I'm Too Sexy For This Diaper

My day began at 4:00am when Reese came in, (leaving a trail of urine behind her) crying because she had wet the bed.Aaron was quick to remind me that he took care of her the two other times she has wet the bed, so I figured it was my turn. Being the genius that I am, I have a plastic mattress cover on her bed. So instead of ruining her mattress with pee, she got to swim in it. She even had it in her hair! Unfortunately, our tub is out of commission (see below posts) so consequently we've had to give the girls showers for the last few weeks. Reese doesn't mind until you rinse her hair out, but Q screams like we are dropping her in hot oil, and clings her soaking wet little limbs to you so you either have to shower with her, or get very very wet. It's getting old, and I'm starting to think I'd rather have dirty kids.
So at 4am I gave Reese a shower, changed her sheets, started a load of laundry (with all the pee-soaked bedding, stuffed animals, pajamas and pillow) and calmly put her back to bed.

Two and a half hours later I awoke to Quincy's tiny little voice, and went in to greet her.

Ummm...notice anything missing here?

Sadly, what I'd thought she was saying with her sweet little voice was "doggie, doggie". Turns out it was "yucky, yucky" and she'd helped herself out of a diaper full of her morning poop.

Lucky me, she left a little brown butt print on her sheets. Looks like I'll be doing TWO loads of potty-stained laundry today!

Are We There Yet?

I'm approaching the point in a project where I start losing my mind. Why?

As much as I LOVE stepping on a drywall square in the middle of the night, or tripping over the air compressor in the hallway, or having to park in the driveway (when it is POURING outside) because my garage is full of tables with saws set up on them... I'm thinking it's time to wrap this project up.

(how brave am I for posting a picture of my totally messy floor for y'all?) Feel free to judge. I'm just keeping it real, man. My parents are coming in 3 weeks and I'd really like to have the shower up and running before then. Not sure if it's gonna happen at this point (she says as she wastes time blogging instead of outside cutting tile in the rain). since I'm going to be gone all next weekend.

Anyone wanna come keep me company?
I need more motivation. I need less distractions...

Hey did anyone else here have a chance to check out the new Pottery Barn? I really want the Hanna Quilt in dusty violet for my bed. Or the orange velvet duvet...

Some Women Want Flowers

Aaron bought me a present on Saturday....


Her name is Gloria. 5.2 AMP, 120 V, key-less chuck, and a cute little storage clip on top for a screwdriver bit. She is way too powerful for me. I love her.
Thanks, Hubby!

Runner Number 1178

Today was the big day.

I ran the Arkansas Run For A Child 5K this morning with Kasey. It was hot. It was humid. I was sweaty...really really sweaty. But I did it! And I ran the whole thing...no walking over here!

The turn out this year was great! There had about 1200 runners show up to show their support, which means mucho dinero for the Children's Shelter. I've decided that I pretty much hate running, but a 5K was one of my New Year's Resolutions, so I had to stick with it. I'm glad that it was for a good cause, and that I wasn't just sweating for nothing.

I was thrilled to see Aaron, Reese, and Quincy cheering me on at the finish line. They were thrilled to see the princess castle bounce house and free ice cream.

My time? 41:06...not great. I think I came in like 338th place or something. But I did it...and that was most important to me. Maybe next year I'll actually train and run the 10K with the really really REALLY sweaty people. I'll add more pictures to this post when we get them from Kasey's camera. My camera is officially out of commission until I figure out why my laptop refuses to accept pictures from it. Until then, just imagine me with really frizzy (did I mention the heat and humidity?) hair that doesn't quite fit into a ponytail, ratty tennis shoes, a number pinned to my shirt, and a BIG smile on my face!

"I Will Not Tolerate Infestation!"

Frank Costanza was right about that. Pests are gross. creepy. disgusting. EVERYWHERE!!!
My home is under attack...well WAS under attack, anyway.
First of all. WHAT IS WITH THE SUPER-SIZED BUGS HERE?! I see a new, unidentified species every day!!!
THIS IS NOT FOLIAGE. It's a bug. It's 2 inches long, has creepy long antennae, flies and is called a Katydid. It's on my front door....and about every other surface outside my house.

In other news...
I've spent the past several months building up our food storage supply, and last month we FINALLY have updated 72 hour kits in backpacks, a 1 year supply of basics (grains, legumes, salt, oil, sugar, etc.) to keep us alive, and a rotating 3 month supply of everyday foods we eat.
I also recently purchased a rotating shelf unit to store all of our canned goods. It's waiting in my garage to be assembled. It takes 2 people to put together, and Aaron and I don't play nice when it comes to handy-projects and reading instructions, so we've been putting it off for a few weeks. We'll take a stab at it when the remodel is complete, since we can only handle one divorce at a time. But isn't it awesome? It holds up to 600 cans! YAY!

The only thing left on our immediate needs list is water, which I'm working on getting one of those 55 gallon barrels for that. I was feeling all awesome about my progress and even working on a post about self reliance and how good it feels to be prepared, and then disaster struck!!!

My cereal cabinet was attacked by pantry moths!

For those not familiar with these little buggers, the larvae have actually been known to eat through cardboard and even Tupperware to get to the goodness on your shelves. The adult looks like this:
Ew. Right? They're soooo gross! AND They lay eggs and reproduce at a ridiculous pace, but I didn't know that, so I threw out every unopened container and thought they were gone. But they came back!!! The 2nd time I was extra disgusted and threw EVERYTHING out in the whole cabinet, and everything but canned goods (which I washed off) in the neighboring cabinets. Gave my entire kitchen a bleach bath and waited....

They haven't returned to my kitchen since, but I wasn't super freaked out about the kitchen, I don't have a TON of food about in there. But I was terrified that they would work their way down the hall to Quincy's closet, which is stocked with ELEVEN 55 pound plastic buckets of wheat, rice, beans, corn, and oats, and THIS:
There are 2 shelves not shown because the unit was too tall, but you get the idea. Aside from the ones with the yellow labels (which I purchased online) I canned those bad boys myself. I canned the tomatoes from our garden too...(another post, check the archives. It involves a broken stove and a LOT of tears) Obviously, the cans are safe from pests, but what about all the pasta, rice, popcorn, oatmeal, crackers, potato flakes, bisquit mix, muffin mix, and cereal? What about the 55lb buckets? If they can eat through plastic, why not those? What about mylar bags? Are those safe? No one seems to know...

A few months ago, I wanted to put EVERYTHING into mylar bags and cans at a canning day with some other ladies, but was told "Noooooo", and how it's such "an unnecessary waste" to do such a thing. I listened and put everything right on my shelf and now cringe at the thought of losing months of spending an extra $10-$20 a week to build up my supply.

I checked this closet DAILY for signs of any super-pest that might have left the circus in my kitchen and wandered down the hall for the real schmorgasboard.

The day came this week. I turned on the light in Q's room and saw the all-too-familiar flutter of wings out of the corner of my eye. I thrust back the closet doors and shrieked.

Overnight, a little crop of pantry moths had hatched and they were having themselves a little family reunion in my food storage!!! How did they make it all the way down the hall?

The culprit? A 10 lb bag of rice that I had purchased during the "rice shortage" at the beginning of the summer. It had been in the cereal cabinet, but a few days before the "outbreak" I decided that since I wouldn't need it for awhile, I'd move it to Quincy's room to make space for things I use every day. Oops.

We spent the evening examining EVERYTHING in Q's closet and couldn't find the moths on anything once the bag of rice was gone, but I wasn't confident that there wasn't a nest hiding from me. Since everything really did look untouched I put as much as I could into my kitchen freezer. Now I'm just waiting for the outbreak.

This isn't exactly the answer I was looking for when I recently prayed to understand the Old Testament better. I was hoping to be able to relate on a more spiritual level. But after a week of pests, plagues, and even a drought in one bathroom, I suppose this is as close as I'm going to get.
Hmmm, now that I think about it, I was struck with snakes in my garage earlier this summer. Perhaps I should learn something from the experience before we have earthquakes and boils.

One thing I HAVE decided from this disaster is not to give up. Even though I will probably have to throw out most of my 3 month supply (since it's in cardboard boxes and will probably look a lot like the set for A Bugs Life II in a few days) I just refuse to give up on the food storage concept after all the time I've spent coming up with a system that works. Plus, it's a commandment, right? The blessings have got to be hidden SOME where. If we hadn't had food storage when Aaron lost his job a few years ago, we would have been in some deep poop. I KNOW there is a reason why we've been asked to do it.

My new plan is to store everything in cans and mylar bags. Now that I have a rotating shelf that will be much easier to do. PLUS, I just picked up these little guys:


They're the gravity shelves your soup comes in at the grocery store (4 shown here) and each can hold over a case of cans and has 2 rows so you can have 2 different items in each slot. I have 8 and they are soon to be filled with all my cream of's, chicken noodle, enchilada sauce...anything that comes in a 10 oz can. Nice huh? AND FREE! The grocery store was THROWING THEM AWAY. I'm going to make new labels for mine that match what I will put in it. Free food storage rotation.

Call your local grocery store and Get on it!
I know my Pantry Moths can't wait to.

A Moment of Self Reflection

This morning I went to the DMV. The DMV is pretty much the closest thing to hell on earth that I can think of... so yesterday, I spent 2 hours trying to register my vehicles over the phone in an attempt to avoid the yearly trip that takes me at least a week to emotionally prepare for.

Long story short, because of bad luck and a computer misprint, I still had to go in, to get a copy of my personal property assessment (yes, we pay personal property taxes on our cars here...it sucks and it is very expensive.) to prove that I had paid my personal property taxes in 2006. (Apparently, my bill statement, and a copy of my cleared check dated TWO YEARS AGO were not enough...sometimes I wonder why I go to such great measures with my bookkeeping, when it doesn't seem to matter in the end...but then I loose sleep at night over a misplaced receipt that I need to hand in for reimbursement, and fall back on my faithful "system" like a fat guy hitting a krispy kreme)

ANYWAY. I dropped R off at preschool and took deep breaths the whole way to the DMV, practicing for the moment I would attempt to hold my breath for the 45 minute line I was destined to stand in. Quincy happily smeared the jam from a cereal bar all over her face and sang "twinkle twinkle" in the backseat. I realized I'd forgotten a stroller and would have to hold her to keep her from running around and touching everything, or eating someones gum off the floor.

Well, after I waited in 3, went back and forth between the DMV and the County Assessors Office, and then got back into the car to go get cash from the bank (what's with state offices not having Debit machines? So annoying) I got everything I needed to register the cars and stepped into, what was hopefully, my last line for the year. By now, I had pretty much given up on holding Q anymore, because her jam hands were now sprinkled with a layer of goldfish cracker crumbs and she kept smearing her "sticky" all over the precious documents I'd been waiting in lines all morning to pick up.

tick. tick. tick. tick......why oh WHY is this line taking so long?!!! I gotta get me OUT of here! I take a moment to look around for the first time really. Since I'd been there I'd been so distracted by the paperwork issue that I'd actually forgotten about how much I despise the atmosphere, and until now, had been focusing all of my bad energy on the horned people behind the counter.

Something had changed at the DMV.

I hadn't stepped in gum. I hadn't slipped in a mysterious yellow liquid. Where was the stinky meth addict that usually stands behind me in line? Where is the sweaty lady with the disney character mini-backpack and shirt with cats on it? Why is everyone speaking English? Where are all the unattended children that with the lice crawling on their heads? Where is the beat up pregnant girl that goes outside every 5 minutes for a smoke? Where's the tatted up girl wearing overalls with a pink bra for a shirt?

WHERE AM I?

"well hello there."
While my thoughts wandered, Q had also wandered...over to a woman trying to read her book. She smiled at Quincy and in return, Quincy waved a jam-hand at her. SIGH. tap. tap. TAP. TAP. TAP. it's coming from the stiletto heeled lady 2 people in front of me. She checks her i phone for the 100th time and puts it back in her Coach bag. Cute bag...it somehow stands out like a sore thumb at the DMV.

OR DOES IT? Guy behind me is in a Polo dress shirt, holding a very nice leather briefcase. Another business man sits in the corner working on his laptop. Yuppie couple in front of me are reading the paper together. Lady playing peek-a-boo with Quincy is dressed up as well and has a 2nd book laying open on the chair next to her to protect her fancy purse from getting DMV all over it. Guy at the next window over is wearing a TUX.

What is going on around here? Where am I? I moved forward in line. "THAT IS OUTRAGEOUS!" it's I Phone in the coach bag lady "I hardly even DROVE the Hummer last year, with gas prices being so high.What about the Porshe?"

Hummer? Porshe? Well I suppose glamorous have to register their cars too...I just never run into them at the DMV, and always figured there was some sort of express lane for the rich and famous. I choke on the laughter I'm trying to hold back from my random thoughts.
SHE heard me!
I get the stink eye, and then sloooowly her eyes move across the dirty floor to my even dirtier daughter, who's poopy is starting to droop through the crotch of her pajamas. She shakes off the disgust and turns back to the counter. With my jaw dropped, I quickly glance around and reevaluate (judge) everyone in the DMV. I honestly am the ONLY sloppy ponytail in there. Did my environment move up a class and leave me behind?
My kid was the crusty kid running around in the DMV. MY KID was the bad smell from an unidentified source.

Flashback to that moment when, at a loss to find ANYthing else...Did I really use Quin's shirt to wipe a string of snot from her upper lip? YES. Gasp!
I'm ONE OF ...THEM.
Looking at the demographics of the people in the DMV today, I am officially THAT girl that everyone ELSE was judging, and probably sneaking a picture of with the camera on their phone (i phone, most likely) so THEY could poke fun at ME on THEIR blogs! Today was a day of self understanding. A wake-up call.
I got dressed in real clothes when I got home, and cut off Quincy's mullet.

Is This a Joke?

My Reese started preschool today. It was a great day for both of us. After I dropped her off, I headed to Lowes to pick up the rest of the supplies for the remodel. The first big difference was that I didn't have to get the enormous race car shopping cart. I popped Quincy into the regular buggy seat, gave her her "key-key" (blankie) and headed into the store. I discovered a 20% off coupon in my wallet that was nearing expiration and decided to get EVERY thing I needed (down to baseboards and white light switches.

As I wandered around the store I realized how QUIET it was. I checked my phone and I had picked out everything on my list in 15 minutes! Record time! I headed to the checkout and the cashier said, "Awww, what a little angel" I looked around...no one EVER uses those words when referring to MY children!

I couldn't believe my eyes.
Little Q had fallen asleep right there sitting up in the shopping cart!

Seriously. Shopping with one kid is a joke compared to shopping with two kids. Actually, my whole morning was like a joke. When I got home, I put her down for a nap and found myself with nothing to do! No diapers to change, no books to read, no breathing treatments to give, no sticky hands to wash or bums to wipe. No little feet to tickle or tummies to zerbet. I felt GUILTY for having no kids to tend. Which is ironic because I have a nice 2-3 hr break like this every single day during afternoon naptime, but this was different because it was MORNING. Quincy still naps twice a day, but I usually still have Reese to keep me company. Even if she's off doing her own thing, I'm still responsible for her.
Is this really happening? I would still have those 2-3 hours of quiet in the afternoon, after lunch. I was fully prepared to waste ALL of that time on myself, as I usually do. But I can't do that twice in one day, can I? It seems so...lazy!

So, I unloaded the supplies from the van, did 2 loads of laundry (I even line dried everything outside on the clothesline), cleaned the kitchen, took a shower, straightened my hair and read for a little while. I had forgotten how much free time I had when it was just me and little Reese. I think I wasted most of it sleeping, eating mac n cheese, and trying not to throw up because I was pregnant. How did I miss such a sweet stage of her life? The 2 nap stage! The fall asleep in the shopping cart stage! What was I thinking?! ONE kid is so easy!
It's times like this when I think I could handle 3 kids. Actually, I KNOW i could handle 3 kids...it's the 9 months of throwing up and partial bed rest before #3 would arrive that I can't handle yet.

We picked Reese up and it was if she hadn't seen us in ages. She was so...Lovely is the only word that seems to fit. Everything she said was sticky sweet and sugar coated: "I love you mommy. I missed you Quincy, you're my best friend and you can come to preschool when you grow bigger and eat your oatmeal. How was your day mommy? Thank you for taking me to preschool mommy. I'll help Quincy with her shoes because I love her so much. May I please have some lunch when we get to our house?" I LOVE those sugar lips!

This was a very nice change from the past 2 weeks....we've had some, er "behavior" issues with her, and it seems like everything has been a fight. Even Quincy was waking up all night long. Just when I was ready to throw in the towel I took them to the pediatrician monday and behold: BOTH girls had ear infections! The doc says they were BLAZIN' red and have probably been infected for over a week, if not longer. She gave them both drops and antibiotics and, since we haven't had any fevers or a runny nose with Reese, she said it's ok to go ahead and go to preschool. Didn't have to tell me twice, I happily dropped her off this morning, and she was happy to go.

Ahh the miracle of amoxicillin.
My house is clean and my kids are happy...what a great day!

Bathroom update, Joe Plumber was a no show today! He called 2 hrs AFTER he was supposed to be here and rescheduled the job for tomorrow morning. I was semi-irritated. Only semi because he was supposed to be here during nap time, and since he wasn't showing up I took a nice 2 hour nap instead. Again, what a great day!