Comprehensive Coverage

Living in Bella Vista has really given me a new appreciation for nature. I've always appreciated the beautiful scenery our planet has to offer us, but I think that's mostly because I grew up in such a beautiful place. When I moved to Utah I learned to appreciate rivers, really really, green grass, and the mountains. And I discovered that I hate snow. I learned in Boise that I REALLY hate snow... and in Wisconsin, I learned that snow is punishment for people too stupid to not live in places like Green Bay. Most people who know me, know that when everyone else is giddy and blissful about the first snow of the year, I am at home cursing under my breath and putting on my pink sweatpants. But moving here has really helped me come to an agreement with the snow. I no longer LOATHE the "heaven sent, fluffy white, cotton blanket-like, candy-land, winter wonderland, sugar sprinkled (these are all euphemisms that snow-lovers use in their feeble attempts to change my opinion when they hear of my distaste for the weather) scenery the way I used to. Now that I live here, where it snows for 2 days, stays for 2 days, then disappears for 12 months, I can appreciate snow a little.

Unfortunately, this means I have had no place to direct all my anger for the last 8 months. I used to blame everything on snow...(well, snow and cub scouts, but I got released from cub scouts when I had Quincy) so now I REALLY don't have anything to complain about.

Until saturday night.
I have a new foe.

I used to like deer. They are meek and mild (just like the primary song about Jesus) They don't make obnoxious noise. They don't get close enough to stink up your yard. They make nice decor for my friend's nursery (yep, in arkansas it's socially acceptable to hang a deer head above the baby crib...right next to the gun cabinet...seriously.) I've eaten venison a few times at friends houses (usually disguised as taco salad or tater tot casserole) and it tastes like beef...so again, no complaints. You are probably all thinking the same thing...what problem could meg possibly have with deer? I mean, how cute are those little guys in the Christensen's yard?

I know your next thought too. BAMBI. How cute is that little fella? No one could possibly have a problem with Bambi, right?

WRONG!!!
LOOK AT MY CAR!!!

We were on our way home from the football game (and making pretty good time, too) when out trots Bambi onto the Cherokee Turnpike! Oh yeah, he froze LIKE A DEER IN THE HEADLIGHTS...what a stupid line...(remember I hate deer now). So Aaron slams on the brakes and veers way over to the left to avoid hitting him, then here comes Bambi's twin brother! He ran right into us. We rammed right back into him going 50 miles an hour. To quote Lynda, we didn't hit the deer, the deer hit us!

The driver's side door no longer opens, the grill is trash, the hood is trash, the fender is trash, the bumper is trash, the headlight is lying somewhere on the 412, along with a lot of paint, car pieces and probably a DEAD DEER. We wouldn't know, we didn't even stop. Sadly, we could have brought him home...our neighbor probably would have cooked him up in his Fry Daddy, along with some deep fried squirrel, okra, and hush puppies for us on the side.


Anyway, the van will be in the shop for 5 or 6 business days getting fixed since, according to my insurance company, it is technically "undriveable" in it's current condition.

I hate deer. They are stupid...we counted a total of 20 deer right on the edge of the highway on the way home that night. Of course we were terrified we were going to hit another one so we drove pretty slow the rest of the drive and didn't get home until after 2 am.

Another reason to hate deer...they ate all the blackberries of the bushes in my backyard, and they ate the Hostas back there too. Stupid deer. Also, bambi was stupid too... he was friends with a skunk. NOBODY likes skunks.

FYI -in case you come into a situation in the future where you have the opportunity to swerve into a ditch, tree, or fence to avoid hitting a deer. JUST HIT THE DEER. Your insurance will only give you comprehensive coverage if you actually hit the deer. If you hit something else to avoid hitting the deer you will have to pay a higher deductible for collision. Sad for the deer, lucky for us... we will only have to pay 100 bucks to fix all the damage he did. stupid deer.
SO i guess my fight with snow is over, i have a new scapegoat for all the problems in the world.