. 

Redo: 

Last week I said, "see you never" to the many shades of green paint in the loft, which my children appropriately call "the green room"
Before: 

After:

The "green" room is now Sherwin Williams Aloof Grey and will soon come to life with family portraits, the children's artwork, and a built in book case that I'm designing to fit into the nook of the cape cod ceiling. 

While I was at it, I threw some grey up on the other walls and I'm sold. I did something I've never done before and hired someone else to come to the vaulted ceilings for me. DIY was no match for opportunity cost. 

Before:

After

I liked the results so much I burned some midnight oil and painted the kitchen on thursday night. My home is finally starting to feel like it's mine and reflects my personality a little more.

Rest: 
A mother of 4 can easily forget what rest is. Anyone can. My visiting teacher came by last week and shared an old quote about wearing business as a badge, as if it it something to be proud of or awarded.  I've been finding a better balance between running around non-stop and taking time out for silly things, things that bring my family peace, and things that are totally non-things. We could fill any day up with useless idleness. I'm trying to make my "rest" time more effective by scheduling it, and staying committed to not booking appointments or adding "to-do's" to that time. I like to create, read, or nap for rest, so rather than just plopping down anywhere, I've spent a little more time indulging in things that make those activities more enriching and enjoyable. A cup of hot chocolate and a fire. Putting my phone on silent. Reading motivating and uplifting material.

Recognize: 
It's been a really good month. Some hard things and some wonderful things have happened and I'm just grateful I set aside some time to take it all in and process.
-I got to hold and smell the freshness two newborns that were just days old.
-I felt blessed with patience and empathy as my children as they each went through a round of the 12 hr tummy bug in the last month.
-I went for a run for the first time in months and got a haircut (also for the first time in many months)

-I chased a wild little chicken and dog fight through the woods. It was sort of hilarious. Poor Nugget. She's a scrappy one, that hen. 
-We threw a dinner group that felt like a flop (people went home at 8:45pm…that's NEVER happened before! Where did we go wrong?) Everyone seemed to have a good time, but then it ended early and a little abruptly, and very unlike any other social gathering we've ever hosted.
-I watched a few friends experience great stress or sadness and handle it with grace and gratitude.
-I hosted a spontaneous girls night/baby shower and helped a new friend build a network of women to harvest support from.
-I watched a friend who was once deeply hurt find love again.
-I watched my baby become a not-so-much-of-a-baby-anymore as he learned to walk.
-I surprised Reese and ate lunch at school with her. 
-I made homemade meyer lemon custard, raspberry sauce and baked french toast bread pudding for days at 1am Sunday morning for the Mission Prep class, and then left the house for a meeting before getting to try any of it. Aaron saved me a piece and it was heavenly. Diabetes on a plate for the win! 
-I added an adorable new student to my preschool.
-I'm happy that my best friend has her husband home for the week after a long time apart because of work schedule. 
-I soaked up a bunch of sunlight over a windy but SIXTY degree weekend, baby!  Take that -6*!
-I got to see a friend's new house

-I am inspired by my presidency and some choice primary workers who come through each and every week, going above and beyond what is asked, all to bless the children in my ward.
-I had lunch with a friend who has been too sick lately to do most of the things that bring her happiness, but seeing her out and about and feeling good brought me hope for her that more good days are in her future. 
-My dad walked a 5K on saturday and felt great, after having new stents put in his arteries only 2 months ago.

-Aaron and I worked together as a perfect team today as we got to all of our meetings.

This post is all over the place but I'm jut going to publish it because I'm out of time. So much has happened in this whirlwind month to people I care about. I could never list them all.

Here is what I do want to say: 
As I witness or experience all of these really really good things and really really bad things, and make time to take them all in for what they are and what they can teach me, two recognizably common threads between them all is that the moments are all fleeting and the final result is always joy.  Even the friends experiencing long-suffering and what (to them) must seem like an eternal misery have experienced breaks of happiness to give them a hope that will help them weather the rest of their personal storms. The worst things I've seen happen lately were pretty terrible but still followed with great happiness.  What would all of the trials be for if we did not take some time to rest and recognize the blessings and accept the offerings of joy that are given to us.  I'm so grateful that bad things do not last forever.  My days of rest are giving me peace and perspective and those things, partnered with gratitude recharge me for another week of hyper-speed.