The Real Deal

Mark, Melinda, and Taylor---yet another reason why you should come to visit us in Arkansas (although, after the post about the bugs, I'm pretty sure Mark will never come here, now)


Today on Facebook:

Downtown Bentonville, Inc.
River Grille is bringing back their popular "Dining in the Dark" event. An evening where senses are awakened by limiting vision and relying totally on taste, smell and touch to explore an array of amazing cuisine. 4 courses for $45.00. Event will be held on Saturday, January 22nd at 6:00 pm. Call 479-271-4141 for more information.
9 minutes ago ·LikeUnlike · Comment


Whaaaaat?
Ok, hold on. You mean to tell me that "Dining in the dark" is a real thing?



Yes!
"It's awesome!"

"I will not tolerate infestation!"

Don't worry.

We have selected a winner for the Shirt Shun, but we decided we want to announce it with video post, so the shirt destruction can be documented. So you'll have to wait a few more days.

But to the winner, I cannot wait to give you your chunky ring and tshirt.

Meanwhile,
Aaron and I have a little problem.

With crickets.

Ok, actually, Arkansas has a problem with all bugs. They are enormous and look like things that your nightmares are made of.

Our problem is singular.
Just one cricket.

And not because it chirps all night, because it doesn't.
It is made out of plastic.

When we moved here, our home was a crusty, outdated mess, that had been previously owned by an old couple named Dorothy and Guy (it's been 5 years and we still get their mail). The house was really REALLY ugly, decked out in Brady Bunch wallpaper and light fictures, smelled musty, and every time the a/c or heater kicked on, 2 or 3 of these wicked looking crickets (that look like jumping spiders) would come in through the vents. Gross? YES! We took to keeping our shoes by the vents so we could easily smash them. Nasty. Everyone that lives in Ar knows what kind of cricket I am talking about. Ick.


We finally got a bug guy to come out and spray the house, and that combined with a horribly long, cold winter is what we think finally exterminated them. But we are haunted by the crickets. Once, the showerhead was dripping in the master bath, and we spent a good 15 minutes with the lights on at 3am, searching our bedroom with shoes in hands, looking for the cricket jumping around that we thought was the cause of the noise.

Anyway, about a year ago, one of the girls selected a Chuck E Cheese toy that looks IDENTICAL to the dang crickets.

The image below is the most alike that I could find to the one we have.
Trust me, this is not your average spider ring fake-out. There are bugs here that look almost exactly like this.

This sucker is the same size, shape, and color of the crickets that sneak into the houses to torture the residents of Northwest Arkansas.

It doesn't matter that it has been a good year or two since we've had a cricket sighting in our house.

The memory of finding them everywhere still haunts me.

And now this, this TOY is causing me to lose sleep.
I can't get rid of it!

Every time I think I have thrown it away for the LAST time, it reappears...in the sock drawer, in the shower, on my pillow, in the closet, on the floor behind the toilet...anywhere.


And it scares the crap out of me. every. single. time.

I can't even tell you how many times I have "killed" it with a shoe or rolled magazine, then screamed a second time, when it didn't "die", but instead bounced off the pillow and came flying at me.

And Aaron just thinks it is sooooohohoho funny, and laughs and laughs at me until his face turns purple,
or until there's a "cricket" on his pillow.


THEN it's not so funny.

I've had this post typed up for awhile, and I keep meaning to publish it, but I've waited because I wanted to include a picture of said fake cricket.


Unfortunately, I can't find it.
The last time it freaked me out, it was in the drawer in my nightstand. I jumped out of bed when it touched my hand as I reached in the drawer for a pen and journal. Aaron hahaha'd a good 10 minutes that time.


And I can't find it now, which only means one thing.

He has stashed it again.
He has hidden that little bugger somewhere in this house, and I know that Aaron is just waiting to hear me scream when I discover it, so he can die laughing at me for falling for it again!


Well, laugh it up now, Baby,
because once I DO find that cricket, some hardcore payback is coming your way.


And if I happen to catch YOUR jumpy scream on camera...
it is so going up on the blog.


Then, that evil little Chuck E Cheese toy is going to find a new home (again), because even fake bugs are gross, and this little war has gone on long enough.

One Upped

Disregard today's previous post.

The bangin' gumbo I just busted out for dinner trumps anything I have accomplished in a very very long time.

You all should be very very jealous of Aaron, tonight.
Recipe to come soon.

Today

1) I taught preschool this morning, and consequently, I keep forgetting that it is Friday, and not Wednesday. It was a great day, as always. I'll post pictures and curriculum later.

2) When Quincy woke up from her nap, she playfully crawled into the kitchen, pawed my feet, nuzzled her head and neck against my calves, and made an animal-like whinny.

Me: "Hi, you're awake! Are you a kitty or a horse?"

Quincy: "I'm a Quincy!"

3) Miss Reese was awarded as Terrific Kid at her school assembly today. The assembly was first thing in the morning, so Aaron surprised Reese and drove her to school, then stayed for the assembly. Reese was really excited. We are proud of her for being selected as a Terrific Kid!

4) I took both her and Corbin to the doctor yesterday. I was pleased to hear that Quincy's ears are clear, without a lick of infection. This is big news in our house, since we often wonder if her ears ever even heal 100% between one infection and the next.

Of course, both of Corbin's ears are infected, but hey, at least I have a reason for why he wasn't sleeping at night.

5) I just made 2 loaves of white bread to go with the gumbo I'm making for dinner. Like WHITE white bread. Rolls in loaf form. Though I am normally a big fan of the nutritional benefits and nutty taste of wheat bread, the babys cooling on my stovetop have got to be the most absolutely delicious, fluffy, wonder bread of breads I have ever made. I feel like I have conquered the world. I feel like a rockstar. I feel like Betty Crocker. ---
which is sort of cute because it is a Betty Crocker recipe.

I wonder if Betty Crocker still has yesterday's laundry piled on top of her bed, waiting to be folded.

"Honey let's play hooky 'cause it snowed last night..."

Brrrrrr.....
It was 1* outside with windchill.
That's a little too cold for Bella Vista, and way cold for the girls. They didn't last very long outside, but they had fun while they were out there.

The rest of the day involved me sitting in the "audience" (hallway) and high quality live puppet theater. The girls pulled up a stool behind the curtain, so Corbin could reach. It was a short lived effort, but very sweet nonetheless.

Before Reese got on the bus, this morning, she had a lot of questions about what Quincy, Corbin, and I will be doing with our day. She begged one last time for me to let her stay home and play with us. I think she is starting to realize that the world doesn't stop when she isn't home, or when she is asleep.

Little does she know, the world of every mother stops a little bit when her children aren't home.

I assured her that that if she could see the mountain of laundry that I plan to fold, the dishes I'm going to wash, the shower drain that will be unclogged (gag), diapers that I'll change, (or if only knew how grueling the phone calls to the Boise State Admissions office and Health Insurance company are going to be), she'd choose to go to school.

She told me, "it would be so nice if you could wait to have any fun at all until I get home."

Too bad every day can't be a Snow Day. Carry on.

Don't Forget....

about the Big Shun! Today is the last day to leave suggestions for how that ugly shirt will be destroyed.

I love the suggestions that have been given, so far, too funny! I'm already fantasizing about each scenario and playing them out in my head, mentally giving every t-shirt from that dang box a turn.

I'll announce the big winner tomorrow.

Leave a comment with your ideas for destruction here.
This might turn into an annual event, and if that's the case, you know you want to win, just so you can have creative bragging rights, claim your prize, and sing, "Look at my rings, my rings, my rings...."





Contest ends at midnight.

Insert theme song from Rocky here.

***if you are new to the blog, or unfamiliar with the Lawrence Family tradition of the Almond Box and want to read the back story to fully understand the annual Almond Box posts, click the tag labeled The Box at the end of the post *****


A few packages arrived in the mail yesterday afternoon.

Presents!
Ok, I know I'd just said I would be selfish to ask for anything more, today, but I did ask for these.

Also, I don't turn presents away.

Everyone had just gotten up from their naps, so Aaron played Santa and passed out the gifts. We opened a bunch of lovely gifts from my sister Amy's family. My favorite is the puppet theater backdrop. The girls are thrilled to have a venue for their performances, and I know this will get a lot of use by my preschoolers, as well. Also, the running sweatband (that I'm wearing in the video) has a "super mom" logo on it that makes me laugh, because I feel like anything BUT a "super mom" when I abandon my family to go running. I've been wanting one of these bands for awhile, and it is a much needed addition to my running "gear" (scroll down to winter warrior video if you haven't seen it, yet.) Thanks, Oelrichs!

Anyway, there were many many other gifts to open and it was like Christmas morning all over again! I was helping Corbin take the packaging off his new truck, when Aaron plopped what appeared to be a very heavy, yet VERY familiar wrapped present next to me.


I didn't even see who's name was on the tag, but I froze.
Stunned.
Then I smiled.


"I know what that is, Aaron."

"What? That present? It's heavy. It's for you."


"That is the Almond Box."


He said, "no way, you can't tell. It's wrapped!"


But I KNEW. All of the Lawrence Kids know. The distict not-quite-square shape, the spongy feel of the thick thick cardboard, the rounded worn edges.

Aaron had some technical difficulties when video recording the opening of the gift, but it's just as well, as I'm pretty sure I sounded like a spoiled little brat when I squealed, "Eat that suckahs!" or something similar to my siblings.

My parents have never mailed the Almond Box. It has always been wrapped on Christmas Eve, and opened on Christmas Morning. For 30 years. The Christmas after I was married, I made up new rules when I launched my campaign, and declared a "must be present to win" stipulation. I thought it would increase my odds of receiving the Almond Box, since my brother and his wife are always in Utah Christmas morning. Instead, I drastically DEcreased them, since I have only been home on Christmas morning twice since then, and one of those years, the box went to Aaron. I am never 'present to win', dangit!

The familar shaped present sat on my living room floor, and I was near certain that it was what I hoped it was. If I made up the rules 10 years ago, why can't someone else change them? "must be present to win" wasn't working out so well anymore, anyway, since my parents were out of town on Christmas for 3 out of the last 6 years.

Did they really change the rules, and decide to MAIL the Almond Box TO it's recipient?

Bah ba ba bah bah ba baaaaaaaaaa!

YES!
Yes they did! Booyah! Pictured above is the REAL DEAL.

The other new rule my parents have come up with, this year, is that from now on, each recipient holds the responsibility of choosing who gets the Box the following year.

I feel so powerful. Now, I promised myself after last week's confessional, that I try to I'd keep the Big Brother refrences to a minimum. I'm failing to keep that promise, as

I can't help but refer to my nonbox-holding brothers and sisters and husband as the "Have Nots", this week.

Dear Have Nots,
Better luck next year. Let this turn of events remind you that even though this precious box has not had my name on it since 1997, and it would have been another easy year to gift the box to another child, Mom and Dad just couldn't live a lie anymore. They slapped my name on that bad boy and sent it in the mail as a reminder to everyone that I always have been and forever will be Mom and Dad's favorite child. And also that I am the best. ever.

King me,

Meg Almond Box winner 2010

Inside, was another surprise. A real gift! Usually the Almond Box holds something unexciting or lame, like underwear or socks. But my gift was way better than the norm (should I really expect anything less? I mean, I am the favorite and all).

I was incredibly touched to find Grandma Lawrences antique pressing iron inside.
I must say, I admire it almost as much as I admire seeing my name written on the Almond Box.

Aaron laughed and said he's never seen me look so happy while holding an iron.

I reminded him, that according to the new rules, he'd better start kissing up to me a little more, or that box is sure to say someone else's name on it, come Christmas.

He made up for his snarky comment and for not actually recording the fabulous grand opening the Box, by catching this little snippet of the Box and I snuggling on the sofa.

I was a little (very) emotional, and unshowered.

For your viewing pleasure:

Wow.

The Almond Box. Mine, at last.

Just an hour before the package arrived, I'd said that 'it would be selfish to ask for anything more' on this perfect Tuesday.

it managed to get even more perfect!

Lucky Me.

Thanks Mom and Dad! I Love you!