Violin Shopping

We were not expecting today to be an emotional one, but it surprised us with a little wave of grief. Reese had  crossed over to playing MY violin. The one I received for my 15th birthday. The one I just had a tuning peg and bridge replaced and bow rehaired so it was perfect for my and ready to pass on to my daughter.  But my/our beautiful EH Roth violin is really, truly gone. Reese is the most sentimental of my children.  More sentimental than Aaron and I put together. I realized that if this was emotionally stirring for me, it was even more difficult for Reese. She has patiently played her little half size violin all school year long. But she’s getting taller by the day and starting to look like a bear riding a tricycle with her tiny violin that is 2 sizes too small. She decided last week she is ready to move forward. 

So we shopped and cried a little, and we got excited over the many many choices. She played a few and much like her mother, managed to pick up the highest valued violin in the shop first, without seeing the sticker price. Ha. She has lovely taste. 😂 she put it down rather quickly when I told her how much it cost. I gave her a budget and she narrowed it down to two, then finally one. It is bright and rich and full of glorious sound. And she’s a pretty little lady. We called her Gloria, and she came home with us.  

Reese spent the week adjusting to a much larger instrument (again). It’s hard work! Frets are in new places. The bow is like twice as long. After a frustrating dress rehearsal, last night Reese decided to perform her recital piece on her old violin, and then kiss it goodbye and then go forward with Gloria. 

Tenacity

There seems to be one mini crisis after another regarding the rebuild, and it eats up a lot of time. Boss Lady has had many opportunities lately to practice and develop tenacity. 

Installers scheduled a meeting and presented to me a problemo with aligning new materials with poorly installed preexisting siding. The siding on the right side (shown above) of the wall was level. The left side was also level, but over the door there was a 1.5 inch height difference no one could find a cause for.   After expressing my frustrations, I was generously offered a custom fix for said problem.  I returned to inspect the solution today and was disappointed to find this.  Nope. The “custom fix” was a scab. 

Nope. Nope. Nope. 
I sedulously searched my photo history until I found the fire damage pics of this same exterior wall. 

What really happened is they started hanging the siding on one side, and started on the other, and it didn’t meet in the middle. As you can see from the burned house pic, there WAS no “original line to work with” that caused the misalignment, because all of the siding on that wall melted off. 

So what reeeeeallly happened is that no one used a magical tool called a laser level. If they had shot a line down the entire wall, they might have noticed they were starting 1.5 inches higher on one side than the other. I texted the pic of the scab and of the burned wall, to the general contractor at the restoration company and my sentiments or dissatisfaction. 

2 hours later I got a text with this pic. Scab gone. All is well. Carry on. 

Annnd Friday I popped in for a surprise visit and smelled a certain green illegal substance coming from my basement. 

Nope. I kicked those workers outside, told them not to smoke [um ANYthing. At all. No smoking at all in this home.] in my home, and messaged contractor again. 

Tenacity.  

We’ve reached the halfway point in this marathon. Deep breaths. Tenacity. 

Thursday in May at Fort Willy

April is busy and May is just ridiculous as all the things come to a close. Today’s schedule was packed from 5:45 am until these late hours with field trips and orthodontist and piano lessons and an after school audio test retake and a budget meeting with our contractor and shopping for new floors. 

And then Sloane vomited all over the van while taking kids to school. 

So there’s that. 

I canceled all the things and spent the day laundering things and cleaning up bodily byproducts and was gross and l fulfilling because I also got to snuggle sick little Sloane abd hold her hair back and rock and comfort her.  

She clung onto me like a baby Joey today and breathed her hot stinky words of affirmation right into my mouth and I’m 200% certain that of what she has is contagious, it will knock me down soon. But maybe she will hold my hair back and fix up Gatorade and snuggle me again and make us both better.  (Or most hopefully, I just won’t catch whatever ailed her, but that’s just a crazy dream considering my immune system has been broken since December). 

Here’s to May that came marching in with a bang! Thank you Sloane, for the excuse to cancel everything today! 

Quincy’s Orchestra Concert

Quincy had her spring orchestra concert this week.   She performed her way 1/2 way through the Suzuki Book 1, Gaelic Castle, and Boil Cabbage Down. Quincy faithfully practices the cello and is becoming quite the musician. We love to listen to her play and she performs a new song she’s working on in lessons each week for us. Her cello, though a rental, is one of only four things (kitchen gable, church pew, the cello and my wedding dress) that were saved from the main floor of our home after the fire.  We begged the fire investigator to let us remove it from the house before it could be damaged by smoke and the water it was sitting in. The case was destroyed, but the cello lives and we are so happy for it to fill our current home with music and CeeCee musical talent.  

Quincy, you are resilient. You are dedicated. You are smart and creative. You are expressive. You feel BIG. 

Your dad and I are impressed with the way you are channeling grief and frustration and disappointment into something that brings you peace and can offer peace to others. It is very good. 

You sounded wonderful tonight. Great work! We love you! 

Corbin and Soren’s Piano Recital

This was Soren’s first piano recital. He wasn’t nervous at all. Corbin felt much more relaxed this time around. I’m so thankful for the comfortable atmosphere Karen provides in these recitals for her students. She always gives a “group pep talk” to the audience. Last time was about the motivation, practice, results cycle.  This time she encouraged parental involvement in becoming our kids most frequent audience and biggest cheerleaders. 

Let’s talk for a second about how much Corbin has grown in 6 months. He’ll be seeing eye to eye with Karen in no time! 

Cleanliness is next to Godliness

I could probably start a whole series of random things I find in the wash. A toothbrush is a first though. Obviously necessary though since evidently I also laundered a tiny plate of shortbread cookies. 😂

Education for Life on the Sun.

During a Family Home Evening lesson, one of Aaron’s favorite art pieces was discussed.  Aaron talked to the children about the value of work, the value of wholesome, creative play, and things that just don’t deserve the time we invest in them. 

Here are a few things I’m replacing time-wasting activities with, in my attempts to do better and be better. My belief is that making better use of my time will provide better access the divine gift of personal revelation.  I often have moments where I feel very well prepared for the life I have. But still I come up short most days, and justify everything with “I’m trying to be the best steward I know how to be.” 

This FHE lesson has opened my eyes that while what I “know” is good, it is not my effort or desire or hope that are lacking. I don’t need to increase my efforts. I need to change my efforts to increase what I know.  

Lots of prayer has led me to a few things that are making me a more educated mother in an area I’m already passionate about, but where I still have so much to learn. I’d been watching a lot of Conscious Dicipline webinars with Dr Becky Bailey and Angela Fraley. This stuff is just gold and gaining better understanding how trauma affects our brains and behavior has really saved my family from remaining in a perpetual state of chaos...or more accurately, it has made our chaotic lives on the Sun tolerable because we recognize and understand and accept the source of heat, instead of resisting and resenting. The Conscious Dicipline Trauma series led me to Karyn Purvis Institue of Child Development.

Well Karyn Purvis is basically a gold mine of hope and information. After a few online videos, I’ve started on  her book, and I’m trying out the new-to-me medium of audiobooks. I don’t sit long enough to read right now, but I DO run every Saturday morning, and spend hours and hours doing laundry, driving, and waiting. Here’s to using this time in a way that will bless my family. 

I also enrolled in TBRI training course at the recommendation of the twins’ therapist.  We use the TBRI methods at home, but I’m interested in getting below the surface and feel led to learn more so this model can be worked at home more effectively with all of my children.  



I offered a few of the children a summer duo-lingo challenge. I was delighted to be introduced to someone last week and have an opportunity to say “¡Mucho gusto!”  I’ve been trying to broaden/strengthen my limited Spanish skills. My friend Olivia is very encouraging and helps me stay motivated to keep trying. 





I’m late to the podcast bandwagon, and I can’t say I’ve fully jumped on it, either. I used to listen to Jody Moore while I ran last year, and discovered the Adoptive Mom podcast by accident while searching for something completely unrelated. I gave this particular episode a shot and it was SO relatable that I had Reese listen to it. The guest, Abby, is the 18 year old bio daughter and oldest child in her family that has 10 children. She and her sister were 11 abd 13 when their quiet life was flipped upside down and her family began their foster and adoptive journey.  She shares what it’s like to be the oldest, and knowing how easy and excessively comfortable she was when the Lord asked her to get very UNcomfortable, very quickly in order to accelerate His work. She accepted the challenge and her attitude about her experience is mind blowing, uplifting, hopeful, and inspiring.  And I’m dying to meet and interview HER mother. 


So all of this is how I’m feeding my brain during a season when my brain feels like mush.  Both my brain AND heart are responding with enthusiastic signs of life.  My hope is to share what I learn through my experiences and use all of this to someday help other families who are willingly and vulnerably living this crazy intense life here on the sun but are desperately running around like we were, expecting to find some shade.  Instead of searching for relief and respite, I’m learning to trust that I was made for this.  I am capable of adaptation and the Lord has plans to qualify me and  make our lives sustainable right here where we are. 

Full speed ahead.