Burning Bush?

SO yesterday we decided to get some yard work done because it was so beautiful outside. (80 degrees at the end of October!) Anyway, I tore up a long patch of grass along our walkway and am hoping to get some bulbs or something planted there this week before it gets cold. While I was doing that, Quincy ate grass and Reese dug around in the dirt looking for "ladybugs" (bright green and orange grubs that the dirt beneath our lawn is totally infested with). Aaron decided it would be a good time to break in the chainsaw he bought from his friend this spring.

Now, earlier in the day he had borrowed one of those long tree saw-on-a-pole things from our neighbor and cut down two branches that were hitting our roof. I was impressed because the branches were like 20 feet in the air and pretty large so it was quite an ordeal for him to cut them down. Plus he saved us $60, which was the estimate I had gotten for their removal by a local tree trimming service.

I suggested that Aaron use his chainsaw to cut up the larger portions of the branch and put them in our firewood pile (we were able to heat the house with our wood burning stove for most of last winter and it saved us a TON on our electric bill, so we plan on doing that again this year)....which is WHY Aaron bought the chainsaw in the first place. He wants to cut up firewood in all the spare time he never has...on the days off he never has. It's really a brilliant plan.)
Anyway, does he cut up the 2 enormous branches that are now sprawled across our (and our new neighbor's) backyards? Nope. He takes the chainsaw to the ugly bush by the front door.

Now remember, our house was once owned by a thousand year old lady named Dorothy before we bought it, and all of the lovely 1970's decorating was, I'm sure, hand selected by her. I frequently joke about the house being haunted by Dorothy's spirit. With all of my remodeling, by now her spirit has got to be pretty dang upset with us for disturbing her beautiful Brady Bunch inspired interiors. Apparently the ugly bush by our front door was also a favorite of Dorothy's because her spirit was REALLY angry to see it go.

Again, I really wish my camera wasn't broken because i would LOVE to provide the world with visuals of yesterday's events...my commentary just doesn't do it justice.

Aaron had been watching a football game in the moments before he was inspired to get rid of the Dorothy bush, and in his excitement to play with the new chainsaw, he forgot to put shoes on. This wouldn't have mattered had he listened to me when I warned him that the ugly bush was FULL OF STICKERS! Aaron was about halfway through the trunk when he realized what was happening...

Remember in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets when Harry stabs Tom Riddles Journal with the Basilisk fang and the journal like...dies and bleeds everywhere? I swear the ugly bush did the same thing!
Dorothy left Horcruxes in my house!
The inside of the ugly bush is this wicked fluorescent yellow color and it spewed tiny yellow stickers-of-death all over the porch and into Aaron's exposed hands and feet as he carved it out of the ground.

He is still limping today and I'm pretty sure there are still a few stickers left in his big toe. If you ask him about the incident he will only tell you that "the ugly bush from our front yard is the state plant in HELL".

And thus ended the great "Gather Your Own Firewood Experiment".