Fair Play

The County Fair.
Never been.
Never been to ANY fair.
I thought the Gilroy Garlic Festival counted, but after learning that REAL fairs involve animals, I realize that I have never truly had the experience. Did you know kids can earn money for college by showing animals at the fair? Seriously. That's awesome.

So...when in Rome, right? I'm in the South. I will go to the Co
I entered 6 items in the Benton County Fair on Monday.
Really.
Why not, right? My MiMa's Jalapeno Jelly is boss. It deserves a blue ribbon on it.

So it took me like an HOUR to drive out to the fairgrounds.
THEN I had to wait in line for an hour in the Exibit Hall. No. Not the ExHibit Hall.
The Exibit Hall.
Really.
See for yourself
Then THIS sweet little lady took my items and placed them on the shelves next to 100 other jars that look EXACTLY THE SAME.
By MY jelly tastes better than any of THOSE jellies. MY jelly has the secret ingredient.
Grandma's love.
Just kidding. It really does have secret ingredients.
"My jelly will win." I thought smugly as she placed among the 100's on the shelf.
"Ok, you're all set. You can pick up your items on Sunday." said she.
Pick them up? Why would I want them back after folks have been diggin' in them and stuff? Ew. No thanks.
"You mean people actually want them back after they've been tasted? Why? For the jars?"

"Oh they don't taste them, honey...everything is judged based on LOOKS"

They Don't. Taste. The Jelly.

What's the point, then?
THEY ALL LOOK THE SAME.
Hundreds of them.

It's like a beauty pageant for jelly!

"Wait. What? What do you mean you don't TASTE them? I called my Grandma this morning. She's expecting a ribbon, man."

How will anyone know that mine is better?
Did I mention that they all look the same?
The lady at the booth then reminded me to bring my self addressed envelope with me on Friday to the fair, so that if (by some miracle, now) I DO win, they can mail me my PRIZE MONEY.

Prize money? For Jam?
Now we're talking.

"Money?" my spirits have lifted, "How much?"

"Well, let's see, it's three dollars for first place, two dollars for second, and one dollar for third place."

Really.

The county fair is starting to sound like a sham.
But I WILL go back on Friday.
First, to chaperon Reese's preschool field trip, so she can see more of these:
Second, to see if I won. Because if I did, "I want my two dollars!"
and Third, because I saw this on the way out:
I must have some.