Too Much

Dude, in a 40 day time span  I’ll have had 3 appointment with oncology, a CT, 2 iron infusions, an ultrasound on my thyroid, dental x rays and cleaning (plus I took 6 out of 7 children to their dental appointments),  2 CBC lab draws, an annual pap with my OB (guess who needs a hysterectomy?)  and a mammogram, which had fuzzy areas so now I have an ultrasound on both breasts on Monday. Sheesh!  

Plus 3 appointments with attorneys and two appeal attorney interviews, etc.... and don’t forget court.

That ate up an entire day.  

I had a CT to a) rule out lymphoma and Epstein Barr and b) search for an autoimmune cause for my adrenal glands flaring up. The CT revealed an enlarged thyroid so I had an ultrasound for that. The ultrasound found cysts on the thyroid, so next step is to meet with an endocrinologist (who called to see if I could get in today but I already had an appointment to interview an appeal attorney at the same time. I’m a stay at home mom, how is my schedule this booked?! ) and my OB ordered a mammogram for tomorrow that should rule out anything other than fibrocystic breast tissue causing drama on my already system.  From regular family practice to oncology to radiology to gynecology to endocrinology and they’ll send me to rheumatology next.  Everyone says the same thing, “this looks like lupus, but you’ve got ____ going on that looks concerning, so let’s rule out cancer first and THEN we can send you on.”  

I really think one of the biggest problems is stress.  The twins case is in its third appeal. More attorneys, more money, more waiting, and the worst part: more months of our family being scrutinized and criticized and treated like babysitters by our CASA and the DHS adoption specialist who refused to give us department consent for us to adopt the twins. 

I keep thinking “this is the home stretch of the marathon!” But the reality is that the twins will likely be seven year old before this is final.  My hair will have completely fallen out by then, my

home will be surrounded by a moat from the river of tears I shed daily over the injustice of it all, and the twins will be in therapy for at least a decade to unpack all of the trauma that has been placed upon their backs by “advocates” who deliberately ignore their mental health needs and concerns.  

Also there’s that whole insurance claim

Monkey on my back. I’ve treated it as a second job and the hours I put into it are taken very seriously.  I was handed such a mess to sort and seriously can’t believe just how badly this was screwed up by the restoration company. But then I have my weekly conference with the insurance agent handling the rebuild and as I look around and have to weekly review just how poorly the completion of our house (haven’t finished yet!) has gone, I actually can believe that the claim is such a disaster.  As soon as the children are in bed, I sit down and work until midnight.  And then I get up the next day and give 200% to children and feel like I’m drowning because these precious children need like 600%.

I don’t have any metaphors to describe what going through this hellish trifecta of waiting is like, but I’m tired of it. Just. So. Tired. 

This is not a marathon. It’s an ultra marathon. I am physically and emotionally depleted.  But then I look at my children and find more fight inside me. They are my why. They are worth all of this. I just wish it was easier.

Any bets on which will end first?  Answers about my health/autoimmune flares, closing the door the fire remodel and insurance claim, or is finally getting an adoption date?   

The answer is D: Reese will have already graduated high school by the time we know anything. I will probably be a grandmother before I can legally call the twins Willardsons——which is a name everyone will know because this ridiculous case will end up going to the Supreme Court. 🤣. 

Know a foster mother? Go give her a big hug. Or dinner. Or run and errand for her. Or just give some words of motivation to remind her of her divine endurance. 

She’s weary. She’s tired. She does not have the luxury of rest. She’s fighting a broken system and sometimes feels like she’s doing it alone. 

Go get in her corner. 

Reese’s First Date

Reese had her first date this weekend! 

Sam M picked her up and they joined Carson D with Sierra S, and Tommy H with Finley S, and later joined by Wyatt D and his date. 

Like any mother would, I had to grab a pic on their way out. 

Also like any mother would, I had to add Bernie Sanders to the window of Sam’s car.  🤣🤣🤣


And text them a pick of Bernie waiting up for them to make sure he had her home by 10. 


They played a game at Goodwill, ate at CFA, and went bowling. Reese said everyone had a great time! 

Bacon for Brad

Reese’s buddy, Bradley broke his foot last week. Reese thought it might be weird to take flowers to a guy, so instead she took him some bacon 🤣. Bradley is known for a perfected omelette and used to be a regular customer back in the day when Reese was selling eggs. Reese printed off a photo of Michael Scott with his bubble wrapped foot (from the episode where Michael grills his foot while cooking bacon on his George foreman) and lined the inside of an egg carton with it, saying “sorry you grilled your foot.  Here are some eggs and bacon, so your family can bring you breakfast in bed while you’re laid up sorry.” 

What more appetizing than eggs packaged in Michael’s burned foot? 😂😂😂. 

She wore her Dundee Mifflin hoodie and mask for extra fun when she delivered the goods. 

Banjolele

The Willy family has taken up a new little hobby. Aaron bought this banjolele when we bought the piano. We are having so much fun learning new chords and how to strum. The you tube people lie! It is not “easy” 🤣🤣🤣 and we all have Vance Joy’s “Riptide” ringing in our ears 24/7. Not one of us can sing and strum that song at the same time. 

I thought it was really kind of pathetic how easy it was to get to a certain point...and how insanely difficult it is for any of us to progress from there, and decided there must be some skill (or twenty) that we are all lacking for this particular song, so I jumped onto a quest to learn a new song. In about 20 minutes, I could play AND sing 90% of Oceans (where feet may fail) by Hillsong Worship.  So that’s the new venture I’m going to focus on until I have the skills to finish Riptide.  It’s also nice to have a new song stuck in all of our heads all the time. Bonus that the song is about Jesus. 

 We are all really having a blast trying to figure out true totally adorable new little covid toy!  

Baked Potato Soup

I made a killer baked potato soup for family lunch yesterday. 

Note—this photo is not mine, I forgot to take a pic.  But this pic from the internet looked just like my soup! 

BAKED POTATO SOUP

Cook 1/2 package bacon until crispy.

Chop up and set aside.

Sauté diced onions and celery in the bacon grease.

Add 1/4 flour, whisk, and cook the paste 2-3 minutes 

Slowly add 1.5-2 quarts (homemade) chicken stock 

Add about 3.5 lbs peeled and sliced 1/4in thick Yukon gold potatoes. Bring to a boil then reduce heat to a simmer. 

When potatoes are tender give the pot a good stir to lightly mash some of the potatoes. 

Add 1TBS dry ranch seasoning

Add a splash of heavy cream, 2c shredded sharp cheddar. 

Stir to melt cheese. 

Top with sour cream, bacon crumbles, green onions, and shredded cheese. 

Homemade Pizza

Fridays (or Saturday) are traditionally pizza night around here.  Usually it’s takeout, occasionally we go out for a date and the kids eat frozen pizzas, and once a month or so I make calzones. 

This week, I made homemade pizza for the first time in over two years.  

Oh how we have missed this!  Nothing beats a good homemade pizza. Nothing. Artichokes, garlic, pears, pistachios, Parmesan 😍. Honestly though, the pepperoni ones were just as good, if not better.  

Crust: 1TBS yeast, 1c warm water, 2TBS oil, 1TBS honey, 4c flour, and a good pinch of salt. Makes two 10-12 inch pizzas. (I quadruple the recipe for my family 🤣) Bake on a stone at 400* for 8-10 min.

A few tips— I don’t have a pizza paddle anymore so I use cutting boards to slide the pizza onto the stone. I dust the surface with a bit of cornmeal to help them slide and to get that perfect crusty edge. 

Also, parchment paper is my BFF in the kitchen. 

Day 8

I took this pic last night after realizing I had not washed my hair in SEVEN DAYS. Booyah! I’m still rolling with it today. This week has kicked my trash, but hey, at least my hair looks good! This must me what it’s like for people with straight hair. They just wake up and then they like just brush their hair and that’s it.  Amazing! 

Anyway, after a very long week, I’m calling my hair a victory, cuz if 8 days without washing isn’t a win, I don’t even know what is. 😂 gotta count the small victories.