What's Wrong With Miracle Whip.

Notice that this post title is written as a statement, rather than a question.

This one's for Angie and all you other miracle whip lovers out there. (I know who you are!)

Let's get one thing straight. Miracle Whip is gross, and I think I have a pretty fair argument.

Fact: Miracle Whip is NOT mayonaise. At all.

To illustrate this, I have come up with an analogy:

Miracle Whip : Mayo :: Root Beer : Dr. Pepper

1) See? Not the same thing.
2) One is preferred over the other only by people who have once lived in Utah or Idaho.
3) While the two products appear to serve a similar purpose, one is not an acceptible substitute for the other.

Fact: Miracle Whip is living a lie.
Really, the packaging should just say, "Bottled Fraud".
Why? Because Miracle Whip is not mayo, but it pretends to be, and what's worse--- it doesn't even do a good job as a fake!

Yet, there are so many people out there who have accepted this stolen identity, that it continues to get away with it's evil facade. The victims being what-could-have-been delicious, non-soggy sandwiches, fallen to tangy weirdness that can only be described as, "what's wrong with this sandwich? Did the meat spoil? Why is is sour?"


Down with Miracle Whip!
I say, "Bring out the Best Foods and Bring out the Best!"