"What You Don't Have, You Don't Need It Now..."

The theme for 2009 in our house is Balance. Balancing time, energy, happy and sad, work and relaxation, existential parenting and "tyrannical dictator" parenting (or as we call it: commando parenting...which is when we pull a full blown iron-fist blitz on an unruly, much-too-sassy child.), togetherness and nights out with "the guys"/gal pals, oatmeal vs. rocky road for breakfast....

We have so many choices to make every day. There are so many things that can be accomplished this year, I don't want them to not be done simply because I neglected to set aside time to do them. This includes house projects, personal goals, and family preparedness, but it also includes vacations, trips to the zoo, and little fun things we'd "like to do someday". It is far too easy to spend a Saturday "hanging around", doing separate activities in opposite ends of the house (or opposite ends of the same sofa-it doesn't matter-if we weren't interacting, we might as well have been on separate planets) instead of enjoying the hours we have to spend with one another. On the flip side, we have also spent many Saturdays wiring a bathroom, mowing lawns, sanding furniture, and doing other things that left us too busy or too tired and we missed out on opportunities for personal growth, a much needed nap, or an extra 20 minutes jumping in those leaves. We need more balance.
Balance between what HAS to be done, what we WANT to do, WANTING to do what HAS to be done....and time leftover to do absolutely NOTHING at all. My kids are growing up so fast, I don't want to wake up one day and ask "where did the time go? and what the heck did I do with it?"

I used think, when I heard of all the things my Mom could accomplish in one day-while working, juggling a husband, five kids, and a calling, that Mothers must have more hours in their day than the average human being. Otherwise, how did she get so much "done" in one day...and still be laughing?

That's not exactly how it goes. We don't have more hours, it's just that the hours when we're sleeping, on a date, curled up with a rosy-cheeked, snuggle-bug, just bathed baby, reading a good book, or dancing around the living room to a favorite song with Snow White and Cinderella, taking a shower, or putting actual makeup on-those hours are SHORTER than normal people hours.

The hours that we are folding the laundry, comforting a sick child, watching the minutes until Daddy comes home, changing a "too many fruit snacks" diaper, teaching sisters that they love each other more than they love the plastic singing dollhouse baby crib, waiting in while Leon, the chatty Walmart cashier tells everyone his life story's check out line while both your kids are crying and you have to pee and you are running late for wherever it is you need to be and your cell phone battery is dead, holding hair back and vomiting into a toilet (or bush, or trash can, or minivan), scrubbing POO out of the carpet, "on hold" with the POA office, pumping gas that is $4 a gallon, or waiting out an ugly temper tantrum...those hours just last LONGER than normal human hours. Those are the moments when we think "Oh. My. Gosh. Is this day EVER going to end? What did I even DO today?"

I think the point is not to ask ourselves, "Did I get ANYthing accomplished today?" but instead, "Did I enjoy what I did today?" There is a difference.
If I spent the entire day painting bathrooms and the kids were neglected, but survived and I have big plans play with them tomorrow, then YES. I had a successful day. I enjoyed my day. If I did nothing but hang out under a tent in the middle of the living room with my kids, leaving bills to be paid tomorrow and instead taking a nap while my kids do. YES. I had a successful day. I enjoyed my day. As long as I actually DO the things planned for tomorrow...this is a justifiably wonderful system. It works for us.
I think my mother was able to "get so much done" because she didn't let the fact that we were already 30 minutes late for school ruin her day. Instead, she made the most of the extra time we had to spend in the car together, and stopped off for a Big Gulp (I know now why she needed it) and grabbed a bagel for me to eat while we made the 20 minute drive out to my elementry school because I had missed the bus. Of course I had consequences later for making us late that morning, but she didn't let her anger or frustration with me spoil our time together. We were already late, might as well embrace it. How nice it would be to have a 20 minute drive in the car with my mom, a Big Gulp, and some bagels with cream cheese right now! She clearly had a better understanding of time and balance than I do.

So that's what we're trying to do. Enjoy doing what needs to be done, and work a little harder to get everything we want to see accomplished in 2009.

Totally worth missing sleep for.